Listen up my liberty loving losers. It’s that time of year again. It’s time
for another yearly video where a British guy gets irrationally angry at an American who’s
been dead for 96 years. That’s right it’s Woodrow Wilson Hate Day 2020.
[Music: KNOWER - The Government Knows] I’ve now spoken for two years in a row
about how Woodrow Wilson is responsible for the second KKK, Hitler, Income Tax, Jim Crow laws,
instability in the middle east, American worldwide interventionism, and the pacific war, but I’d
like to demonstrate just how much more suffering and injustice that this man is responsible for.
We’re gonna get a little counterfactual on this month’s episode. Let’s say for example,
Woodrow Wilson doesn’t become President. Sound unlikely? Think again. Second place candidate,
Theodore Roosevelt, originally sought the Republican nomination,
but narrowly lost out. He then founded his own political party called the Progressive Party,
which then split the Republican vote and allowed Wilson to sail to victory with 42% of the vote.
So, let’s say Roosevelt doesn’t narrowly miss out and actually wins the Republican nomination.
With a unified vote, he wins the election in an electoral map that looks something like this.
What does Roosevelt do as President in his now unprecedented Third Term? Well, the Roosevelt’s
manifesto was quite radical for it’s time including things like an eight-hour workday,
social security, a national health service, limits on campaign contributions, recall petitions,
referendums, compensation for worker’s injury, and greater government transparency. Remember,
this is in the 1910s, when not even most of Europe had these things. Wilson thought the
U.S. was naturally superior to all other countries, but what Roosevelt might have
done is actually make that true. Roosevelt would also have not segregated the federal
government so perhaps the Civil Rights era would have come a bit quicker, who knows.
But the biggest difference in a Theodore Roosevelt presidency is his attitude to the
Great War. Roosevelt was a great supporter of joining the war, and probably would have
found any excuse to get congress to declare war. And that excuse would most likely be the
sinking of the Lusitania in 1915. So the US joins the war in 1915,
and with Russia still in the war at that point, Germany’s gonna be a bit overpowered. The end of
the war is hastened to early to mid 1917. Nice. An early finish to the war means the rise of
communism in Russia is quelled by the Russian Republican government,
so no civil war or forced collectivization killing hundreds of thousands of people, no
famines in Ukraine killing millions, and no mass purges by a psychopathic paranoid bank robber.
With no Soviet Union, there’s no great enemy for a certain German painter to rally against,
which might mean no Nazism, no invasion of Poland, no second European war, and no Holocaust. Plus
without Wilson souring relations with the East, Japan wouldn’t have been as antagonistic to the
USA like we discussed in last year’s video, so no pearl harbor and no pacific war, and no Japanese
war crimes, Kamikaze missions, Unit 731 or Bengal Famine. This war that didn’t happen wouldn’t end
in the creation of nuclear weapons followed by a massive arms race and stockpile of warheads that
still exist and could go off at any time of any day killing literally billions of people.
With no World War II or Soviet Union, there couldn’t be a Cold War, and with no Cold War
means no Berlin Wall, no Iron Curtain, and no need for every free country to put up with US military
bases. There would be no Korean war, meaning no North Korean concentration camps and nuclear
threats, and no Vietnam war causing inhumane death and destruction, no pointless interventionism and
overthrowing of dictators in South America, no selling missiles to Iran for cocaine money,
no Afghanistan war meaning no brave mujaheddin fighter can organize two hijacked planes to
kill 3000 people, meaning no Iraq War, no taking off your shoes when boarding a plane,
no PATRIOT act or government spying, and no Muslim scapegoat for right-wing morons to use to
push xenophobia and racism. No Cold War means no Chinese communist revolution, which has led to the
Ultra-Authoritarian PRC becoming the global manufacturer of everything right under our noses,
and forecast on becoming the most powerful country on Earth in the next half century.
So in 2059, when you’re cleaning the boots of the Chinese troops occupying your city,
you can thank Thomas WOODROW FUCKING WILSON for being such a deluded egomaniac that he sold you
and millions other people down the river so he could spend eight years in the White House
screening racist films and fantasizing about being the head of an American global Empire.