So, “Morbius” is finally coming out, after I’ve
lost count how many delays and… it’s not really worth the wait.
I’m going to preface this review by saying: I don’t think “Morbius” is entirely unwatchable.
The early reviews and rumors have been really negative, to the point that might make you think
this is one of the worst things ever made - it’s not, it’s just a painfully average early 2000s
level comic book movie. And I actually think there are going to be people who have fun with this.
That being said, this movie is a hot mess.
Which is unfortunate, because this movie had a lot of potential from the perspective
of the story and the characters, the cast is obviously great… Let me explain what’s going on.
So Jared Leto plays Dr. Michael Morbius - a brilliant scientist with a rare,
genetic blood disease that he has been on a mission to cure his whole life.
He arrives at a solution with the help of some vampire bats,
but there is a major side effect: this cure essentially turns him into a vampire.
A bonus if you ask me, but I guess certain aspects of this condition are frowned upon.
The movie is yet another origins story, which is something that can be done well, especially
when dealing with darker themes, and “Morbius” does have potential when it comes to the setup.
Unfortunately, as we get further into the movie,
things start falling apart pretty quickly, and when it gets bad - it’s really bad.
There is a significant amount of awful dialogue that’s so terrible it’s actually funny,
there is some impressively bad CGI that looks cartoonish, the editing often makes
no sense because the movie just jumps from scene to scene in a way that feels jarring.
And I’m not expecting “Morbius” to be a poetic cinema masterpiece,
but there needs to be a flow to the storytelling, which was mostly missing.
There were points at which I felt like they
cut out entire scenes because things just felt disconnected.
They were simply hitting plot points without consideration for
transitioning from one scene or idea to another.
And since we’re on the topic of cutting things out, I can confirm that the rumors are true:
the Spider Man tie-ins that you saw in the trailers are not in the actual movie.
So, if this is something you’re looking forward to seeing here - just forget about it.
Michael Keaton? He’s there probably for less than a minute, he is an afterthought.
The trailers in general are pretty misleading,
not just when it comes to the content but also even when it comes to the tone because
“Morbius” takes itself a lot more seriously than you might think based on those trailers.
Now, if you know my taste, you know that I don’t have a problem with movies taking themselves
seriously - for the most part I welcome it. However, when you combine bad dialogue,
questionable editing, and a dead-serious tone - the result isn't exactly great.
You could say that, for the most part, “Morbius” is carried by the cast, but they also don’t have
that much to work with here. Jared Leto as Michael Morbius definitely works, I actually liked him in
the role. I wish his monster face didn’t look like a mix between Gabriel from “Malignant”
and Bagul from “Sinister”, but his vampire look is mostly consistent with the comics,
and if it was a little less cartoony it would have actually been pretty great.
Matt Smith as Milo also makes sense,
but once again his villain look was way too CGI for my taste.
Prosthetics and practical effects, when done well,
always give the visuals a level of realism, which was really missing for me here.
It’s 100% VFX, and it shows.
Maybe it’s not a negative for some people, maybe you don’t care, but for me,
if I’m looking at a character and I can easily tell this is VFX - it takes me out of the movie.
As for the rest - Jared Harris is criminally underused,
Adria Arjona plays a love interest and concerned fellow scientist who doesn’t even feel like a real
character, and Michael Keaton, as I already mentioned, is essentially not in the movie.
Furthermore, there are two things I strongly dislike in films:
characters coming up with skills just because the plot needs them
at the moment and shameless sequel hooks. “Morbius” has both. First of all, Michael
has an ability or talent to solve every problem, right when the need arises. They’re fun skills,
he actually has some really cool abilities, but they just happen and there is never any concern
about whether or not he’s going to be able to deal with his problems. There is zero tension.
When it comes to sequel hooks - it’s not just the story and the ending itself,
it’s also the not one, but two mid-credits scenes.
Yes, two. You probably already know what’s in them though,
because the director spoiled them last week for some reason.
I am sad that I didn’t love “Morbius”, that it wasn’t a better movie.
I’m someone who loves good vampire stories, and I’m a big fan of anti-heroes.
I don’t get excited about comic book movies that often anymore, but these two elements
really had me looking forward to “Morbius” and it just did not deliver.
This is a movie that had so much potential,
but didn’t make use of its great cast, its thematic potential, its horror potential,
or its amazing possibility for a great on-screen friends-to-enemies dynamic.
It’s a 4 out of 10 for me, and I unfortunately cannot recommend it.
There are much better bat-related movies out there right now.
"I... am... Venom."
"I'm just kidding, it's Dr. Michael Morbius at your ser..."
"I'm vengeance."