Object to all of the animals in captivity.
Hi, how are you?
Good. How are you?
We're protesting the use of animals in circuses here.
So, I hope you guys don't plan on going to any animal circuses.
No, I don't like the circus. It stinks.
Would you consider yourself
the Black Panthers of animal protesting?
You know what I'm saying?
I would say it's the civil- rights movement for animals.
The civil-rights movement for animals?
Yes, I think Martin Luther King was an inspiration,
and if we could be the Martin Luther King for animals,
why not, you know?
What?!
If you could be reincarnated as any animal,
what would you be?
I'd probably choose the wolf.
Well, if you were a wolf, you would be eating sheep.
No, I'd probably make friends with the baby lambs.
So, you're saying you would be, like, a vegan wolf?
I'd probably be a vegan wolf, yeah.
All right.
You ought to try that good vegan diet.
Yeah?
Yeah, the ladies will notice a difference
without you pointing it out. I swear to you.
My performance is top-notch.
Oh, yeah? Well, imagine taking it to even the next level.
There's not many women that can handle that.
I eat absolutely no animal products.
Animals think other animals are delicious,
so why shouldn't I think that
You know, pigs are smarter than dogs.
That's why they taste great -- 'cause they got a better diet.
They taste
Is a palate more important
than the life of a sentient being that's born?
Yes. Yes.
Well, then, you're not someone
I would ever ask to have as a friend.
And I probably wouldn't want to spend time with you, either,
'cause you'd be like, "Why are you eating that?"
You'd keep saying stuff like --
No, I live with two meat-eaters my entire last four years,
and you can call any one of them.
I never questioned what they did.
I have respect for people.
Wait. You have roommates?
So, you don't think there's a couple elephants that,
despite the abuse, they get out there, they see the people,
like, "It's my time to shine"?
Absolutely not.
You know what?
[ Laughter ]
If you could come back as an animal, what would you be?
I used to want to be a dolphin, but you know,
I don't know if you're aware of the Taiji Cove.
No.
You guys need to see the documentary "The Cove."
I haven't even watched "Game of Thrones" yet.
I can't get into dolphin documentaries.
Dolphins rape sometimes. Have you googled that?
Yeah, I have, actually.
You're trying to protect the dolphins?
Trying to protect the dolphins, yeah.
Yeah, you got to get your morals together, man.
Why? Why?
You single now?
I am not single.
I actually date the elephant here.
Yeah.
Do you all ever do furry stuff with that costume,
or would that be disrespectful?
[ Laughs ] That's a little weird.
Elephants are cool, but not in the bedroom.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you want an elephant in the streets,
and a coyote in the sheets.
Would you eat a plate of bacon for $10 million?
No.
What?!
Somebody offered you $10 million, would you eat eggs?
No, I wouldn't eat eggs for $10 million.
You wouldn't eat eggs for $10 million?
I wouldn't eat eggs for $10 million, no.
I don't believe you.
A McNugget on a private jet for $25 million?
No, no.
$12 million -- one piece of Whole Foods Chilean sea bass.
No.
Would you eat a piece of chicken for $50 million?
I think I would have to be presented with the money
and know that that was real.
[ Bell dings ]
HANNIBAL: Yeah, so, it was a good day.
I learned a lot about the abuse of animals in the circus.
I learned a lot about vegan culture.
Very informative day.
[ Laughter, cheers and applause ]