- Mayonnaise is not as God intended.
Oh boo-boop.
(popping)
Boo-boop. Lady!
Hot set, hot set.
Welcome to My Drunk Kitchen.
You know, if you weren't so cute, I might get frustrated.
Wow, do I have great posture?
I don't like this cup, I want a different cup.
I actually made this using the power of glass.
I'm a glass act, what can I say?
(jazzy piano music)
Hey, everybody.
You may remember me from such films as last week,
but today isn't about that.
Today is about what? Mayonnaise.
That's right. Mayonnaise.
As in what is mayonnaise?
And other works like do I even want to know?
It's so gross, yeah.
But whether you like it or not,
today we're gonna be making mayonnaise,
while drinking vodka, which I think
is how we got here politically. (laughs)
(rimshot crashing)
In a small bowl, whisk together rice vinegar,
malt vinegar, salt, I have to tell you.
This is not what I thought was in mayonnaise.
Step one, in a small bowl, whisk together
rice vinegar, which is not present.
Oh, I see it, I found it, yay!
Rice vinegar, malt vinegar, rice vinegar, malt vinegar.
Let me try again.
The first. (groans)
Rice vinegar, malt vinegar, mustard, and garlic powder.
They all go in here.
(howling)
Oh, no. Wow.
Whoop. (gasps) Yes!
What is malt vinegar?
Vinegar that's been malted. (laughs)
That would be too easy.
Don't tell me because, guess what?
I don't actually want to know.
(muttering)
Garlic powder, brand spanking new mustard powder
that has to be opened, (grunts)
and salt powder.
Salt's not a powder.
What is salt? Crystals.
Whisk it all together or just shake what your momma gave ya.
Oh my God. What if I shake the bowl just by taking a risk?
Ah, why am I so good at this?
Wow, do I have great posture?
I told you I have great posture.
From there to--
(rimshot crashing)
- As if that's an insult.
Next step involves another object,
which is called, wait a minute.
How are you? You good?
I sure hope so.
So the next step involves a food processor.
Now I don't actually have what you would call
by design a food processor.
I have what I would call a blender.
I forgot that I meant to find the top
before starting to film this video.
Okay, I have found a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot
a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of dishtowels.
Oh, I did it, I found this.
Aw, wow, here you are.
Okay, so have you guys ever gone on a blender bender,
where you just totally prep all the smoothies you want
to have for the week because you're so organized
and you've frozen and you've cut your fruit.
Me neither. Charles!
Look, you can either participate
or occupy yourself elsewhere.
Which do you want to do?
I respect either choice. Okay.
Teenagers. Yo no se. (moans)
Next thing we need to add is two egg yolks.
(grunts)
And then we add them.
A shablam, or rather kershplop.
Okay, now we have that in there, everything is cooled,
that's the only, what?
Just vinegar and eggs?
That can't possibly be right.
Wait, is mayonnaise just vinegar and eggs?
My mouth is wet in like a gaggy way.
Are you kidding me?
Wait, what? Wait.
Wow. (blender running)
It sounds like an unhealthy vacuum.
There's a next step.
It says with the motor running,
slowly drizzle in vegetable oil in a thin, steady stream.
So it's just vinegar, egg yolk, and oil.
Even better.
(blender running)
So much.
Let's just let this nightmare end.
Oh my God, it's mayonnaise.
Holy, are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
It's mayonnaise.
(crying)
I knew I never liked it and now I know why.
Mayonnaise is not as God intended.
Me too.
This isn't just any mayonnaise everybody.
This is Japanese mayonnaise, and why am I making that?
Well, because I'm gonna make a fluffy pancake, bro, yeah.
Sike, this is a two-parter.
Hey, guys please click like and write a review
and subscribe and all the good things.
I have to film the second half of this video now.
So, Charles, stop eating the mayonnaise.
Thank you for being here this week.
I'll see you next week, when I make
a fluffy fucking pancake. Mwah.