- ♪
- All right.
"Raindrops and drop tops."
- Terrence Durell, or T, as I like to call him...
when he's not around,
is the best rap claims adjustor in the country.
Maybe in the world.
- Not now, Darren.
I'm talking out some of the best of them.
Puff Daddy and "You Can't Hold Me Down."
He makes a claim that he's young, rich,
and he's famous with money hanging out the anus.
Well I'm--I looked up his proctologist, and we didn't
find any--any money hanging out of his anus.
Not a coin, not a bill, not even a Mexican peso.
And everybody's had a Mexican peso up their ass. [laughing]
Am I right? Am I right about this?
Of course they have.
I've been to Tijuana.
Come on, follow me in.
Right here in my offices today--
Hello, gentlemen.
--we've got a big one.
We have been trying to get you in here
for quite some time now, Mr. Cent.
So, how are you?
- I'd be better if didn't have to be here.
- Do you know who this man is?
He has ended careers because of fraudulent claims like this.
Okay? DMX.
- X is not giving it to anyone.
- Career dead. In the gutter.
- Coolio. - "Gangsta's Paradise."
- Outta here.
Let's not talk about Tone-Loc.
"Funky Cold Medina."
- JANET: Was it every funky? - TERRENCE: Or cold?
- JANET: And a Medina?
- Actually, he was lukewarm Merlot.
- Merlot. Switched it around.
- Uh-huh. - Definitely a Merlot.
- You want to know the big one I got?
- What was the big one?
- Ja Rule. - Oh!
- Smoked him. - Holla!
- Where are you, buddy? - Smoked him.
- TERRENCE: That was me. All me.
- You didn't take Ja down. 50 did.
- I do kind of remember a little beef
that happened with those guys.
- We're not gonna claim that one anyway.
- Well not quite that.
But, you know--you know what I'm sayin'.
- Can we move on?
- All right, "Just a Little Bit."
You say, "All I need is a little bit".
- Just a little bit.
- Not a lot. Just a little.
But when you get to the other part,
"Don't try to [bleep] tonight.
Clothes off, face down, ass up." Come on!
That's not a little bit, Mr. Cent.
- So what, man?
You know what I'm sayin'.
- I don't.
- You say you want a little bit,
then when she wants to give you a little bit,
then you can enjoy it a lot.
- I know what you're sayin'. So, she changes the narrative.
I don't see her words in here. - Mr. Cent--
- Is this some kind of uh...duet?
Maybe you could have got Lil' Kim or somebody.
Nicki Minaj would like a lot, I'm sure.
- Sure. - I would imagine.
- Just let me put the tip in.
Just let me put the tip in. - Whoa, ho, ho.
- Oh, ho, ho. - This guy's good.
- He is. - Because I've done it.
- Hold on, that is copyright infringement right there.
That's copyright infringement.
- I'm going to have to run this upstairs.
- I gotta get out of here. - Hey, hey. Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. One more song.
This is something that's been troubling me for some time now.
You make a claim in "Candy Shop" where you go,
"I...have a magic stick.
I'm the love doctor."
Very quickly, this stick of magic...
where is it?
Do you have it on you? - [laughing]
Are you serious?
- You don't have to answer that. - Sure. Sure he does, Robert.
You're claiming, somehow, to be
both a magician and a doctor.
Is there some kind of degrees?
Or we can check some institutions where you studied?
- No, no, no. I'm, look--
- Is this a medical doctor or is it a PhD?
Is this some kind of thing where you've written a thesis?
- It's not real magic, and I'm not a real doctor.
- Oh! Boom!
[laughing]
Come on. That one.
- No, no, no.
Look, my [bleep] is the magic stick.
- Oh. Well, that kind of caught me off guard.
So, when you-- - Yeah, I don't--
- So you're saying you're a doctor?
So you're doing prescriptions at this place?
"Here, take a little [bleep]
and go--go to your local pharmacy,
get your [bleep] prescription filled up.
- No, I was--you ever met a woman and she's really uptight
and is in a complete better state
following some [bleep]?
- Ah.
So, okay--so that--that claim is valid.
- So that is a go--okay.
So, maybe you got us on that one.
But, go ahead, Robert. Get your guy out of here.
- JANET: Thanks, Bob.
- TERRENCE: Appreciate you for coming in.
Tell Ghost and Tommy I said hey.
- [laughing]
- I'll tell them for you. - It is the same guy, right?
- Yes, that's him. - It's the same with the guy?
- From the show that you love. Yeah, that's him.
- Good, good, good.