Hi, my name is Paul Friedman. I founded The Marriage Foundation and then
Premarital Academy. The foundation was started in order to help couples who are
already married and having difficulty and then it's sort of a dream of mine to get
this same information out to couples who are just starting out so that instead of
having to regroup and begin their marriage again they could start out on
the right foot and do everything right so they have a very successful marriage
and frankly, zero chance of failure and that may sound crazy in this world of a
50% divorce rate but I want to assure you, look I was a professional
divorce mediator before I became a marriage saver. And so, I want to assure
you that it's not only possible to have a great marriage but honestly, unless you
screw things up you're gonna have a fantastic marriage but I gotta take it a
step further. You need to learn more than you already know about yourself, about
your spouse as people, as individuals and in general terms. Not like, do they have a
phobia here or like or dislike there, how are we compatible but
you have to understand how human beings based on their gender operate and why.
You need to understand your spouse almost clinically so you know what turns
them on and what shuts them down and you also have to know about yourself.
You have to be able to control your mind. We go into marriage, we go into
most of life basically, victims of our habits, emotions, and instincts and we
need to turn that around. We need to learn how to control ourselves
so there's a best question because that's the topic of this video is what's
the best questions to ask in premarital counseling. Well, the best question really
isn't about you as an individual or about them as an individual although you
do need to ask certain questions but it's more of where do I learn, how do I
start grasping this knowledge that Paul's talking about so that we can have
a phenomenal marriage. Look, we all know about the carrot and the stick
the punishment comes when you do things wrong that's the stick. The carrot is the
reward that saying goes back to how they used to get mules to move.
You offer them a carrot and he moves forward. Some people used to dangle a carrot in
front of them and use a stick give them a little swat on the butt. So obviously, we
don't want to treat ourselves that way with carrot and stick what we want to do
is live our lives in the most productive way that creates the most happiness same
with the marriage so you got to know how, you got to know what's going on so
really the best question is, where do I get the best course for premarital? And
that is at the Premarital Academy. Now look, this was not intended to be a sales
pitch but the truth is that just asking one or two questions isn't going to do it.
Now there are some questions that you do need
to know about your spouse and look that's really why you chose this video so I'm
going to tell you a few things. Number one, I'm going to tell you that people
are amazing when it comes to hiding things they don't want you to know about.
Amazing! I mean we get stories at The Marriage Foundation about couples who
have been together for 10 to 15 years who didn't know things that are really
important and I'm not going to get into the sort of details that's not
important. What is important is for you to have a
system that's sort of like unwraps the person you're contemplating marriage
with. You want to know them and you can't be shy about it. I even recommend that
people hire a private detective to just make sure there isn't something hidden
that you need to know. People end up marrying pedophiles, drug addicts
alcoholics, gambling addicts, porn people who are really into porn, people who are
philanderers who can't take their eyes off of other women. They marry women who
just can't get past previous boyfriends and hook up with them later. You'd really
need to do your homework because when you get married you're marrying for life
and you're marrying in order to be happier than you are today and the truth
is that marriage will make you happier than you've ever been and that happiness
can grow exponentially every single day literally, but it also can get derailed
if you marry the wrong person. The answer to your question is get the
course the premarital course. If you know someone who's getting married get them
the course as a gift. It's inexpensive, I made it, we
made it intentionally inexpensive so people will utilize it because it'll
change your life which changes the world so that's about it. My blessings to you
write into our counselors if you have any questions, look at some of the videos
that we have with The Marriage Foundation so that you can see what
people go through because that's what we're responding to our situations that
people have become familiar with marriage. Learn about marriage. You don't
know anything about marriage when you first get married and most people get
married, stay married for 40 years -- they still don't know anything about marriage.
You'd be different. You will learn how to do it and it's gonna be amazing for you.
All right, that's it blessings. Like the video, share the video, let everyone know.
God bless you.