You know how there are those people in our lives that you absolutely love and at the
same time, whew man, they are tough to be around?
Well, in this video I'm going to share with you a strategy that you can use to help build
a bond with them and when you're actually around them, make that experience even more
enjoyable.
This question came up on one of my coaching calls recently where my client said, "Mat,
I love my mom and I want a relationship with her, but she is so hard to be around.
She's critical, she's manipulative, she plays the victim, and I just find myself drained
when I'm leaving lunch with her or interacting with her.
What can I do to help maintain my energy?"
It's tough because there's people you don't want to lose the relationship with them, but
being around them is really hard.
So what do you do?
Well, I'm going to share with you two ideas that are really powerful.
The first idea actually was taught to me by my friend Lisa Nichols, and that is this concept
that everybody is doing the best that they know how.
Now you have to remember the person who's tough to be around, they weren't taught how
to be better.
If they could be better, they would be better, which is an interesting concept.
There's part of us that wants to doubt that, but no, they can be better and they're not.
They know how to be nice and they're not.
But what if they were actually doing the best that they know how.
Lisa Nichols would put it this way.
She was like, "Look, you want 16 ounces of love from them, but all they're giving you
is eight ounces.
What if it's true that they really only have an eight ounce glass?
They are actually giving you all the love that they have."
And so what I like about that is it helps us give and build compassion for the other
person to say, "Hey, what if this really is the best that they can do?
Then I'm going to have more compassion for them."
The second tool is a priming tool.
Now, what is priming?
Priming is how you actually rev up your mind.
You set up your state of being for a successful experience.
Priming is a really, really powerful tool.
Let me give you an experience of priming for an example.
So I want you to say with me the word folk five times.
I'm going to say folk, I want you to say it with me five times out loud.
Say it right now with me and then I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer
that question.
Okay, so say folk with me.
Here we go.
Folk, folk, folk, folk, folk.
Now spell it with me twice.
F-O-L-K F-O-L-K.
And now let me ask you this question.
What is the white part of an egg called?
If you said the word yolk, you would be wrong.
It's not yolk.
Yolk is the yellow part of the egg.
It totally got me when I first did it too.
The white part of the egg is what?
The egg whites, isn't it?
So that's an example of priming.
When we're going to head into a situation that we are anticipating is going to be critical,
intense, antagonistic.
We're actually priming our minds to fight.
We're priming our system to engage in a confrontational interaction.
So instead I'm going to give you a tool to prime yourself for peace.
And it's a tool that my wife actually learned in her birthing class and I love it.
So I'm going to share with you, it's called bubble of peace.
And anytime you're going to go into an interaction that you might think will be irritating or
hard to deal with, put yourself, imagine that there is a bubble of peace, a powerful force
field, if you will, around you.
And this is before you're going to interact with this person.
You put this bubble of peace around you and give it a color.
Give this energetic field a color and imagine it surrounding you.
And when you're inside this bubble of peace, you feel peaceful.
You feel empowered, you feel confident, you feel worthy.
Nothing can shake you, nothing can rattle you.
You are grounded, strong and powerful inside your bubble of peace.
And then go into the interaction and imagine that as the person starts to criticize or
demean or get manipulative or whatever they're doing, which is always a bid for energy, it's
always trying to take energy or become more important or a call for love, no matter how
unskilled.
As they try to send those negative energies your way, imagine that they just bounce off
your bubble of peace.
And you will notice that when you leave that interaction, you're going to feel way more
calm.
You will feel way more empowered.
You will feel way more peaceful and you'll have had a way better connection with that
person.
So I invite you to try this on.
Number one, knowing that they're doing the best that they can do.
And number two, putting yourself in the bubble of peace.
Priming the interaction before you go into it to be one of peace versus one of antagonism.
And my question for you is this, what do you do that helps you interact with the people
that are hard to be around but you love in your life?
What do you do that really helps you build that connection with them?
Go ahead and post it in the comment section below.
I appreciate you watching.
If you're not a subscriber to this channel, we are a community dedicated to increasing
love in the world, one heart at a time.
So if relationships matter to you, if love matters to you, go ahead and click that subscribe
button, become part of this community and we will increase love in the world together.
Thanks so much for watching.
I'll see you soon.