-Aah! Wait!
[ Laughter ]
-Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
[ Audience gasps ] Okay. All right.
[ Audience laughs ]
The audience is very -- The audience is confusing me now
because they just had like 10 different reactions.
One was [Gasps]. Then it was, "Aww!"
And then it was like, "Huh?" And then they laughed.
-Let me touch it.
[ Laughter ]
-What is that again? [ Laughs ]
-I'm touching it.
-Okay, you're touching it right now.
-It's fluffy.
-Mm-hmm. -Or is it?
[ Laughter ]
-Wait. That's not -- "It's fluffy, or is it?"
Uh-huh. What is in your box?
-Not a penis.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
Hey! Hey!
-♪ Box of Lies, Box of Lies ♪
♪ Box of Lies, Box of Lies ♪
♪ Box of Lies ♪
♪♪
-Okay. All right. -He really wants to quit.
-No! Are you kidding me? -What a sore loser.
-Oh, I am so -- I am ready to win.
All right, so, what is it? What is it?
Tell me what it is.
-I don't know what it is. -All right.
You're gonna have to make up something because
I have to guess if you're lying or telling the truth.
[ Laughter ]
-I don't know what it is.
-I can wait. You can think of a name for it.
And I can tell you if I think -- You have to know what it is.
-Uh, pussy balls.
[ Laughter ]
Are they pussy balls or not?
-Now, pussy balls...
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter continues ]
I am going to say -- I'm saying you tell the truth.
Let me see.
[ Laughter ]
Hey!
♪♪
-Number one. Okay.
-Big shock. -Yeah, yeah.
Oh, look at this.
Not that heavy, so that's a first hint.
All right. Here we go. Yeah.
-[ Gasps ]
-[ Chuckles ] -Oh, my God.
-Uh-huh.
[ Laughter ]
-Where do I put it?
-You can put it here in the front.
I won't see it. Are you going to lie to me...
or are you going to tell the truth, Taylor Swift?
-I don't have to lie because I'm very excited to tell you
that it is a "Wizards of Waverly Place" DVD
with a weird ribbon around it that says, "I see corn."
-So specific.
It sounds like something our writers would do,
but then you're delivering it very innocent.
Which makes me think that you're maybe...making it up.
Now you're laughing that I said you're making it up.
-I could be doing a double bluff.
-All right. I'm just going to say it.
Taylor Swift, you are...
telling the truth.
-I lied!
-[ Buzzer ] -Aah!
Come on!
Oh, my God.
-I lied. -You lied.
You did it. -I lied.
-Oh, my God.
-I have a binoculars set with corn stuffed in it.
It's very upsetting. It has baby corn at the top.
It's bad. -I'm sorry.
-You should have known I was lying
'cause I will do anything to bring up Selena Gomez.
Anything!
-I can tell you were struggling to put that down.
It must be very -- -Did you see?
-...heavy.
-Do you see the veins popping out?
-You were like... -I was like, "Ah!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Clears throat ] Mm!
-Okay. -[ Snorts ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Clears throat ]
Would you like to know what's in my box?
[ Laughter ]
-What is in your box?
♪♪
-[ Laughs ]
♪♪
-E.T.
phones home...
in a sleeping bag...
[ Laughter ]
...with crowns on it.
[ Applause ]
[ Laughter ]
-E.T. is in the process of phoning home
while he's in a sleeping bag with...crowns?
-Crowns on it.
-With crowns on it.
-Mm.
-E.T. phoning home
in a sleeping bag
with crowns on it.
You lie.
[ Laughter ]
[ Bell dinging ] No!
The acting starts now. -It's a toaster oven.
[ Laughing ] Oh, yeah.
-Okay. -Okay.
-Alright. -So...
Inside my box...
um...
is a very curious thing.
[ Laughter ]
Which is not the first time I've said that.
-Oh, yeah? Wait, wait, wait.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, I'm just kidding. God!
Okay, anyway...
-It looks like we're looking in the mirror.
-I know.
Ohh, God!
[ Laughter ]
[ Both sobbing ]
-My face! My face! -When did I get so ugly?!
-My beautiful face!
-Okay.
It is, um... [ Chuckles ]
...a Rubik's cube inside Jell-O.
[ Laughter ]
-Ehh...
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
[ Laughter continues ]
You lie.
-[ Laughs ]
I tell the truth.
-Aah!
Oh, very light. Very light.
-Oh! Ugh.
[ Laughter ]
-You went to my acting school. Yeah.
-No, I'm... -How to carry heavy things.
-I could be pretending it to be [straining] so light!
Ugh!
-Oh, I can even hear clunking around.
-Oh, shush!
-[ Laughing ]
"Shush."
-Oh, God. Okay.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-Just be cool.
Just tell me what's in there.
[ Laughter ]
-A condom.
