>> Stephen: AND TRUMP'S POLICIES ARE MAKING
TEMPERS FLARE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
CASE IN POINT: WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY AND WOMAN REALIZING
TOO LATE WHAT THE FORTUNE TELLER WAS TRYING TO WARN HER ABOUT,
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS.
( APPLAUSE ) BECAUSE ON FRIDAY NIGHT, SARAH
HUCKABEE SANDERS WAS KICKED OUT OF THE RED HEN RESTAURANT IN
VIRGINIA ON "MORAL GROUNDS."
( APPLAUSE ) APPLAUD ALL YOU WANT BUT
MY HEART REALLY GOES OUT TO HER.
SHE WAS SEPARATED FROM HER APPETIZER.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE IT'S BEING HELD!
WHAT IF IT'S GETTING COLD?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERING ) >> Stephen: HERE'S WHAT
HAPPENED -- >> Jon: YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED --
HUCKASANDS WENT TO OUT FOR DINNER WITH HUSBAND AND FRIENDS.
THE STAFF RECOGNIZED HER AND CALLED THE OWNER, WHO GATHERED
EVERYONE IN THE BACK AND ALLOWED EMPLOYEES TO VOTE ON WHETHER TO
BOOT HUCKABEE SANDERS OUT OF RESTAURANT.
OH, GOOD, SOMEONE'S GETTING DUE PROCESS.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S NICE.
>> Jon: OH!
>> Stephen: IT'S HEART WARMING!
WHEN THE OWNER QUIETLY INFORMED SANDERS THAT SHE MADE THE STAFF
UNCOMFORTABLE, SANDERS LEFT IMMEDIATELY AND HER GROUP EVEN
OFFERED TO PAY FOR THEIR APPETIZERS.
BUT THE OWNER DID NOT CHARGE SANDERS FOR THE FOOD THE GROUP
HAD ORDERED AND THE CHEESE PLATES THEY HAD EATEN.
SO, SWEET NEW WAY FOR TRUMP OFFICIALS TO GET A FREE MEAL.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA GET KICKED
OUT EVENTUALLY, SO GO HOG WILD ON THE APP ORDER.
"HI, WE'LL HAVE AN ORDER OF JALEPENO POPPERS, THE HUMMUS
PLATE, THE TWICE-BAKED POTATO SKINS, AND A FILET MIGNON AS A
STARTER.
YOU JUST RECOGNIZED US?
WE'LL TAKE THAT TO GO."
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
( APPLAUSE ) BUT FREE CHEESE!
FREE CHEESE!
YES!
( LAUGHTER ) BUT FREE CHEESE OR NO, SANDERS
WASN'T GOING TO LET THIS SLIDE.
THE NEXT DAY, FROM HER OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE TWITTER ACCOUNT, SHE
TWOTE: "LAST NIGHT I WAS TOLD BY THE OWNER OF RED HEN IN
LEXINGTON, VIRGINIA TO LEAVE BECAUSE I WORK FOR @POTUS AND I
POLITELY LEFT.
HER ACTIONS SAY FAR MORE ABOUT HER THAN ABOUT ME.
I ALWAYS DO MY BEST TO TREAT PEOPLE, INCLUDING THOSE I
DISAGREE WITH, RESPECTFULLY AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO."
"FOR THE RECORD: I HAVE ALWAYS LIED TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC WITH
NOTHING BUT RESPECT."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TOTALLY.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU TREAT EVERYBODY WITH RESPECT?"
YOU WORK FOR DONALD TRUMP-- YOU'RE NOT EVEN TREATING
YOURSELF WITH RESPECT.
( LAUGHTER ) I BELIEVE EVERYONE SHOULD FOLLOW
THEIR OWN CONSCIENCE, AND I UNDERSTAND WHY SOME PEOPLE MIGHT
CELEBRATE THIS RESTAURANT OWNER, BUT DENYING SERVICE TO PEOPLE
YOU DON'T AGREE WITH IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
BECAUSE PRETTY SOON WE WOULD JUST HAVE LIBERAL-ONLY
RESTAURANTS, AND CONSERVATIVE RESTAURANTS, AND IT'LL BE A
NIGHTMARE FINDING A PLACE WHERE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY CAN EAT
( LAUGHTER ) "HONEY, I FOUND A MODERATE TACO
BELL OUT BY THE AIRPORT THAT WE CAN TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO.
THEY PROMISE ME THE CHALUPAS HAVE NO POSITION ON IMPORT
TARIFFS."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT THERE IS A MIDDLE ROAD.
PEOPLE LOVE IMPORT TARIFF JOKES.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I BELIEVE THERE'S A MIDDLE
ROAD.
RESTAURANT WORKERS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KICK OUT SARAH HUCKABEE
SANDERS.
JUST TREAT HER THE SAME WAY SHE TREATS HER CUSTOMERS: ONLY TAKE
THE ORDER OF THE TWO PEOPLE AT THE TABLE THAT YOU LIKE, THEN
TELL SANDERS "I'M NOT GOING TO COMMENT ON WHETHER THIS DISH
CONTAINS PEANUTS."
AND THEN WHEN THE FOOD NEVER ARRIVES, JUST SAY, "I HAVEN'T
TALKED TO THE CHEF ABOUT THAT YET, SO I CAN'T GIVE YOU ANY NEW
INFORMATION, I'LL BE BACK AT 2:45 TOMORROW WITH A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT MENU YOU CAN'T ORDER FROM."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.