- Sometimes you have a feeling
or a thought or a situation
and you know, you're trying to let it go
and sometimes it doesn't go away.
Sometimes it lingers and it stays there.
I used to believe writing about it or talking about it
was just adding, you know, fuel to the flame.
In order for this to go away,
I can't talk about it, I can't write about it.
I decided like, I think I need to just confront-
Let's just deal with it,
let's just talk about it. Why not?
And get as many songs as I can out of this situation.
This song, you know, I heard Camper playing the chords.
I just remember like hearing the groove
and feeling like this feels really good.
And it felt like it kind of lingered,
like you don't want it to stop.
And I remember Ty was singing a melody.
I thought he was singing Back Of My Mind.
And I think I just heard that
because that's what I really want it to say.
Most of it is real.
Most of, most of it is just conversation,
like straight conversation. Something I would actually say,
or it's an exaggerated version of the truth.
So, you know, I'm a hopeless romantic,
so there's certain things I may say,
but I would never say that to the person or like,
it's really not that deep.
Like it's really not that serious,
but it may be that serious to me.
Oh, when it gets to me,
its like this feeling doesn't happen all the time.
I'm an over thinker, you know?
And I'm also somebody that loves to reminisce.
So when I say like,
I be thinking way too hard about our history.
It's like, damn. Like you're really sitting there like-
Something happens and then it kind of just fades away.
And you're like, what was that? I don't know.
Does it matter? It shouldn't right.
It shouldn't matter.
Should've never got involved with you
because mistakes are made,
you know, people get hurt,
you know, things happen.
And you know, sometimes it's not a good situation
to begin with and you just going with it.
And you knew in the first place that you shouldn't have.
Sometimes it's that regret. Like I should have known.
You know, I think I knew and I,
I just kind of let myself go anyways and,
and that's okay. You learn from that too.
And I think it's mostly regretful
because you're sitting here overthinking it.
Anything you have to sit and overthink.
You're like, I should've never, ugh.
I wouldn't be here if, you know,
if I would've listened to myself.
If I was having this conversation with that person
right now, and we were face to face,
in the back of my mind, whoever you're with
is going to be calling you or is going to be thinking
about who you're with.
When you slowly drift from somebody
and then you either see on social media, you hear
that there is, you know, somebody else,
you're kinda like, mm, okay.
You know? And then you're like,
I wonder where their mind is at, you know,
even deeper than like who this person is.
Like I wonder where, where you are,
what you feel like, what space are you in
in a new relationship? Or if you were even ready for that.
I think about you but I know there's no way
that you don't think about me as much as I think about you,
if not more because I'm the greatest of all time.
Let's just put it that way.
You're not moving forward with whatever this is.
You're not thinking about whatever this is
or not thinking about it.
You're not talking about whatever this is and I'm not.
So we'll just leave it at that.
So nevermind.
You know, when you in a room with somebody
that you have tension with and you just like, I don't,
I don't like this.
I'm finding myself not knowing how to act,
or I know if I'm alone with you, then it's a problem.
I always got to try to hold back the energy
because like, there is an energy,
like I always got to try to hold it back
and not show you and surrender to it either
because you may take advantage of it
or I may take advantage of it. You know?
It's just human nature.
As a girl, you know, as a woman,
we tend to like, oh, maybe he's this.
Maybe it's that, you know,
maybe it's this or what could it be?
And sometimes it's not that complex in their minds.
Like it's very straight to the point. And it is what it is.
If you have to question it, it's a red flag, period.
Like that's a red flag. If you have to question,
if you have to guess, there's no clarity. Red flag,
right there.
Oh yeah. There's definitely a lot of pride.
And I don't know if I would drop it all.
When I do feel this, I would drop it all.
But then I come to my senses and realize this,
this isn't, it's not what it is. It's not what it should be.
It was never an ideal situation.
You know, it was never a good situation to begin with.
That's how we do things like, this aint nothing new.
Like we've been through this,
we've been going through this up and down thing.
So it's not even nothing new.
There's your new thing. Does she do things for you?
You know, you really think about that.
Like I wonder, like what's the dynamic there?
Or like what, what does she have? You know?
Sometimes you think that I don't,
or I'll guarantee you is not what this could have been,
you know? So of course you have those thoughts.
This is what you're really feeling.
Like there's no running away from that.
You can't escape that.
And so that's how it played into being the title
of my album and realizing a lot of these songs
that I was writing were feelings or things
that I tried to escape or tried to avoid.
And you can't avoid what you feel.
It comes out in other ways, regardless.
And for me, it's music.