From the studio they could really use a new franchise,
now The Divergent crashed and burned onto TV.
Comes the reboot that asks...
What if we took the Power Rangers.
Seriously? Uh, oh.
If you love The Breakfast Club,
but wished they all turned into ninjas at the end.
Then this is the movie for you.
As these teenagers stuck in detention spend 90 minutes bonding with each other.
"I'm Zack, and I am a Power Ranger"
"Hi, Zack."
Followed by a generic 30-minute episode of the Power Rangers TV show.
Man, I wish they'd kept the focus off the robot battles and onto The Power Rangers family issues.
What's Trini gonna say to her parents?!
Is Zack's mom gonna be okay?
And what timeline am I living in where these are the questions I have about The Power Rangers?
Forget everything you know about Jason, Zack, Kimberley, Billy, and Trini.
Except their names.
Because these five teenagers have so much attitude.
You'll swear adults just pulled random edgy traits out of a hat.
Like... Death metal yoga lesbian.
Cliff diving cheerleaders sexter.
"Whoa."
Trailer park Asian wildcard hobo.
"Camping out on old trains, I see you too, homeboy."
Autistic black country music loving hacker?
"I love country music."
And the uh... Guy who doesn't want to play football.
"(trophy snaps)"
Why not go with that bully that looks like Ed Sheeran?
Or at least Jason's friend who jerked off a cow?
"I just milked her."
"Him."
Now that's tude.
Fan-favorite Zordon will return...
Thanks to half a day in a VO booth with Bryan Cranston.
"You need me."
He's here to do two things...
Dumb loads of exposition on the audience.
"Power Rangers were a legion of warriors sworn to protect life."
"You must become those warriors."
And...
Okay, he's only here to do one thing.
"She will create Goldar."
"A huge monster who will rip the crystal from the Earth."
"And all life on..."
Together The Rangers will battle Rita Repulsa.
A fresh new take on Austin Power's Goldmember.
"Gold."
"I need gold."
"I'm interested in gold."
"I love gold."
She's got a plan to destroy the world.
And it all centers around the most blatant product placement in movie history.
"It's a Krispy Kreme."
"(whispers) Krispy Kreme?"
"Krispy Kreme? This is a special place?"
"We gotta go to Krispy Kreme."
"Krispy Kreme!"
"We haven't found Krispy Kreme yet."
"You circle the Krispy Kreme and make sure it's safe."
Hmmmm... I could really go for some dunkin' right now.
"(Goldar crushes roof)"
So gear up for a movie that's more than a remake of a kids show.
Because buried under its many cheesy moments.
"It's just me and my mom."
"My mom is the best!"
Cheesy looking Zords.
And cheesy message about how the real Power Ranger was inside you all along.
"I knew it! We do get armor."
"You already have it inside you."
Lies a really good high school drama that's worth exploring in a sequel.
Maybe one about them rebuilding Angel Grove because they really messed that place up.
"(ground shaking)"
"(Zord crashes)"
"(explosing)"
"(cheering and applauding)"
Why are you cheering? Your town is in ruins!
Hey look it's the White Power Ranger! Wait...
White Power Ranger?
That don't sound right.