Day 3 of 5 today on our 5-day challenge. How to get kids to listen
without yelling? -Welcome to day 3. Our objective today is to actively practice
and express appreciation and gratitude. -You know, Vicki, this is the first step
really toward establishing higher levels of positivity. -Right. -And to understand
that, the introductory video on this channel "How to stay positive no matter
what?" gives a model the helps but this in the context. It's a really important way
to take a look at the way we evaluate our life. And then that changes how we
show up. Our mantra for day 3 of the 5 day challenge is, "I am so happy and
grateful for my abundant life. I am so happy and grateful for my abundant life."
Write it down. Get it in your journal. And practice saying that several times today
as the mantra for challenge day 3. A quick comment about these mantras. We're
encouraging you to say something that you might not completely connect with.
This one's a little easier because you can actually look at your life and see
the abundance that is there. Sometimes we get focused on the things that we're
lacking. You know? What we can't do or what's not there. And that affects our
feelings. We're asking you through all of the mantras of these daily challenges to
practice saying something different to yourself. And everyone we can make an
argument for the truth of it. It's simply a matter of focus. It's all about
changing or helping to hone in on the focus. You know, this brings up just a
thought. Many of you know I'm a speech therapist. And one of the first things...
I've done this for years. But I have what's called Gratitude gummies. And at
the beginning of our sessions, sometimes it's at the end. I have little gummies,
and I say, "What are you grateful for?" And in order to get a gratitude gummy, they
just say one thing grateful for. And I feel like that sets
us up for a really positive situation to do all of this practicing. Because I'm
asking them to do hard things. And I'm correcting them. And I want them to come
to it with a feeling of gratitude. It gets us started in the right way.
And it's sort of the same thing with this. Let's just start ourselves off with
expressing and feeling some gratitude and appreciation.
-This changes the starting place. And that's what came to my mind as you were
sharing that. It has everything to do with what we're going to do next when we
start from a place of gratitude and abundance. Just really quickly to
demonstrate that. If you look at this on a continuum or a spectrum. And what we
want to do is get clear over here to the better side of life,
well, what's the shortest distance to better? If I start from this is good or
if I start from this is awful? Did you see how much more distance we have to
cover? And that is simply a choice. You get to choose what you focus on. That's
why this abundance is so powerful. So, let's get to the challenge. The challenge
for today is to find an opportunity to express gratitude that is specific and
personal. Now, specific means that it's not just, "Hey, I'm really grateful to you."
No, that's not specific. Could it be any more vague? For what? Get very specific
and personal for that person, "Hey, buddy. I really appreciate the way that you
stepped up and helped after breakfast this morning." Okay. See, that's much more
specific and it's personal to that person. So, get out of the vague and
general stuff into something very specific. Find at least 5
opportunities to express appreciation or gratitude today that is specific and
personal. -You know, this could be as easy as a thank you or a positive comment. In
any situation towards somebody, just a positive comment to that that's a way to
express appreciation and gratitude. -Like a compliment or simply an
acknowledgement of some thing that's very positive about that
person. -We're going to give you a warning though. We need to stay in front of the
"but". If so often that when we make a comment or a compliment or anything, we
we say "But" and so we want to stay in front of the "but". -Right. Just
consider how this feels. "You know, I really appreciate that you got up and
did the dishes after dinner." And as I take that breath in. And you know that
I'm going to say "but". How's that feel to you? -It negates everything that you said prior to the
word "but". -Right. It's like saying forget what I just said. Here's what I really
mean. -Right. -And you know what? We can only then go back to day 2 on this one and
say, "Here, I just did my... You are such a fun child. But I wish it was
easier to calm you down after we've had fun or something like that." Right? You can
return to the do-over and say, "Whoops!" I'm going to say that again. Let me say it, "You are
fun child to play with outside." -And then zip it. We
got to have t-shirts made up, right? And you know what we mean now
by that. Whatever you're saying after the but, just delete that. This isn't the
time for that. -Yeah, that's not the time for it. That might be a conversation you need to
have at some point. But not in our moment of expressing gratitude. Just say your
gratitude your, appreciation and leave it at that. -We'll share some other tools
with you in other videos about how to do the corrections. But what we're focusing
on in this particular series, this 5-day challenge is how to get your
kids to listen without yelling. And you'll notice that all of the challenges
so far have a whole lot to do with you. And how you're approaching this is
as a parent. -Yep. -Will the kids listen better? Yes. They will. It's going to take some
time to change the culture around what's been happening up until now. And I've
talked to so many parents, Vicki. You have too. They gets so frustrated because they
get so caught up in all of the agendas and all of the things they have to
accomplish in the expectations. We're going to talk about those in the
next 2 challenges also. It's so important to give back to the
appreciation and and create that kind of energy. One of my clients shared this
with me. He said, "Oh, that kind of gives you the emotional currency that you're
going to take into creation mode." -Right. -Now, some of that's code for all the
positivity work we'd been doing together. Basically what he's saying is starting
from that place of gratitude changes the game. As you get into what it is you
actually want to change or create as you move forward. Powerful. -We're going to take
this gratitude, this appreciation and put it into 5 context today. That's your
challenge. -Yes. Now, do you remember I said do this at least 5 times? Let's talk
about the 5 contexts. I want you to try this in the context of yourself.
That's the first one. What can you be grateful for just experience some
abundance and express some appreciation to yourself? That's the first. Second, your
spouse or primary parenting partner. Expressing gratitude over there in that
department. The third context is your family as a
whole. This might happen around the dinner table. In fact, we've done some
other videos about having family dinner together. There's a lot of times when the
family is kind of together. Take one of those opportunities to express this
appreciation to the family as a whole. -Remember this appreciation is specific
and it's personal. So, one of our challenges for you is to give this
appreciation for your most challenging child. -Pick the most challenging one. -Yeah. Find
a way to express some appreciation that is very specific and personal for that
child. -And remember, challenge for day one was to smile, okay?
So, make it genuine, make it authentic. That's the fourth context. -And the last
one is to express appreciation for someone else that's on at least 2
other people on your team, your parenting team outside of your home. So, might be...
Your parent might be a friend who said something that has made a difference for
you. Whatever it is, whoever has helped you in your parenting,
express some appreciation to them. -Yes. -Strengthen that team. And this also
changes something in your own mind because as you reach outside of your own
home and you realize, you're more connected than you feel sometimes. And
we're on your parenting team. You can put some of that appreciation in the
Instagram post if you want to. For other parents who are sharing. But find 2
people outside of your home who you can express that appreciation to. So, those
are the 5 contexts. This is day 3 of 5. Hopefully you're taking this
seriously. Would you also share this series with
someone else? And remember to come on over to Instagram where we have
corresponding posts and you can share your ideas and what you're learning and
we can interact together as a team.
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