Hey guys!
So I've been watching just a tiny bit of anime more than usual
And to be honest I... I did not do my hair...
You know what?
Give me one second.
(Super Saiyan Activated)
There we go.
Like I said, I've been watching a little bit of anime lately.
And if you grew up watching anime your whole life like I did, you tend to not care about or even notice all the really weird things that happen in animes.
Well, for a while I kinda stopped watching animes, and only recently got back into it.
You know, I'm one of those binge-watchers when it comes to shows
I like to watch a bunch of episodes in a row and then stop for a while so the episodes build up
So that I can watch a bunch again
I dunno, it's just upsetting to me
You know, it really pisses me off
They always end on a cliffhanger and then make you want to know what's going to happen next, but you can't know until a week from now.
And you know what's even more upsetting with animes is when you wait the whole week for an episode
and you finally tune in and it's time to watch the new episode and it turns out that that episode is a...
Dare I say it...
A filler.
(Gasps) :O
What are you guys doing in here?
Vlog is taking too long.
Seriously.
You complain about fillers, and this is literally turning into one
Yeah, so get to the point already!
okay, um...
Welcome to the (stutters) h-how to... how to be.. anime stuff. (poor Ryan)
Welcome to how to be an anime superhero!
(breath in) let's-
(finger snaps)
Let's get started!
Lesson 1: The Characters
The first step in being an anime superhero is to know the different characters.
All anime have very similar characters to one another.
First off, there's the main character who's either really cool and super strong or...
He's really goofy and funny, and deceptively strong.
Then there's the main supporting character!
Who's either the main characters best friend or the main character's rival.
And this supporting character is based off of the main character
He is literally the opposite of what the main character is.
If the main character is cool, then this guy is goofy...
And if the main character is goofy, then this guy is cool.
After that we have another main supporting character known as the attractive, but abusive girl.
Which for some reason always abuses one of the other main characters
Whoever's playing the goofy one.
Also, there might be a random, talking pet that follows the gang around as well. (TEDDY!!!!)
And that's pretty much your group of main characters.
Of course there's also the less-er important characters as well.
Such as...
The perverted old guy character.
The cute girl who always talks while she smiles with her eyes closed.
The guy who is animated differently from the others for some reason.
The chubby guy that's always eating.
OR... The really skinny girl that eats like the chubby guy
And so on
But in all honesty you don't really need to know anything about those characters,
Because they're not as important in the story line.
Even though you probably will eventually learn everything about them
Because of the DAM FILLERS.
Lesson 2: Anime Emotions
Now that you know all the anime characters
It's time to act like one
Here are some very basic anime emotions that all anime superheroes need to use such as...
The Cheek Blush
The cheek blush is basically for whenever your love interest enters the room
(SEAN XD)
The hands over head laugh.
For any nervous situations, or trying to hide a secret of some sort
You use the hands over head laugh.
The thumbs up, shiny teeth ding.
*DING!!!!!!!*
The eye pull, tongue diss.
BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The wide mouth stutter
And of course
You cannot forget the classics:
The nose bleed
Whenever a man, specifically an old man sees something even the tiniest bit sexual, for some reason, he has a TINY little nose bleed.
Oh.. I'm so sorry, let me get that
That's alright, don't worry about it.
Oh, your bag.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I love your lipstick
Thank you
It's so cute on you. Let me try.
Oh ok.
(Really, Derrick. REALLY?)
(Yea. TINY nose bleed.)
Lesson 3: Battling.
Every good anime has some kind of battle in it.
Whether it's actual fighting, or supernatural fighting,
Sometimes it's not even fighting at all.
Regardless, there's always some kind of battle, and in order to make it an anime battle,
You have to follow a specific set of rules
For example,
In most real fights, you want to win as fast as possible
But in animes, the opposite.
You want to prolong the fight for as long as you can by talking to your opponent, the entire time.
Even, right in the middle of the fight
Wait! Jeez man
What?
Can we at least take a moment so I can say something like: "Wow, you're a lot stronger than I thought you were" or something
I-, I- guess...
K.
Well...
(In pain) You're.. a lot stronger than I thought you were...
Hello?
What?
Don't you have something to say back to me? like...
Uh.... Oh! uh...
Thank. You?
*sigh*
Another very important rule for battling like an anime hero is to take turns.
Yea.
In a real fight you might want to dominate the entire fight and just win right away
But in a anime battle, you and your opponent need to take turns having the upper hand.
And also very important when you guys are doing the back and forth, make sure that you're thinking about it loudly in your head, so that the viewer knows whose winning at the time.
Don't want them to be confused.
(ARGHGHHGHGHAHRHHGAHHRHAHG x Many times)
Huh. seems like we're evenly matched
*More grunting and magic noises
No... He's getting even stronger!
Yes, it seems I have the upper hand now. HAHAHAHAHA
This way I'll be destroyed. It's now or never!
His power's even greater than before!
I guess I have to.... *concentration*
He's gotten even stronger! Didn't want to do this, but... (trying so hard)
So Much Power... I'll... have to... break! (More trying)
What? I thought you were already at full strength?
I was... but... Wait. What? You can hear my thoughts?
I guess I can
Can you hear mine?
Yea... Totally
This is crazy, have you done this before?
No, this is my first time!
Same here. I guess we can only read each other's minds.
Wonder what that means. Maybe we're related somehow
SSSHSHSHHH... SPOILER!
Lesson 4: Google It.
Now, this is a very important lesson to being an anime superhero, especially for someone like me.
Every great anime is in Japanese, and if you're just like me, you don't speak a single word of it. (What about konnichiwa?)
Hence, lesson 4: Google it.
All you have to do is type in what you want to say, listen to what it sounds like and then repeat it back perfectly.
It's 100% accurate every single time.
Or should I say...
毎回100％正確です
Maikai no senoifwosinvlrfmclsc desu.
Lesson 5: Make an episode
The last lesson you need to know to be a true anime superhero, is to make a true anime episode.
Yes, there's rules here as well
You can't just jump right into the story, that's not how it works in the anime world.
First of all, you need an opening theme song.
Which pretty much sounds like Japanese Rock Music with the occasional English line in it.
And you accompany that theme music with a bunch of random scenes from the show.
Whether it's the characters
Or people punching and kicking or trees or water or whatever it is.
It doesn't really matter
Because this is the point that the viewers are going to skip anyway
Next, you have to recap the previous episode, because we all know, anime watchers have the memory capacity of a 2 year old.
And last but not least
All you have to do is show the title and the episode number that the viewers are on and you're ready to begin the episode.
Right after you recap the recap that the viewer just saw
And there you have it
If you follow all of these lessons and put it all together
Congratulations, you are an anime superhero.
*CELEBRATION*
And it should look a little something like this...
Teehee!