NOW, WHILE WE STILL DON'T KNOW THE EXTENT OF RUSSIAN MEDDLING
IN THE 2016 ELECTION, IT SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR WHAT THEY WERE
AFTER-- FOR AMERICA TO LIFT OUR MASSIVE ECONOMIC SANCTIONS
AGAINST THEM.
CLEARLY, THE SANCTIONS ARE WORKING --
ESPECIALLY IN THE CLOTHING INDUSTRY.
EVEN THE RICHEST MAN IN RUSSIA CAN'T FIND A SHIRT.
REMEMBER, IT WAS PROMISING THE RUSSIANS HE'D END THE SANCTIONS,
THEN LYING ABOUT IT, THAT BROUGHT DOWN FORMER NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISOR AND SUPREME ALLIED COMMANDER OF POUTY-TOWN
MICHAEL FLYNN.
( LAUGHTER ) AND, NOW, THANKS TO AN ANONYMOUS
WHISTLEBLOWER, WE KNOW THAT, DURING THE TRANSITION, FLYNN
TOLD A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE THAT THE RUSSIA SANCTIONS WOULD BE
"RIPPED UP."
SO THEY COULD GO AHEAD WITH THEIR SECRET BUSINESS DEAL-- A
JOINT PROJECT TO BUILD NUCLEAR REACTORS IN THE ARAB WORLD."
WITH?
ANY GUESSES?
IT RHYMES WITH RUSSIA.
IT'S RUSSIA.
( LAUGHTER ) COULD HAVE BEEN PRUSSIA.
( LAUGHTER ) IN FACT, FLYNN TEXTED HIS
BUSINESS PARTNER "THAT THE PLAN WAS "GOOD TO GO."
AND IF ALL THAT WASN'T BALLSY ENOUGH, FLYNN SENT THE TEXT
WHILE HE WAS ON THE DAIS, DURING TRUMP'S INAUGURAL ADDRESS!
HE WAS MAKING SECRET RUSSIA PLANS WHILE TRUMP WAS BEING
SWORN IN!
THAT'S LIKE INTERRUPTING YOUR WEDDING TO TEXT YOUR MISTRESS.
"YEAH, I DO-- HOLD ON.
YOU UP?" I'M SORRY, WHERE WERE WE?
( LAUGHTER ) ONE OF THESE TEXTS WAS
APPARENTLY SENT SOMEWHERE AROUND 12:11.
THIS IS TRUE -- LET'S SEE WHAT TRUMP WAS SAYING
WHILE FLYNN WAS THUMB-TYPING HIS DEAL WITH RUSSIA.
>> EVERY DECISION ON TRADE, ON TAXES, ON IMMIGRATION, ON
FOREIGN AFFAIRS, WILL BE MADE TO BENEFIT AMERICAN WORKERS AND
AMERICAN FAMILIES.
>> STEPHEN: "SPECIFICALLY, IT'LL BENEFIT MIKE FLYNN, AND MIKE
FLYNN'S FAMILY.
RIGHT, MIKE?
MIKE, WHO ARE YOU TEXTING WHILE I'M TALKING?
OH, THE GUYS WHO GAVE ME THE ELECTION?
SAY HI."
NOW, WHILE THERE'S A LOT OF CRAZY NEWS IN NATIONAL POLITICS,
LET'S NOT FORGET THAT'S THERE'S ALSO SOME INSANE STUFF GOING ON
AT THE LOCAL LEVEL.
THIS WEEK, IN PENNSYLVANIA, SOMETHING STRANGE HAPPENED
DURING WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A RUN-OF-THE-MILL COMMITTEE
MEETING ON LAND USE.
>> THERE IS A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS, GUYS.
WE DON'T HAVE TO PROCEED ON THIS ONE.
I HEAR YOU, I UNDERSTAND THERE'S SOME HARD FEELINGS.
( CROSSTALK ) >> REPRESENTATIVE BRADFORD,
LOOK, I'M A HETEROSEXUAL.
I HAVE A WIFE, I LOVE MY WIFE, I DON'T LIKE MEN, AS YOU MIGHT.
BUT STOP TOUCHING ME ALL THE TIME.
IT'S LIKE, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.
LIKE, IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH SOMEBODY, YOU HAVE PEOPLE ON
YOUR SIDE OF THE AISLE THAT MIGHT LIKE IT.
I DON'T.
>> Stephen: WOW.
I WOULD HATE TO BE THAT GUY'S TAILOR.
"LOOK, I'M FLATTERED, BUT I DON'T NEED A ZIPPER FOR YOUR
EASY ACCESS TO MY BATHING SUIT AREAS.
I'M A STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUAL MAN MALE, WHO LIKES ALL THE LADY
PARTS.
I CAN NAME THEM."
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, WHO'S THE GUY WITH THE
IRRESISTIBLY SEXY SLEEVE?
IT'S STATE REPRESENTATIVE DARYL METCALFE, A STAUNCH OPPONENT OF
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE WHO HAS SAID HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN CIVIL
RIGHTS PROTECTIONS BASED ON SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
AND NO SURPRISE.
AFTER GETTING TO SECOND BASE WITH DARYL'S ARM, HIS HANDSY
COLLEAGUE REVEALED HIS GAY AGENDA.
>> I THINK WE'D BE WISE TO KEEP TO THE TOPIC OF, AS IT TURNS
OUT, LANDLOCKED EASEMENTS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT
"LANDLOCKED EASEMENTS" MEANS: THE NON-POSSESSORY RIGHT TO USE
AND/OR ENTER ONTO A PARCEL OF LAND WITHOUT PUBLIC ROAD ACCESS.
BUT IN A SUPER GAY WAY.
( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
SARAH PAULSON IS HERE.
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, I INTRODUCE YOU TO AN ORDINARY AMERICAN
HERO.
STICK AROUND!