Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items that are not
anomalous.
We've listed them here just in case any sites need some extra stuff.
– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██
Item Description: A lamp with a switch.
When plugged in and the switch is flipped, the light will turn on.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: A lamp store in Baltimore.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. Kelp's office.
Item Description: A can of Sprite with 'shaken very well >:)' [sic] written in sharpie on
it.
When opened, no fizz occurred.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: The Site-19 cafeteria.
Current Status: In a recycling bin.
Notes: It's theorized that the can sat around for quite a while before being opened causing
the shaking to do nothing.
- Junior Researcher Furrow
Item Description: A fridge.
When a banana is placed inside it, the fridge will cause the banana's skin to become black
although no damage to the banana itself has been recorded.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Bought from a Best Buy
located in Mumbai, India.
Current Status: Used in the Area-43 breakroom.
Item Description: A 1-rupee coin that when flipped, has a 50% chance of landing heads
up and a 50% chance of landing tails up.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Received as change during
the purchase of the previous object.
Current Status: Kept in a high-security storage locker.
Item Description: A McRib sandwich.
When offered to any Vegan, all have universally refused to eat it.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Obtained from the ██ ██████'█ chain
fast food restaurant.
Current Status: Decommissioned by Junior Researcher Furrow.
Item Description: The cadaver of a 48-year-old human male.
Appears to have died by natural causes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Formerly Junior Researcher
Furrow.
Current Status: Kept at the Site-96 Morgue.
Item Description: A copy of the board game Monopoly.
All tests involving the object resulted in 1 or more participants overturning the table
it was being played on.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: It was added to the
Site-78 breakroom during the Site's creation.
Current Status: Kept in a low-value storage locker.
Notes: I don't know what kind of monster decided to add that to a place where people are meant
to relax!
- Junior Researcher Lyle
Item Description: A large statue made of concrete and rebar.
When stared at, it does not move.
When not stared at, it does not move.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: A graveyard in Kentucky
Current Status: Has not been moved, it is still the headstone for Langely Keiren's grave.
Item Description: A box of assorted fruit-flavored hard candies.
All candies taste like their fruit counterparts aside from the banana-flavored candies which
have a flavor unlike how any baseline banana tastes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Jim's Deli in Brooklyn
New York Current Status: Returned to Jim's Deli.
Notes: Jim's Deli does not accept returns.
So if any personnel who live in Brooklyn wish, they may use the Foundation's $1.35 credit
at Jim's Deli using the coupon code: ████-████-████ - Dr. Higgins
Item Description: A bed formerly owned by Iris Dark.
When slept in for at least 10 hours, 90% of subjects will wake up feeling well-rested.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Recovered during a raid
on an MC&D Warehouse.
The bed was found in the upstairs area which was supposedly used as a safe house location
for Dark.
Current Status: Used in D-class cell 7,416 at Site-89.
Item Description: An O5 keycard.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: O5-7's pocket.
Current Status: Kept in a secure storage locker at Site-█
Notes: I had no idea.
It has just been sitting in my pocket since I was promoted and I never even considered
the possibility of it being non-anomalous!
What a fool I was.
- O5-7
Log of Non-Anomalous Items II: Sequels are Always Worse
Foreword: We found even more stuff that shows no signs of anomalous activity.
– Dr. █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██
Item Description: A set of 67 logs.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Jimbo's Lumber Mill.
Current Status: Must be built into a new log cabin immediately.
Note: We're not paying to build you a new house Devin.
- Dir.
Micheals
Item Description: A DVD box set of season 1 of Spongebob.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Site-12 break room.
Notes: Got this at a crazy low price when Blockbuster went out of business.
Seriously, it was only 2 dollars, a steal.
- Dr. Greene
Item Description: A poster for Spongebob season 1.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Site-12 break room.
Notes: They gave me this for free!
Along with my purchase of the DVD box set.
- Dr. Greene
Item Description: Not a calendar with crosses on all days up to and including January 25th
that doesn't have "Opposite Day" written on it.
You don't have to say the opposite of what is true when talking about this object.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Sold from a store that
does not sell calendars.
Current Status: Kept in an unsecure storage locker at somewhere other than a Foundation
Site.
Notes: No you don't?
You can talk about this calendar normally.
- Dir.
Michaels See!?
- Junior Researcher Holmes
Item Description: A hat.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Hat rack at Site-65.
Current Status: Hat rack at Site-65.
Item Description: An empty storage locker.
When any object is placed into the locker and the locker is closed, the object becomes
invisible.
Investigation into the inside of the box while it is closed using sonar technology shows
the object is still present inside the locker while it is invisible.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Built along with the
rest of Site-54.
Current Status: Kept in an even larger storage locker.
Item Description: A pack of Spongebob gummy candies.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: Kept in Dr. Greene's desk drawer.
Notes: I also got these gummies.
They were actually pretty expensive at 5 bucks a pack but they're really good!
- Dr. Greene
Item Description: A switch knife.
Any individual injured by the knife in a way that would normally cause death will die.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Confiscated from a civilian
after a violent altercation with another civilian.
Current Status: Kept in a secure storage locker at Site-18.
Item Description: A Spongeb[DATA EXPUNGED] Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Blockbuster Video.
Current Status: [DATA EXPUNGED] Notes: Dr. Greene was killed while conducting
tests on the above object.
She will be missed.
- Dr. Bluee
Item Description: A pair of dice.
When rolled the resulting numbers added together will always end up being a number between
two (2) and twelve (12).
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: A magic shop in Las
Vegas.
Current Status: Banned from use by staff.
Item Description: A VHS copy of Ghostbusters 2.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Garage Sale.
Current Status: Permanently jammed in the Site-18 VCR.
Notes: A pretty unnecessary sequel.
I don't really know why you'd make a second one, it'll never live up to the original.
- O5-7