- It's finally Friday.
You know what that means?
That means that I'm gonna let the good times roll.
That's actually how that song ends, I think.
It's like, let's hit the road,
we're running, let the good times roll.
And I'm on Facebook, answering your question.
So, if you ask me, use the hashtag #katiFAQ,
and you put it in my inbox, and you would try to be
concise, because that makes it easy for me,
then I'm answering your question.
And I have to scoot, because my friend Kim
is flying in today, and I have to get to YouTube
for a happy hour, so, make this lickety-split, okay?
So, first question, "How are you supposed to talk with
"a new therapist for the first appointment?
"They usually give us three appointments
"to figure out whether or not we click.
"What are some ways I can get the most
"out of these three sessions?"
That's awesome that they give you three sessions,
to figure out if they click.
It's amazing.
So, honestly,
being open and honest
about what you're wanting to get out of therapy.
So, that might be something you can do
in the meantime, before you go in, is like
what is it that I'm hoping to work on?
Like, for instance, when I went in to therapy recently,
I was telling Jana, my therapist, I was like,
you know, I'm getting married and it's stressful,
and I'm bouncing a lot of things, and I just
really want to find better ways to manage that.
So, I had an idea of what I wanted
to work on at that point in time, okay?
So, think about it and bring that in, and say,
you know, I'm struggling with this and I'm just
really looking for someone who can help me out with that,
and are you comfortable working with that?
And having the conversation.
But, to be honest, I have a video on this topic,
called Therapeutic Relationship,
you should check it out on my channel.
But, a lot of it's about how it just feels.
It will just happen organically.
You'll be sitting down with someone,
and all of the sudden, you'll be like
yeah, I can really just talk to you,
that it's easy, I feel comfortable.
And just pay attention to that
so that you can notice right away, okay?
Question number two.
"Is it normal to be scared to recover from mental illness?
"I am, sad-face."
Yeah, it's very normal.
A lot of it, a lot of our identity
can get wrapped up into our mental illness.
A lot of my clients, I have to work with them
to change the verbiage that they use
and the words that they use to describe themselves.
Because a lot of people will say something
to the effect of, you know, who am I?
I'm a person who struggles from depression.
I'm a person who has an eating disorder.
I'm a person who self-harms.
No, that is not you, that is a diagnosis.
You enjoy horseback riding, like art, listen to music,
you know, like to shop, whatever it is,
that's who you really are.
And I try to get my clients to focus on that
because that's what makes us scared.
We're afraid to lose that part of ourselves
but really, we're gaining a whole bunch of who we are
and it's amazing to, like, feel free and to actually
have your personality back, and your excitement,
and your love, and energy that people want.
So, I would take time and journal about what it means
to be recovered and what you're afraid of.
Are there expectations from people,
from your parents, if you're healthy?
Do they expect you to do certain things?
Thinking about that and taking the time
can really slowly make that fear go away, okay?
And it's a process, so take your time.
Know that recovery doesn't happen over night,
so you're not expected to just be able to give
everything up and switch back over all of the sudden, okay?
Question number three.
"Hey, Katie, so my question is
"why do I tend to push people away
"who really like me and care for me?
"For instance, my boyfriend, or other close friends,
"who just want to spend time with me spontaneously.
"I'm just not that flexible.
"Or what's the problem with me?"
Usually, if we're pushing people away,
if you've watched my Borderline Personality Disorder video,
sometimes it's a protective mechanism.
And that doesn't mean you have Borderline,
I'm not saying that you are BPD, I'm just saying
that it's something that we can do.
It's part of our attachment issues,
which a lot of us have, and it doesn't mean
that we have Borderline, it just means that
we're afraid of getting hurt sometimes.
And so, we will push away first, like
oh, I will leave you first, so that you don't leave me.
Because I don't want you to leave me because then
that negative voice will get louder and
I'll think that I'm a bad person, et cetera.
So we'll leave first.
So, that could be one option.
Another option could be that having plans that are
last minute and things changing makes us
really uncomfortable, especially when we're new
in recovery and we're really stuck to our schedule
and that helps us fight the urges,
and it helps us stay on track, right?
It can be scary for someone to flip that
and put something into the mix.
And that's something that I would talk to your
therapist or your dietitian about,
leaving some wiggle-room in your schedule
for things like this.
Like, oh, I planned for this spontaneous adventure,
and so I can do this, this, this, and that will work.
And preparing ahead of time can make us more
flexible and able to be spontaneous.
Because, you know, life is spontaneous, right?
And keep me posted about how this is going,
because, I know we talk quite a bit.
Okay, question number four.
"What can I do?
"I keep having flashbacks when I've made a mistake,
"said or done something stupid.
"I have these flashbacks more than once a day, every day.
"They happen randomly, even when I'm in a good mood.
"It makes me more likely to self-harm or
"binge and purge, sometimes I will self-harm
"in public, like even hitting my arm, pinching my wrist,
"et cetera, and I don't even realize
"until after it happens."
Often times, this is a result of your negative thinking
taking over, and kind of that black and white
thought process that we have.
Like, we're either having an amazing day,
everything is great, or we're stupid and
we're making bad choices, and we're a
terrible person, blah blah blah blah, right?
And there's no gray.
And it sounds to me like that negative voice
that drive your self-harm and your
binge and purging is running in over-drive.
And something that will really help to
stop these flashbacks is talking back
to that negative voice more often.
Even if it's not yelling at you now, trust me.
You know what it says and you know what
flashbacks it brings up and would encourage you
to talk back to those experiences.
Like, I'll think of my own embarrassing moment, okay?
I remember I was in middle school, and I was
running to get a soccer ball, because I played soccer,
and I tripped over this, like, wood plank thing
that ran right before it hit the track,
and I fell flat on my face in the mud, okay?
Like, I was mortified because, you know,
you're at that age where you're like
eh, I'm not really comfortable with who I am.
Mortified.
But you know what I would say back to that experience
if it was to come into my head
in the middle of the day, I'd be like
you know, I was trying my best, everybody trips.
Nobody's perfect.
And I laughed it off, my friends laughed it off,
nobody else brought it up again,
so why am I still thinking about it?
It doesn't affect me today.
Did it happen right now?
No, it didn't, so I'm going to move forward
because that's not important today.
And you can see how you can kind of talk back to it.
And I know that sometimes we have trouble
getting the words out, but just keep practicing.
It'll get easier.
And for the journal topic today.
This was great, I follow Onzie,
which is a yoga brand that I like.
It's yoga pants and stuff.
And they have these quotes people will post
on their photos, and I really love this quote.
So the quote is, "If it doesn't challenge you,
"it won't change you."
And this is so powerful because, oftentimes,
we get discouraged when things are really hard,
and we think oh, I'll never make it,
I just can't do it, it's to hard, bah.
But, if we don't challenge ourselves, we'll never change,
we will never get out of this rut, right?
Anything worth doing is worth fighting for.
And think about our community and our channel.
If I didn't keep doing this and keep fighting for
subscribers and raising awareness and
going to these YouTube hangouts and all this stuff, right?
Then we would never have created this,
we wouldn't keep growing, and it
wouldn't be what it is today, right?
And it challenges me, but it's changing me.
And it's changing lives, and we're
building an amazing community, right?
So, anything worth doing is worth fighting for.
And if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you.
So, let's rise to the occasion.
Think of the things that challenge you.
Write them down, and let's put a plan together
this week for how we're going to keep at it, okay?
I love you all.
Have a wonderful weekend.
I will see you on Monday for my
regularly scheduled video release.
And then I'll be on Tumblr on Tuesday.
So, ask your questions, okay?
Bye.