[ Laughter ]
[ Rapid drumming ]
-Stop it, stop it, stop it.
-What?
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
-You tell the truth?
[ Laughter ]
-Aah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Here you go, man. -Opening the box.
-Yeah.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Laughter continues ]
-Okay.
[ Laughter ]
It's a Slinky with...
[ chuckling ] some kind of phallic symbol on it.
It's like -- It's -- It's actually a nose.
On a Slinky.
-It's a nose on a Slinky.
-So, I guess they're trying to say it's a Pinocchio S-Slinky.
It's a lying Slinky.
I've got a lying Slinky.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-You're saying there's a nose on a Slinky.
-I'm saying, I wasn't sure it was a nose at first,
but, no, it's a nose on a Slinky.
-Could be making this up. I have no idea.
Gosh! I'm gonna say...
You lie!
-It's a bonsai tree full of gnomes.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-[ Humming "Also Sprach Zarathustra" ]
♪♪
-In my box...
[ Laughter ]
[ Clears throat ]
...is a pumpkin...
with spaghetti...in it.
[ Laughter ]
-What?!
[ Laughing ]
Why are you laughing?
Pumpkin with "pasketti" in it?
[ Laughter ]
-Spaghetti.
-Yeah, I wanted to see if you were acting.
[ Laughter ]
-You lie.
-[ Laughing ] No! It's true!
-What?! [ Buzzer ]
Let's see it.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Hm. -Mm-hmm!
-Oh, cool!
[ Laughter ]
That's interesting.
-Okay, so the audience has now seen it.
[ Laughter ]
-It's cute. -Yep?
Now, here you go, this is where you make the choice, yeah.
[ Clears throat ]
-It's a, um...
it's an interesting thing.
[ Laughter ]
So, um... -What?!
"It's an interesting thing"?
-So, it actually happens to be, um...
It's a record player with --
with a pizza on it.
[ Laughter ]
-And the pizza is, um...
-Spinning? -...spinning.
[ Laughter ]
-You pulled a record player out of the box...
with -- with a pizza that's on it, and it's spinning?
-And it's, um...
it's a -- it's a pepperoni pizza.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my goodness!
You lie!
-You suck!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Good one!
Wow!
[ Vocalizing ]
All right.
[ Laughter ]
-You're acting like you've seen this before.
[ Laughs ]
There's no way this is real.
Okay. Yeah.
What is, uh...
What is...
What is in your box?
-I have a xylophone... -Hm.
-...that's covered in, uh...
Australian dogs.
[ Laughter ]
-Eh, what now?
You have a xylophone... -A xylophone.
-Uh-huh, that's covered in Australian dogs?
-Yeah.
-Now, what is that -- What would that be?
-Well, they're originally actually Portuguese.
[ Laughter ]
-But for some reason... -Like a sheep dog?
-Yeah, yeah. For some reason, they call them
Australian here.
-Australian dogs. -Here.
Australian sheep dogs.
-Now, here's what's funny about this.
We're having fun, right?
-Yeah.
We're having fun. -Here's the fun thing.
-We're having a barrel of fun. -If it was a xylophone...
-Mm-hmm. -...I would've heard it.
[ Laughter ]
Or maybe you're acting right now.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, man! Oh, man!
Oh, you're a tricky, tricky bastard.
-And you would've heard the dogs, too.
God [bleep]
[ Laughter ]
-I'm gonna say...
you lie!
[ Laughter ]
You're kidding me!
-Oh, God.
-Oh, my goodness.
[ Gasping ]
[ Laughter ]
-Mm-hmm.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I'd say it's --
It's funny.
-Mm-hmm. -It's funny.
It's funny that you're here. -Mm-hmm.
-'Cause it's a paperweight.
[ Laughter ]
It's got a head on it.
[ Laughter ]
It's like a very weighted, weight.
Brass, I'd say,
a mixture of metals.
-Mm-hmm. -In the brass variety.
-Unlacquered brass or --
-Yeah, it's a matte. -A matte brass?
-Two T's and an E, matte finish. -Uh-huh.
[ Laughter ]
-And then, there's a Deadpool head on top.
[ Laughter ]
-Describe the shape of the head.
-Ooh.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-Cylinder --
Cylinder -- Like a cylinder head.
-Like, with the mask or without the mask?
-Oh, with the mask.
-Uh-huh. -Yeah, mask head.
-And, like, describe the back of the head.
-It's red and black?
-You're lying.
-What? -Yeah.
He's got a little, "Vloop!"
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Wait, is that The Rock?
-Yes, it's The Rock. -Is that The Rock --
-The Rock on a rock.
-Wait, you've got to give that to me.
My husband's working with him right now.
This will be his, like, really creepy start gift.
[ Laughter ] I'm going to give it to him
and tell him that Ryan hand-painted it for him.
[ Laughter ]