﻿I Stopped Correcting Style Mistakes [0:00:00]
[Music] So, fifteen years ago, I was at the University
of Texas as a grad student getting my MBA. Now, one of the big draws in these top business
schools is that they have relationships with top consulting companies, top banking companies.
So, you’re there at these networking events and you’re hobnobbing with
people that are looking to hire you and start you off in the six-figure range.
Now, as a guy that had just transitioned out of the military not making a whole lot
with a family to support, I was very interested in these positions.
So, there I am at this informal networking event. Hosted in a nice room, we’ve all got drinks,
talking to a couple recruiters, me and a few other students and one of my fellow
students right in the middle of the conversation reaches over and says,
“Hey, you’re wearing that tie clip wrong.” And I adjust my tie clip right in front of everybody.
Now, if there was a video tape of this, you would notice I just would have said thanks
and continued on with the conversation. But, what I was thinking, yeah, thanks,
dickhead, for trying to make look like an idiot who doesn’t his head from his ass.
The reality is I wasn’t familiar with wearing suits. I’d had a few custom suits made over in
Hong Kong, so in general they looked good on me, but it was something I was not used
to wearing. So, I was going through learning the rules, trying to put things together.
And I didn’t appreciate that somebody was correcting me in front of people,
who were making decisions about is this the type of person that we want to hire,
that we can put in front of clients whether it’d be New York City or over in Mumbai
over in Europe, wherever they would send me to do the consulting work.
I felt that in a sense this guy tried to put somebody down, so that he would look
higher and have a better shot. Now, I’ll admit, I could be completely
wrong here. That guy may be had no intentions, he just simply wanted to help me out. But,
correcting somebody especially in front of others, others who are making a judgment
on that person is never a good thing to do. In fact, giving somebody unsolicited advice,
advice they don’t ask for and you simply feel that you need to give them is more serving to you
than it is to them in most circumstances. Now, I get it, if somebody’s got they fly open,
yeah, pull him to the side and tell him, so that he can correct the situation.
But, just because you’re an expert on style doesn’t give you the authority to go around
telling people how they should dress, how they should put their clothing together.
The reality is most men are not open to being corrected, even in private,
especially if they’re not asking for it. They either perceive that as not being important or
they’re like, hey, who is this guy and what is he trying to press his opinion his ideas on me?
So, you’ve probably heard the saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And
that is so true because throughout life, every – look around you, there are tons of teachers out
there. I’m not talking just humans, I’m talking just simply the weather can teach you something.
The bad things that happen in your life can teach you something. The good things that
happen in your life can teach you something. You’re running into a difficulty, boredom,
obstacles, these are all teachers. But, unless we’re ready to learn, we’re not going to and
we’re not going to be receptive to the message. I mean, gents, you not believe how many emails I
get from women asking me to talk to their husbands about style and image and presentations. Like,
literally, “Antonio, can I pay you to have consultation with him to help him see my point
of view? If you would just improve his image or his style, he would do so much better at
work. I would be so much happier because we would look good together. Can you change my husband?”
And the answer is, no, I can’t change your partner. I can’t change your boyfriend. Only
he can change himself. When you understand that human beings have to come around themselves to
see that this is a problem, to see that this is something and it’s so much more powerful.
Yes, there are probably one off examples of you being able to change somebody. Maybe kids
are a decent example. But, still when do kids really learn? When they realized for themselves
that, hey, if we do this, I’m going to be able to be better,
I’m going to be able to get value from this. And, there are ways to help people see the light,
but when it comes down to it, I prefer to work with and to focus my energy in on people that have
seen the value of what we’re putting out there. So, if you ever thought that Antonio is out there
correcting style mistakes that he sees in and around here in Wisconsin, which believe me,
there are tons. No, I don’t do any of that. In fact, I never bring it up and I get a little
embarrassed when people realized they show up to interviews or I’m talking with them
and they dress really to the nines, I’m like, hey, you know, I actually dress down because
I don’t want it to be the focal point. Yes, style and image is important,
but there are so many other things that you can focus on on getting better and it is my expertise,
but I never try to give people unsolicited advice. I don’t try to press my opinions on them.
I put it out there and I love it when they find it and they realized the power of image and style and
being able to send the message you want to send to find a uniform, the power of the interchangeable
wardrobe, understanding fit, fabric, and function, the style pyramid. These things are powerful
when you’re ready to receive the message. And, gents, speaking of being ready to
receive a message, we are about to launch the Mission Fragrance set. A collection of
three fragrances that are so much more than just colognes. These are high performance triggers.
[0:05:03] Honor, Courage, Commitment, the core values
of the United States Marine Corps and the Navy. I brought these because I know so many men out there
want to become better men. And I’ve developed these fragrances with a unique note combinations,
so that you can apply these on a daily basis and start to become a better man.
How does all this work? I’ve got a complete course that’s going to go with this on developing habits,
high performance habits that enable you to get one percent better every day.
You want to be more honorable, live up to the ideals, become the man you know yourself to be,
boom, I’ve got you covered there. You want to be more courageous,
so that you can give that presentation in front of your boss’ boss. You can finally have the courage
to go after that dream job, to do what you want to do, get outside your comfort zone, boom.
You want to be committed to losing 30 lbs, more committed to being a better father, better
husband, better partner, I’ve got you covered with these fragrances. I mean, just read the message
I’ve got here at the top, honor your commitments and be courageous in the face of adversity.
Gents, this beautiful set is going to be available for purchase here in the next couple of weeks. So,
make sure you’re on the early bird list, which I’m linking to down in the description.
Gents, this limited run is only going to be available to the guys on my early bird
list. Again, I’m putting that link down in the description. There’s no cost to being on this list
and you’re going to be the first ones to know as soon as we release this amazing fragrance set.
And when I say amazing, I don’t say that lightly. I think that this fragrance set
is going to transform the industry, has the chance to be something huge.
And if you want to be a part of history, you want to be a part of this project I’ve
been working on now for three year, guys, again, make sure to sign up for that early bird list.
I am going to make this available in December for everybody, but if you’re not on that early bird
list, you’re going to miss the launch, you’re going to miss the best deals. And I’m going
to have a lot of bonuses I’m going to wrap in with this. So, again, gents, get on that
early bird list, the link is in the description. So, what video to watch next? How about that time
I got fired? Yeah, that sucked, but I learned a lot from it and it’s a good
video. Go check it out if you haven’t seen it, guys. Yes, I talk about just, yeah,
getting fired and having to reinvent myself. It’s a good video. Boom, click it right
here. Yeah, good one. [0:07:04] End of audio