Hi…
I’m Brad Browning.
I’m a relationship coach, breakup guru, and author.
This video will give you some tips and advice for phoning your ex…
I’ll tell you what to say when you call your ex, and give some more general advice
on how to handle a phone conversation.
Just a quick plug before I dive into the important stuff…
please, do me a huge favor and click the like button below this video if you find it helpful,
I’d really appreciate it!
And of course if you have questions you’d like me to answer, or if you just want to
share your thoughts, use the comments section below and I’ll get back to you.
OK, let’s get on with it!
First, though, I should quickly say that while there’s nothing wrong with phoning your
ex… and calling him or her can really help you win them back, if you handle things well…
I usually recommend text messages as the best way to start talking with your ex again.
I’ve got other videos here on texting, and you can get some sample text message ideas
at my website BreakupBrad.com…
so if you and your ex used to text back and forth a lot, that’s a better option than
phoning for the first few conversations.
But, if your ex isn’t into text messages or you’re at the point where you’d rather
phone, then that’s fine too.
There are actually a few benefits to getting your ex on the phone.
The sound of your voice can bring back memories, and it's certainly a more personal and intimate
form of communication.
You just need to make sure you know exactly what you're going to say when you pick up
the phone to call your ex.
First and foremost, you should keep all initial conversations very brief -- one or two minutes
is ideal.
You should also be the one to end these first phone calls, not your ex.
Come up with some sort of excuse after a minute or two of chit-chat... something such as,
"sorry I'm actually about to head out the door, maybe we can catch up more another time."
If you don’t like the idea of shutting down the conversation so quickly, you can leave
the door open for your ex to phone you again at a later date by saying, "if you want to
chat more why don't you give me a shout this weekend?
I'll be around."
This allows you to be the one to end the call after a few minutes, but still indicates to
your ex that you're interested in chatting more in the future.
It’s not necessary to do this, though, so I’ll call it “optional”.
What’s NOT optional is the nature of your conversations.
Keep all phone calls with your ex casual, upbeat, and friendly.
Make sure you sound happy, not depressed.
Remember: you're fine with the breakup and you don't really need your ex anymore (even
if that's not true, it's the message you should be sending).
Don't bring up any serious topics, and definitely don't mention the breakup or your desire to
get back together with your ex.
If he or she tries to bring up these topics, try to move the conversation on to something
else as quickly as possible (without being rude).
If you call and your ex doesn’t answer, don’t stress… leaving a voicemail is actually
a great option.
Just keep the message really short, and don’t sound nervous or anxious….
just say something really quick and thoughtful, such as: “Hey, just wanted to call and let
you know that the funny t-shirt store downtown that you love is having a huge sale next!
Thought you’d like to know since you always said you loved that store but hated how expensive
it was.
Anyways, hope all is well!”
Make sure you prepare ahead of time, so that if you do end up leaving a voicemail, you
know what you’re going to say and you don’t have to struggle to come up with something
meaningful on the spot.
Also, notice that I kept the message super short, and I didn’t say anything that would
make your ex feel pressured into calling you back….
just a quick, thoughtful message that will get your ex thinking about you again.
Whether your ex picks up or you have to leave a message, just remember: you’re not trying
to get back together with the first phone call.
Start with a brief, fun, and upbeat message or call… be calm and cool…
have fun and enjoy the conversation.
Don’t bring up anything serious.
Your only goal at this point is to get your ex thinking about you again, remind them how
much fun it is to talk and hang out with you, and start rebuilding some attraction.
One last thing I should mention: you might also be wondering about what to do if your
ex calls you.
If you’ve followed the strategies I’ve explained in other videos and in my Ex Factor
program, there’s a good chance that will happen at some point.
That’s great, but you should also be prepared for that, and know how you’re going to handle
the call if and when it comes.
The same principles apply: keep it short, stick to fun and interesting chit-chat, and
be the one to end the call.
You want your ex to think that you’re busy with your social life, busy with dating new
people, and so on….
so, the first few conversations need to be brief, and you should be the one to decide
when they end (this is a subtle but powerful way to manipulate the way your ex sees you).
That’s all for now… thanks very much for taking the time to watch this video, and as
I said at the beginning, please click the “like” button below, I really appreciate
it.
And lastly, if you want to talk more about your situation, you can always email me…
just head over to my website, www.BreakupBrad.com, where you’ll find my contact info as well
as an in-depth video presentation that shares some more advice on winning back your ex.
Hope to talk with you soon, take care!