- If you feel them pulling away or pushing away,
and what you naturally do is you lean in
or you try to get them to come back to you,
that energy is what is actually propelling them
to do it quicker.
It is repelling them from you.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you exactly what to do
if they're pulling away from you
so that you can maintain in your own energy,
you don't feel dependent on them,
and how that also signifies more attraction
than you can possibly imagine.
Now, first off, I understand. I get it.
If someone pulls away or if someone's walking away,
there's a natural inclination to chase them.
In my own life, I've had to learn this the hard way.
The hard way was they walk away, they don't choose you,
and you then decide there's something wrong with me.
I must lean in.
I must get them to understand my sense of self-worth.
I must show them how worthy I am.
I must show them that if I fix them,
no one else will do that,
and I will then be indispensable.
That's the belief.
But what that actually does is
it actually pushes them away even more.
Why? Because of this simple energy dynamic. All right?
People feel what you feel.
And when you think of someone,
even though you may not physically be around them,
you may feel this person pulling away from you
from 40 miles away, energetically.
They're not responding to your text message.
They're not getting back as quickly as they used to.
And you may then say, you may be thinking about them.
Why are they doing that?
Why are they being that way?
Why don't they don't understand how worthy I am,
or how valuable I am?
Or why aren't they thinking about me?
And then you start sending them energy.
So energetically, you're then sending them energy.
And then they feel that and they feel kind of suffocated.
And they feel suffocated.
So then they want more space.
And then they want more space.
So what do you do again?
You double down again.
Let me get even energetically closer.
Let me call them three more times.
Let me respond to even more texts.
Let me do all of this.
And then what happens is they feel uncomfortable.
Like, imagine I'm right here.
The whole time we're doing this video, I'm pretty close.
You might be feeling like,
"Dude, just back up a little bit."
And if I were to back up a little bit like this
and do the video like this,
you might be like,
"Aaron, come a little bit closer.
I want you a little bit closer."
Or maybe not,
and I just make the video
from this part of the frame, right?
But that's the difference.
That's what you're energetically doing when you go
and you have somebody that might be pulling away
a little bit.
When they pull away,
they're saying, "I want some space."
That's it.
They want some space so that they can be in their own energy
and then they may find that they actually miss you.
So many times what I've done is I bring the energy
back to myself and past relationships,
especially when I was in high school and stuff like that,
bring the energy back to myself, stop focusing on them.
And all of a sudden, they come back around.
They say, they start realizing.
There's more feelings there than they thought.
Or they start then realizing because it also signifies value
and self-respect
when you put the awareness back in yourself,
when you focus on your own life.
So energetically what happens is this.
Imagine this. Are you liking this video?
Do you like this video?
Do you like it?
I'm getting so close.
Come on. Don't you like it? Don't you like?
And you're like, "Dude, just back up," right?
And then I back up and you're like,
"Oh, I have more space now to appreciate you.
I'd actually like you to come a little bit more close."
And then here I am at a natural balance part of the frame.
This is a metaphor for how it works
in the dynamic of dating and the dynamic of relationship.
Realize the key to a relationship is not codependency.
And when you lean in and you're trying to fix
and you're trying to get someone else to come around,
a lot of times what that actually is at a deeper level, too,
it's trying to get somebody else to come around
so they can see your sense of self-worth.
They can validate.
They can approve of you.
They can see that you're worthy.
What ends up happening though is
the opposite effect happens.
It's the opposite.
You think in your mind,
the belief is,
if I lean in,
if I try to control,
and they will then come around.
It works the opposite.
The degree to which you let go is
the degree to which you give them space
is the degree to which they are empowered
to figure it out themselves.
That's when they really come within their own power.
So understand that for this process, the key,
the mantra that you wanna remember is to just let go.
If they are pulling away, let them.
Once you let them pull away,
once you let them have space,
they may then start to realize in their own energy
that they have feelings for you,
that they come back.
And if they don't, guess what?
You've saved yourself time.
Because another aspect of this,
of somebody that might click on this video,
this might be kind of hard to hear.
Somebody that clicked on this video,
there could be some people that clicked on this video
that are choosing people that aren't choosing them.
Let me ask you that.
Are you choosing someone that's not choosing you?
Because if that's the case,
if someone is not choosing you and you are choosing them,
could it be that that dynamic feels very familiar
from childhood?
In childhood,
did you feel like maybe your parents weren't choosing you?
