- Wait, relax it, relax it, and then slide,
we're sliding, there we go.
- Is that what's called a high five?
- After you. - All right.
- This is, whoa.
- All right, is this the seat?
- It's right here. - Where?
Oh!
- See, I wore protective gear.
- Yeah, you're smart.
- Discover three things you both love.
- Money. - Okay, well,
why do you love money?
- Because you can do things with it,
primarily survive. - Nah, you right, you right.
- You're wearing blue
and I love blue. - Okay.
- So I don't know if you love blue, too,
but... - I love blue.
- I like clothes, clothes are sick.
I mean, you cover your shame, you know,
some of us are, you know, are getting on
in age, some of us are, you know.
- What are you most grateful for in life?
- Joy.
I had an idyllic childhood and my mother,
she was the master of ceremonies for joy.
I feel like I can go anywhere and have a good time.
- Everyday, I get up and I say, "Dear Lord,
"can you find me a job today?"
- I wanna say I'm most grateful for my parents.
- I wish my kids would say that.
- My dad really is just, he's the one who's really
teaching me how to be a man,
how to really be a proper man.
In a age of boys, really, and, you know,
men abusing their powers.
Cause those aren't really men, they're boys.
So I really appreciate my dad
for being in my life and teaching me how to be a man.
- That's fantastic.
- Make up a secret handshake, hmm.
- I mean, what are we doin'? - Tap.
- Okay, what are we doin'?
Two taps? - That's it, two taps,
that's it.
- This, - Okay,
- This, - Okay, oh,
are we gonna wrestle?
- You know. - Oh this business.
- Then you gotta slide it out a little bit.
Wait, no, you gotta relax it and slide, yeah.
One, two, and then wait, relax it, relax it.
And then slide, we're sliding, there we go.
- Is that what's called a high five?
- What's one thing you would change
about how you were raised?
- The first thing that popped to my mind
is obviously, I wish my family had more money growing up
because we were, we struggled.
But if I grew up with money, I'd probably
be a lot more entitled than I am right now
and I would have a different mindset
and I wouldn't know what it's like
to actually work super hard for what you have.
And, I don't know, I don't think
I would change anything, honestly.
- That sounds like me.
Because of my childhood is where I am today,
- Exactly. - And who I am today.
- It's like a butterfly effect.
- Yeah, yeah. - If you change one
little thing, the outcome could change everything.
- I would change every aspect of my childhood.
I wouldn't be born at that time,
just before the second World War,
where everybody was terrified,
we're going to have a war in Germany.
And I would most definitely want parents
who were worth bothering with.
- The main topic of conversation about, you know,
just upbringing is whether you were born
and raised in a house of love versus survival, you know.
Survival being, you know, where your parents
are working two or three jobs just to keep
the lights on and all that.
If you've grown up in a household of survival,
when you finally see what love looks like,
it throws you off.
You're like, "What is going on,
what are these people on about?"
- Yeah. - And you're like,
"Oh, people actually, they sit down to play Scrabble."
It's amazing what just an ounce of love
can do when it's allowed to sprout.
I've finally just gotten a glimpse of love
and I'm holding onto it and, if I ever have kids,
I definitely wanna raise them off of that example.
- Where you bullied or the bully?
- To be honest, I kinda was both the bully and the victim.
- I was both. - I was both.
- I would say both as well.
- It's really hard when you're bullied
to not become the bully cause you,
for me anyway, I saw the bully as having power,
so I thought, oh I want some of that.
- I was a bully in regard that I didn't really
understand my own emotions, I didn't know
how to interact with them.
There was a lot of times where I just
didn't really know how to communicate with folks
and communicate with kids my age,
so I would just talk shitty to them.
- I was kind of an obnoxious kid,
but I was also insecure.
Kids would try to fight me and stuff like that, you know.
- Would you recommend walking away?
- Yeah, you know, you should never get in a fight,
but sometimes you have to.
Sometimes people don't give you the option to walk away.
- They don't? - Aw, they really don't.
You could walk away, but people will follow you
and harass you. - Really?
- It doesn't end just walking away.
The whole walking away thing, I feel like
that's a older thing because you can't do that now.
- You can't? - You walk away
and then you go online and then they just,
everybody's harassing you online
and now it's a bigger deal because now
you seem like a scared cause you walked away,
cause you ran. - Okay, I didn't factor in
internet. - Yeah, with social media
and everything, bullying is so much worse now.
- I was always sort of a small-ish kid
and also I was always very feel-y.
People prey on that, they prey on that
and they use that and they turn it against you.
They weaponize your kindness.
It really wrecks your self image
when someone decides to completely...
- It would be much better if they kept
their fucking mouths closed.
- Absolutely, that's what I would tell them,
shut the fuck up.
- I was bullied once in my life.
We moved to an all-white neighborhood
when I was seven years old.
And I got chased home from school everyday
and when they caught me, they made a batter ram
out of my body, had me by the arms and legs,
and they smashed my face into a smoke bank.
It was icy, my face was cut,
and this little girl, she said,
"How long are you gonna do that to Henry?"
And one of the bullies said, "Until he turns white".
And since then.
I don't take no shit off of nobody.
- Man, that's crazy.
- In the fifties and sixties, women, especially,
were not allowed to be aggressive
or stand up for themselves, especially
in relationships. - Were you bullied by men?
- Yeah.
I still remember all of them.
- What would tell them? - Ex-husbands, yes.
I would tell them that I've moved on
and I've found men and women and people
that don't do that.
- I'm very happy that you've moved past that.
You're very strong for persevering through all that
and still coming over here in this time
and being positive about it.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I respect that.
- Thank you.
Ah!
- Have a ten second ball fight.
- Hey!
- Oh my god, I'm going down, help!
- Okay, we're done now, you're having
way too much fun!
- Hugs! - You're so sweet.
- You're amazing!
- Hi everyone, I'm Cassidy, the director
of Sit In Our Pit.
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