- Hey guys, so in my last video I talked about
some awkward closeted moments I had
as a young secret gay, spoiler alert, go watch it,
because I'm about to ruin it.
I talked about how I fell in love with a male co-worker
while I was in the closet.
And then it turned put he was straight
and tried to introduce me to a life of crime.
There was many plot twists, anyway.
Since I made that, I got a lot of comments
asking for more awkward moments.
Do it again!
And as a Phil, navigating through life,
most situations that I'm in turn out awkward.
So I've got some pretty good ones to share with you today.
I also asked my channel members for some to warm us up.
And they delivered.
My phone's upside down.
Let's see what they said.
Peach said, my whole life
has been an awkward closeted moment.
I bet loads of people just said, same.
(laughs)
At their phone.
Caitlyn said, I talked about my celebrity crush enough
to the point that I outed myself to one of my friends.
See I did the opposite, I just talked about
Buffy the Vampire Slayer the whole time.
So people thought I was straight.
When really, was I thinking of Spike.
Kristin, a family friend of mine asked if I wanted to go
on a bike ride with her to scope out some hot guys.
I'll go.
I just stared at her for a full minute
because I had no response in my gay panic.
I think anyone in the closet will relate to that.
Gay panic!
Feeling.
Mabel, this isn't a story, but I'm very scared
that if I ever go under anesthetic I'm going to out myself.
Has anyone else done that?
Doctor's like, okay, we're just putting you to sleep now
and Mabel's like, I'm gay.
I'm sure you don't sound like that.
I don't know why I chose that as your voice.
But before we get into my stories from the closet.
I wanted to tell you about something
that you could decorate your closet with.
Was that a good link?
And so the sponsor of this video is, Displate.
- [Male] Hey Phil, what's a Displate?
- Well, I've got one between my legs.
In a non-dodgy way.
It is a metal poster.
They're super high quality and there are thousands
of designs you could choose from.
I chose a few.
I wanted something that reminded me of my trip to Japan,
so I got this one of Tokyo.
And this one, which I particularly love,
of Osaka and the cherry blossoms.
Look, there's me.
Posing next to the glico man.
I can pretend it's me.
I'll show you another one.
I couldn't help myself, I got like five.
This is my shigloo ghibli one,
based on hell's moving castle.
I love the silhouette effect on the metal.
The other cool this is,
you're not only getting a cool poster,
but you are helping the environment.
As with every Displate sold,
trees are planted somewhere in the globe, that needs them.
So every time you look at your poster, you can think,
how's my little tree growing?
Over here I've put two of my favorites
from the collection, City Pop.
And they're super easy to take on and off the wall
without damaging them, due to the power of magnets.
So if you wanna check them out, I've put a link below,
where I've curated a special selection, just for you.
And if you order using my link before Monday the 13th,
you can get these discounts, which I've got on the screen.
All right, let's give ourselves a bit of exercise
with a full body cringe.
Time to jump back in the closet.
Straight or Gay?
So when I was about 11 or 12, I think I was in year seven,
if that means anything to you.
At that point, I was a bit of a sheltered, sheepy kid.
And I don't think I'd heard that many terms of sexuality.
I think I heard gay before.
Mainly because it's been used as like a insult.
Your mum's so gay.
I went to my friend's house, let's call him Luke.
That's not his name, I'm learning.
And his mum's way of telling him
about the birds and the bees,
was to shove a book under his door,
that was all about the facts of life.
So we thought it'd be fun to have a look at the book
and maybe have a laugh if we saw a penis.
And then we got to a page that had the heading,
Gay or Straight, question mark.
And then there was a few paragraphs,
but we only ready the first one,
about what gay people were like.
Which was actually more education about sexuality
than I ever got from school.
So thanks Luke.
The critical thing I missed,
I'm so annoyed that Luke turned the page,
we never got onto the description of what straight was.
I didn't even know what that was.
So, from reading that paragraph,
I thought both of the words, gay and straight, meant gay.
So in Philly's brain,
being in love with another man, totally straight.
Yeah.
Some time passed and I was sat with all my friends
at lunch time.
And we got onto the topic of being gay.
Anyway, we were just going around the gloup, gloup,
the gloup, the group, chatting about it.
One of the girls said to me, and yeah Phil,
you're straight aren't you?
Remember I'm in the closet now.
So inside I was burning up, I was like, oh no,
they just asked me if I'm straight, which means gay.
And then I would have to deny being gay.
I'm not even sure what I am.
I'm only 11.
This is so confusing.
So I got all defensive, I was like,
no I'm not straight, why would you ask me if I'm straight?
I'm the furthest person from being straight
in the whole school.
There was a silence.
(laughs)
They were just like laughing and they thankfully realized
that I had no idea what straight meant.
And they like, Phil do you know what straight means?
I was like, yeah it means you'd wanna kiss a man.
Because they were my friends, they explained to me
the difference between gay and straight.
And I dodged a big gay bullet.
If only they knew.
Next one is called, I don't know what it's called though.
(laughs)
I probably have to think about this.
The Trick.
So let's zap forward in time,
to when I was 15, 15, 14, 15, something around there.
I knew I liked guys.
I had crushes on guys.
But obviously I wouldn't tell anyone.
So I was still firmly in the clos.
I had a particular crush on one of my friends.
We're gonna call him Jason for today.
And I was talking on MSN, like, ello,
what you up to, loll.
