well if it isn't pube mcgee the cheesecake puber is here huh
surprised to see me bro you shouldn't be considering like you
got me fired did not get you fired yes you did i've worked in
customer service for a long time everybody knows that the customer is
always right tips on my livelihood i had a 20 coming your way bill was 800
i had a box 60 coming to me man okay okay let's begin who here likes tacos oh
ain't vegetarian cause i don't need meatless bbq
let's see what teddy brought us so we got carne asada
there you go there's the el pastore like that um carnitas do you like
carnitas there you go hey uh excuse me carrie i have actually
got those tacos for you to eat i know c-class teddy went to
cactus house to try to win me over but here's the deal teddy if you're
trying to kiss my ass you're gonna have to come a little bit better than that
i'm talking like steamed lobster inside of macaroni and cheese
with a side of broccolini you know what i'm saying something fancy
not no fast food place where i could go buy this with my own little raggedy
paycheck well there's actually a it's actually a special
guacamole if you want to succeed in my class
you need to do the work it's just that simple yes uh quick question uh so
yes on the steamed lobster no sir that's what i like to call a
teachable moment okay so no lobster um
all right let's go ahead and do some introductions i'll start
my name is carrie during the day i teach way too many classes for way too little
money so i'm here to try to make a little
extra cash so i can afford such luxuries as
rent and antibiotics because this job makes me sick sometimes uh
you're next i guess you assalamu alaikum what up though
jalen's the name i've been working for the last 14 years at the macarthur
bottling plant and just got replaced by a robot
and my rib my cleopatra my queen my bottom [ __ ] my wife for 14 years she
was like yo if you want options you're gonna have to
get your ged it's either that or end up cleaning rooms at the best western for
half your salary and if you know jay that ain't gonna
work hey let me let me just say this okay
while i got the platform for me i first got woke when i seen
terminator and i realized it wasn't just a movie it
was prophecy first identified by the 3.5 percenters
but that's another conversation let's just put it like this the
revolution will not be roboticized not on jay's watch
real [ __ ] [ __ ] thank you jalen i'll make sure i don't bring my roomba
to the next class my wife take rumor classes i don't get
it let's keep it moving uh how about you
ma'am yeah oh okay hi gang my name is theresa and i
dropped out of high school when i was pregnant with my first child
my now husband randy well we got married after he knocked me up then we have two
more kids so we have three little rascals now and it's fun we're just a
little underwater right now so i wanted to get
my ged and hopefully enter the workforce before it's too late and we have to live
in randy's parents laundry room
i'm blessed so blessed god is good that's what's up
uh how about you young lady oh hey uh what's up i'm mila i got kicked
out of my high school because they found somali in my locker
and i can avoid juvie if i get my ged so here i am
i'm so psyched cool look at you all cute making america great again
[ __ ] so what's your story guy um my name is luis flores i had a great
job as a waiter a lot of money in tips until i was
fired without cause no reason at all fire i don't know i
have no idea why he's looking at me i don't it's fine
it's just a sign that it's time for me to do something different
you see i came to this country from mexico to fulfill my dream of being a
singer-songwriter oh like julio iglesias no not like julio glacies
he sucks more like justin bieber or justin timberlake or t-pain
wait wait wait aren't you a little old to like be a pop star now
aren't you a little young to die that's what's up but now
i'm going to become a dental hygienist because i have great teeth so i think
i'd be natural a what dental hygienist
maybe you should see one because you know what
pretty stinky guys all right hey everybody i'm mckenzie
uh they call me big mac oh we love mcdonald's
what mcdonald's i'm sorry what from the burger joint
mickey d's ronald mcdonald's to all beef patties
special sauce lettuce cheese and a sesame seed bun never heard of it
oh it's gonna be a long semester go on well anyway uh my knees my
back are really jacked up from working at he-man movers for 30 years
so i decided to get my ged so that i could move up to a management position
get off the truck and my son we call him little mac
he has decided to drop out of school so i made a deal with him
i get my ged he gets his diploma a little reverse psychology all right
and what's your name hey yo what up i'm bobby that's
that's what i'm talking about that's illuminati that's what i'm saying
see the [ __ ] here but he ain't here it's like they watching you
and you think you watching them that's what they do
so you got bobby digital he here but he's not
that's tupac coachella you know what i'm saying and he
you see y'all don't all right um that probably even a real [ __ ] hey are
you on crack it's it's skype oh boy it's hard to be woke it's hard to
be woke what is woke
okay well welcome everyone really nice we've all met
well we didn't uh we didn't meet we didn't meet everyone i didn't know
teddy uh earlier you said unlike these folks you're not a
night school type of person so i didn't think you cared is that right
what you didn't you didn't hear it right cause i would never say that about
people that i don't know you know what this is a perfect segue
i'll just follow your lead and i'll stand up
i am teddy walker uh a little fun fact about me i actually went here
oh i'm also newly engaged his fiancee's out of his league
i'm sorry what nothing you're doing great i said keep going
everybody loves you how does your fiance feel about you being in night school
oh she good she loves it he ain't total [ __ ] she loves it
i noticed that your voice just went up a whole octave now
from my studies of psychology in grad school i know that that means
that you're bullshitting ain't no [ __ ] of me
i tell you what if you're lying with her don't lie to it but i don't i don't lie
sound like some [ __ ] to me everyone sees right through you okay
if we go by your theory about the voice thing i think the word i think that
we're all getting off track he's lied four times this boy definitely
lying i have nothing you can't outsmart mother nature that's
what that that's what a woman is brother especially a black one you know how
that's correct girls are smart damn it like literally
damn it even if he didn't tell her so what i told randy that he was the
first guy i slept with not true but i'm trying to introduce myself and i you
don't respect your queen cause if you did that [ __ ] you know where you at
okay teddy don't lie to your queen okay guys you busting off in our guts
like that you might be carrying your seat feel like this conversation so you
ain't just lying to her you're lying to your child [ __ ]
if it's your bottom [ __ ] she know you stupid fam all i'm saying fantastic
okay how your fiance don't know where you're at it's after dog
okay this ain't halloween fam i'm done my sister know where i'm at
okay and she live all the way in arkansas okay
here's the deal class you will be given homework
every night just like regular high school and now
a pop quiz just so i can get a better idea of where you
all are wait we gotta we gotta test on the first day teddy
it's a pop quiz okay look here folks i am here to teach if you're here to
learn otherwise you can get out of my class
right now that's what's up welcome to night school
you