wow wow
yes it's true as a baby jimmy was regularly fed coffee in his bottle uh dave you're next
i once spent an entire christmas locked in a bank
david's jean okay by an entire christmas what are we talking all 12 days i'm assuming
christmas eve until about seven o'clock on boxing night unboxing night yes when the bank opened for
the usual boxing day evening somebody came to let me out uh which bank it was a merchant bank
i was working as a security guard and i'd elected due to personal trauma that i'd
spend my christmas working overtime guarding hill samuel in victoria and then they forgot about you
no because there's a rush on at christmas i never got relieved on christmas morning
it's my one christmas treat
it was a christmas after john lennon got assassinated and you had to go into hiding no
i don't i don't ever remember you being being implicated
you see i was living with a girl in streatham yeah yoko
no and we split up because she was seeing somebody else john lennon
so i needed to get a job and you know i i wanted to be a bit of a martyr so i said i'd work
the chris christmas shift as a security guard like many of the great martyrs through history
dave asked me this yes certainly you went through a period where you were so lonely
and down that you didn't have any family of any kind whatsoever he was saying come home
for christmas and come and you know nobody they laughed themselves silly when i phoned him up
on christmas day and told him where i was how did you do that there was a phone in the bank
what sort of bank is this with a phone in it
i honestly i've tried to phone a bank over and over again
so there's a phone in the bank yes why did you only use it to phone your family and
not to phone someone who could have released you from the morning i kept falling it was affirming
croydon that employed me and i kept falling them and they said they had nobody to hold on
so i held on right through like four shifts and you accepted that i had no chance i was
locked in the bank so i couldn't get out when you're regardless they don't lock you in short
in the bank well they wouldn't give me the keys i was only 22. so that's how a merchant bank
ensures its security over christmas it locks a 22 year old in there it's all right if anyone breaks
in the 22 year old will handle it no but i had a phone you see i could what were you supposed to do
the burger's all coming you fit ring croydon they say we'll have someone there in the next 30 things
how did you actually celebrate christmas i mean what did you do to market i did before
i went to work i did take myself a small cape on i stuffed it little sausages and everything and i
put it by me you know away and i look forward to it and when i got back on boxing night
the cat had had me pumped i forgot to put it away the cat was wearing your cape
type of chicken oh sorry i didn't even have a christmas spinner the cat wasn't wearing the
apron he said the cat's there taking it over dude well he's got about to look after himself
he clearly said i came back and the cat had me kpop
so david what are you thinking there is only one person who can answer this question here
in this room so we're gonna have to turn to you jimmy i wouldn't thought there were many merchant
banks in victoria i don't really know much about banks in victoria if it was in jersey i'm your man
so is it the truth i think true do you i like the detail the cat the yeah the cape on
i love the story i'd like to buy the rights we think it's true
dave truth or lie sadly it's true
you