And then I got a blong from Jason and it said,
hey Phil, I found a website,
if you put your name and your crush's name
and some more information and you press go,
it'll tell you how much of a match you are.
And it said, what's your name?
I put Phil.
What's your crush's name?
Obviously, my crush was Jason.
This is the perfect opportunity,
I'm talking to him right now.
Would you go on a date with him?
Yes.
Where would you go?
I don't know what I put, the aquarium, that'd be cute.
And then I think there was a few other questions,
like what's your star sign?
See if you're a match made in destiny.
Anyway, I thought that was fun.
Let's see my answers, pressed go.
The screen went black.
Didn't just go black, it said the word, PRANKED,
in massive letters across the screen.
And underneath, it said all of your answers
have been emailed to Jason at Jason.com.
You can't make this up.
My entire skin went bright red.
I must have looked like a human tomato.
Then I was like, oh my God what have I done?
What have I done?
What, what?
Cancel.
Undo, undo.
There was no undo.
It's over, it sent it.
That was the whole point of the website.
It was a trick, prank website,
so you could find out who your friend's crush's are.
Which is quite fun, unless you're gay
and you've got a crush on the boy
that sent the freaking
prank.
I was like, okay I need to move schools.
I need to move to Mexico.
But then I heard, gong.
I had a message from Jason.
I read the message and it said,
hey so, do you wanna talk?
Do you wanna talk?
What does that mean?
Is that good?
Is that bad?
Is he like, I'm secretly gay too,
now let's gay it up, in secret.
I don't know.
I didn't know.
So I just decided it wasn't worth the risk
and I had a genius brainwave.
Which doesn't happen very often.
I decided to prank the prankster.
So I was like, no loll,
I totally knew it was a fake website.
And he was like, haha, lol, ha, lol, lol, lol, lol, lol,
I got away with it.
I could breathe.
Don't need to move to the moon anymore.
Tiny part of me, thinks he might have been gay
and that was his plan, he wanted to find out if I was.
Don't trick your friends with fake crush websites,
if they still exist.
Restaurant Disco.
So, one night at the university,
we went to a bar, slash club, kind of thingy.
I say thingy because
it was actually a Chinese restaurant.
But they had moved the tables out of they way after hours
and then give you free prawn crackers,
while you were dancing.
It was a thing.
It was great.
Anyway turns out we were there for the LGBT Plus night,
which was good for me.
I was the G, my people were there.
This could've been it.
Phil didn't get that many opportunities.
So I could finally get myself a guy.
So towards the middle of the night,
I got separated from my friends.
Which was hard because the place was the size
of a postage stamp.
Anyway, I was on my own, I was near the bar
and this guy, kinda cute, started to talk to me.
And I was like, this could be it.
Is this the fabled gay, of my university, I didn't know.
I think he was slightly American.
Maybe he was an exchange student.
So he started the conversation with, hey.
And I tried to get in the flirty zone with a,
hey.
And trying to laugh a lot at his jokes.
He'd say something like, yeah I've got two dogs
and I'd be like, hahaha, dogs.
Classic.
So we've been talking for about five, 10 minutes.
And the only weird thing, not a red flag
but maybe like a pink flag, a flag.
He kept looking over to his friends,
when he was talking to me, just like over his shoulder.
Not laughing, just like glancing at them.
So I don't know if he'd told them like,
oh I'm gonna go talk to this guy and it's a big deal
or something else was happening.
I wasn't sure but I just ignored it.
Bit then I decided to slip in a move.
You ready for the move?
Pretty by the book.
It was, hey, do want a drink?
I'm going to get one from the bar,
I will get you a beverage and then you will drink it
and you'll know I like you.
Because I spent four pound fifty on a cocktail
that's probably mostly water.
So I gave him his drink, seemed really happy, had a sip.
And then I thought here we go.
The move is, time, it's time for a move.
So I said, out of everyone in the room,
why'd you start talking to me?
And then he burst out laughing.
Yep, he burst out laughing.
What, what, what, what, what's happening?
Loads of things going through my head.
Have I got something on my face?
Has someone done something really funny behind me?
Oh no, I'm against the wall.
And after some more laughing, he said,
I'm so sorry man, my friends dared me
to come and speak to you
because we thought you were the guy
from the car insurance commercial.
No, no,
no.
I couldn't even form a word.
My tongue had fallen out my mouth.
It was on the floor.
I was stamping on my own tongue.
Side note viewers, if you're new to me,
I was in an incredibly cringe car insurance advert.
So after some silence and wanting to die,
I said, oh, yeah that is me.
And I'm trying in my head to decide if I'd rather
dissolve into a puddle or just eat my own face
in front of him.
So he was like, yeah man, my girlfriend's back there,
she'd love to get a picture with us.
He's not even gay.
He's not remotely interested in me.
He just wanted a picture with his girlfriend
because of the stupid car insurance.
Then we went and got a photo.
I actually hung out with him and his friends for a bit.
They were quite nice.
But there was no gay love for Phil
in the Chinese restaurant, disco.
I don't think I could physically cringe any more today so,
I will stop.
If you enjoyed this, please give me a thumbs up.
Make sure to leave any awkward closeted moments you've got
in the comments below.
Also make sure to check out Displate,
if you wanna get yourself a metal poster
with some money off.
You can subscribe here and watch my last video
where I talk about coming out, one year later,
by clicking up there.
Hope you're having a good day.
And I will see you very soon.
Goodbye.