“Are you a multitasker who can balance multiple projects?"
“To set you up for success, we have a dedicated mentor.”
What does that mean?
That's a boss. You're going to have a boss at this job.
“Ongoing training and development opportunities for even the most
insatiable learner.”
They will give you a sleeping bag and you can stay under your desk
as many nights out of the month as you want to.
“Maintain a rhythm of daily check-ins.”
You will be micromanaged.
“Let me check in. How are you doing?
Check in with you. You O.K.?
Just checking in.”
“Balance work and personal time like a boss.”
Like a boss, but not a boss, because you will not be in charge.
“Develop schedules in a medium that makes
the most sense for the team.”
I would like to do it in a pool.
That’s the medium I would choose.
“An agile, fast paced environment means plenty of opportunities to progress.”
Or to fail miserably.
“What are you waiting for?”
A company that understands how people actually work.