Maybe they had you
and then they weren't emotionally or physically there
for you in the way that you needed your needs met.
Then there's a belief that's created that says,
"I'm not good enough. People don't choose me."
And then it's like,
"I'm gonna fight to be worthy.
I'm gonna fight to be enough.
I'm gonna become a perfectionist," or whatever.
And then it's like, "I'm gonna prove."
I spent a lot of my life, like even on YouTube,
like wanting success just to prove to my dad I'm worthy.
Just prove to my dad I'm good enough.
"Yes, I didn't go down the route of law school
or going to college and graduating with some degree.
I did it my own way.
But look, I'm worthy, I'm successful.
Look, look."
When in fact,
I could just give myself permission at any moment
to feel that worthiness,
that self-respect for myself.
And the funny thing is,
is that as you give it to yourself,
other people feel that off of you,
it becomes very magnetic.
But understand, there may be a deeper core thing here.
And with that,
realize if your mom or your dad weren't or wasn't physically
or emotionally available when you were a kid.
I dunno how to say this, but it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.
They weren't physically or emotionally there.
It wasn't because you were inherently not worthy
that that happened.
That happened because they had their own stuff going on.
And what you can now do with this energy is
you can realize it wasn't your fault.
You can realize you have worthy and value
for simply being you.
You don't need their validation or approval
to meet your needs.
And you can begin to stop abandoning yourself.
A lot of times,
we're so afraid of other people abandoning us
that we're gonna fix them,
we're gonna get them to come around.
They're pulling away.
We want them to come back.
And really, it's just fighting to avoid abandonment,
when in fact you've already abandoned yourself.
So stop abandoning yourself
to get someone else to come around
and start instead choosing you.
This could mean choosing to walk away.
This could mean you choosing your own sense of self-worth.
You following your passion,
you being in your own energy dynamic.
Stop sending them energy.
You believe sending them energy,
one is gonna get them to come back.
If you could just send them
enough thoughts and feelings and emotions,
and they'll eventually come around.
Doesn't work that way,
'cause you're not giving them space.
They're feeling that nerve.
They feel what you feel.
When you bring the energy back to yourself,
it's a healthy dynamic.
It's not codependent.
And then they can actually have the space to appreciate you.
However, that may might still not be the answer.
Maybe the answer is to completely let it go,
because you realize they weren't choosing you.
And as you start choosing yourself,
you're then making space
for someone that can actually choose you.
You're making space for somebody that will choose you.
And as they choose you, guess what happens?
It's reaffirming the belief that you choose yourself.
You get in life a reflection
in your relationship of the energy work
you're doing with yourself.
So what I highly recommend you do is
if they're pulling away, let them.
Let them do it. Give them space.
Let them come to their own conclusions.
Empower them by letting them go
to come around if they're meant to.
And if they're not,
it's okay
because there's billions of people out there in the world
and the belief that they're meant for you
and they're the only one
that can possibly exist is a belief.
That's it. It's not true.
But you let them go.
You then are in your own power.
You're in your own energy.
It's way more magnetic.
It's a reflection of self-worth, of self-value.
And then as you feel that for yourself,
people feel what you feel.
So the answer,
get into that energy and understand you are enough.
You are worthy the way you are.
Your parents not being physically or emotionally available
when you're a kid,
it's not your fault.
And just in the same way,
if the person detaches from you,
it doesn't mean you're not worthy.
You don't have to fight for your worthiness.
All it means is they need space.
Give them space.
It does not mean anything to do with your worthiness.
And as you let go,
you'll find that sometimes things come back around,
sometimes they don't.
It's okay.
This is propelling you to go deeper within yourself
to let go of attachment,
to feel safe in your own body,
and to understand that as you feel more safe
and more self validated,
you walk away,
have the power to do so,
you are signaling to the universe
that you are ready for something that does choose you
because you choose yourself.
Now, if you wanna learn the most powerful technique
I've ever found for bringing the energy back to yourself,
literally people do this
and they claim that like it changes the energy dynamics
in their life,
how people treat them in public.
It's called the frame technique.
It's one of my most popular techniques I've ever shared.
It's right here. Check it out.
Watch how much it changes your life.
I was hyper attached to what people thought of me.
I was very sensitive to other people's energy.
I could pick up and know what other people were feeling.
And there was this desire that I had to please other people.
Some people call this a people pleaser.
And while there were certain-