Porn addiction - what is it? how to know if you're addicted?
What to do about it? is there a cure? how to overcome it?...
Stick around! I'm going to address all of that.
My name is Helena Nista and I am a sex therapist and a Tantra practitioner.
I make videos about great sex, legendary pleasure, about Tantra and
passionate relationships. So if you're interested in these topics
and you'd like to learn more, make sure to subscribe to my channel
and also hit the 'Bell' icon to get access to all of my new tips and techniques.
And now let's talk about overcoming porn addiction.
I regularly work with men who struggle with porn use and porn addiction.
Some men that come to see me for sessions are self-proclaimed addicts.
Others simply want to learn to reduce their porn usage
or to stop it completely. And there are consistent reasons for their desire to
quit porn. These men mention to me feelings
of shame and guilt, they tell me about the negative effects
that porn has on their sexual performance, like premature
ejaculation or erectile difficulty. Watching porn affects their mood, their
focus, their overall well-being. And on top of all of
that their relationships often suffer. I really want
to point out here that porn in itself isn't good or bad.
Watching porn isn't always harmful. Many couples can use it successfully to
bring a new sizzle and spark into their bedroom routine, particularly
in long-term relationships. And many singles can use it to create
more pleasure, arousal and fun for themselves.
Porn is just a tool and all comes down to HOW we use it.
If we use it in ways that negatively affects our lives and our relationships
then that becomes a problem. Plus porn can be highly addictive which
is why so many people struggle with it. So first of all, how can you tell if
you're addicted to porn: Is your tolerance to porn increasing?
Are you finding yourself spending more and more time watching porn?
Or have you started seeking more shocking or extreme
type of porn videos? How do you feel when you don't watch porn for a while?
Are you experiencing frustration, irritability,
anxiety? Are you struggling to focus or to remain clear-minded?
Are you able to control your porn usage or are you watching it more than you
would ideally like to? Is watching porn affecting your mood,
your clarity of mind, your well-being, the quality of your sleep, your daily
life, your effectiveness in performing tasks
both at home and at work? Are you feeling disappointed
with yourself? Are you experiencing a desire to cut
down your porn watching habit? Are you hiding your porn use from others
in your life? Do you feel like you need to sneak
around in order to watch porn? If you answered 'Yes' to at least some of
these questions, that means that you might have a problem.
But don't worry! There are different things that you can do about it.
I'm going to break down my tips into two groups:
first of all mindset shifts and changes you can create in order to reduce
or stop your porn watching habit and secondly,
practical things you can do while watching porn
in order to wean yourself off porn over time.
So whenever you feel tempted to watch porn, think about
how it will make you feel afterwards. Because yeah, porn
will give you a temporary pleasure but it will probably make you feel shit
about yourself afterwards. Is it worth it? Is giving into porn worth
the shame, the guilt, the headache, low mood,
foggy brain, poor sleep, etc. Or will you be better off walking away from it?
Also remember that the more you walk away from porn
the easier it will become to leave it. This is because
you're going to start forming and strengthening new neural connections in
your brain allowing you to more easily overcome the
porn watching habit. Make sure to also create more rewarding
habits in your life to replace porn. Ultimately you reach for porn
because you want that hit of dopamine, of pleasure, because you're
feeling low, stressed, lonely, depressed or depleted
in the moment. And porn offers a quick fix. However, you
can reach for other rewarding behaviors like
exercise, catching up with friends, watching an
entertaining movie, investing in self-improvement books,
articles, workshops, etc. All these things will also give you pleasure but without
the heavy burden of bad mood, poor sleep or lower quality
relationships in your life. So it's a matter of swapping certain
habits and behaviors (in this case watching porn) for other
habits that will increase your well-being and
leave you feeling good about yourself. If you can quit porn cold turkey then
good on you! This second part won't concern you.
But if you're struggling with that radical approach and you're still finding
yourself giving into porn, here are some tips to wean you off porn
over time. People usually watch porn while laying
or sitting down. This means that they cannot move their
bodies much. You're going to do something different.
You're going to stand up, you're going to place your phone
or your laptop at the level of your face and this will allow you to move your
entire body. While you're masturbating, stay connected
to your body. Instead of losing yourself in the images
on the screen, keep using your breath to stay connected
to the sensations in your body. Make sure your breath is a bit deeper,
slower and more relaxed. Because a conscious breath will help you
remain more embodied. Every few minutes pause
the porn movie, turn away from the screen and continue
masturbating while paying a close attention to the
pleasure in your body. After about five breaths or so you can
come back to watching porn. Part of the problem with porn is that it
puts us in sort of a trance, it numbs us down and pulls us away from
reality. This is why this alternating approach,
where you're moving between watching porn
and paying attention to the sensations in your body,
will start to retrain and recondition your body and mind
to stay connected to your physical reality.
Over time try to keep reducing the amount of time you're watching porn in
each session and keep increasing the time that you're
pausing porn and masturbating without it. This is a very powerful approach that
will help you keep letting go of the need to watch porn.
If you enjoyed this video and if you
found value in it, please give it 'thumbs up'! It is my
passion and desire to provide everybody on the planet with simple
tools and techniques to make sex more fulfilling, satisfying,
pleasurable and fun. Please make sure to subscribe to my
channel for more videos and comment below about your experience
with porn. How has it affected you, your sexual
experience, your well-being and your relationship?
Thank you so much for joining me and for watching this video!
See you next time!