With how popular and well-received Netflix’s The Cuphead Show has become…
We wanted to tackle a couple more topics when it comes to the characters in this old-timey
world.
With a cartoon based on classic rubber hose cartoons from the 1930s, it’s no surprise
the show’s slapstick would lead to some pretty dumb characters…
But we’re not complaining, because we like them all.
But when it comes down to it…
Who’s got the biggest brain and who deserves to wear the dunce cap?
I’m Kyle with WickedBinge and this is The Cuphead Show!
Characters: Dumb to Brilliant.
While the show doesn’t have much lore, we do want to issue a spoiler warning as we will
be talking about specific episodes and moments, and we highly suggest you watch the show first.
With that being said, we can start off with the dullest knives in our drawer.
The smallest brained characters on the list.
These characters are The Dim.
At the bottom of our list is Jasper, one of the ghosts from Episode 6.
Jasper is mostly a lackey to Duke and Emma and it can be seen as to why.
Jasper is quite dull and doesn’t understand basic commands or words at times.
Now, this could very well be a result of the saw blade stuck in his head, which we assume
is how he died.
He is also a punching bag for Duke, he doesn’t even seem to mind being used as such, he’s
the classic cartoon dope known for silly laughter and giving dumb plans.
He also seems to have a short attention span and needs to be constantly reminded what they’re
doing.
If he had more screen time, he may have ranked higher, but we doubt that.
The riverboat brawler, Croaks is next on our list.
Croaks doesn’t fall into the same stereotype as Jasper where he’s a big dolt.
However, Croaks is not very smart regardless and between him and Ribby, is obviously the
duller of the two.
He takes almost everything Ribby says like some sort of challenge for a fight.
He doesn’t realize when he should be calm and needs Ribby for that and shows very little
intelligence outside of possible battle prowess.
He does show enough intelligence to use a firefly waiter as an improvised flamethrower
at one point, which is quite the smart move in the moment.
He ranks above Jasper because he does have Ribby to hold him back for the most part and
can lie pretty reliably when need be.
Rounding out this section of our list is The Devil’s right-hand man, Henchman.
Henchman is a recurring character who appears throughout the series helping The Devil in
a variety of ways, ranging from giving him need-to-know info such as King Dice’s phone
call or trying to cheer him up with cake.
However, he is quite dull, doesn’t know how to read a room, such as trying to get
King Dice’s autograph when The Devil is angry at him.
He even speaks in the typical cartoon simpleton voice much like Jasper.
However, he doesn’t have the weak attention span like Jasper and actually seems smart
enough to run a game show like Roll the Dice.
Henchman is quite dumb at times, but he manages to stay above Jasper quite easily.
While The Dim section was rather small, that’s because a lot of characters more easily fit
into the next section of our list, that being The Average.
Starting off this section of our list is Dorris from Episode 3.
Dorris is a small anthropomorphic wiener-dog and the wife or girlfriend of Sherman.
She doesn’t have a lot of screentime but she shows that she has a decent amount of
intelligence.
Dorris is shown to be quite the little firebrand as she gets angry at Sherman for always working.
Dorris seems to have enough intelligence to know that Cuphead and Mugman escaping would
make Sherman angry.
She also mispronounces “anniversary” throughout her appearance and gets quite angry when corrected.
Showing that she’s not the type to change her ways with new information, which means
she can’t really rank any higher on the list.
We’re ranking her hus-boyfriend Sherman next on our list.
Sherman is a big anthropomorphic bulldog and the chef on Ribby and Croaks’ riverboat.
Sherman is not the typical big dumb brute like Jasper or Henchman and instead shows
a bit of intelligence.
Sure, you could say that him threatening to cut up and serve the boys may be seen as dumb,
but we see it more as having a lack of care more than idiocy or maliciousness.
He does correct Dorris’ pronunciation of “anniversary” showing that he cares enough
to do so and is smart enough to recognize that.
Sherman is also shown to be absorbed in his work and seems to be quite good at it, showing
that he’s smart enough to be the head chef for quite the big audience of people if the
size of the riverboat is anything to go by.
One outrageous onion, Ollie is next on the list.
Ollie is a massive onion and a member of the Root Pack, he is the most beat-up member of
the Root Pack due to his emotions flaring up quite often, leading to him crying and
peeling which leads to more crying.
Ollie isn’t particularly dumb, but he’s quite quick to sob and is easily tricked by
Cuphead and Mugman, although it is implied he is drunk in that case.
The smarter of the two froggy brothers, Ribby is next on our list.
Ribby is an ex-boxer and supposed stand-up businessman who runs a riverboat with his
brother Croaks.
He and his brother both end up sinking their own ship by punching holes in it, which shows
they don’t really show very much foresight.
Ribby starts fighting with Croaks at a moment’s notice even after they supposedly make up
near the end of the episode.
Ribby is definitely the brains of the operation, but he’s not really the best brains to have,
just better than Croaks.
To no one’s surprise, the main character Cuphead is next on our list.
Cuphead is one of the main protagonists of the show and between him and Mugman, is undoubtedly
the duller of the two.
This gets to the point that they make jokes out of his bad decisions and dumb moments.
Such as when he takes off the invisible sweater and loses it or manages to lose Roll the Dice
when they were making it easy for him to win.
He is impulsive to the highest degree and runs mostly on instinct, he couldn’t even
come up with the name of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, which Elder Kettle doesn’t
take lightly.
It’s no surprise that he ranks here, what does surprise us is his relative level of
intelligence.
A porky pernicious person, Porkrind pops onto the next spot on our list.
Porkrind is the local merchant who runs the aptly named “Porkrind’s Emporium”.
He is a greedy pig who will force people to pay more for things they desperately need
and is quite wrathful as well.
However, when it comes to his intelligence, there are a few things we’d like to point
out.
He sent the boys on a dangerous mission because he didn’t think they were dumb enough to
go to the actual volcano, didn’t deduce that the egg-shaped gift he got was an egg,
and inadvertently leads to his shop being burnt down because of poor communication.
However, he is smart enough to know that the Black Market is profitable and knows to give
the boys the machine they like so they would leave, but this doesn’t make up for it.
Mean, green, and full of beta-carotene, up next on the list is Chauncey.
Chauncey is a giant carrot and part of the Root Pack who scam Cuphead and Mugman during
Episode 7.
Now, while he does help in the scam he doesn’t seem to be the leader of the group as he is
implied to be in the original game but does show quite the intelligence.
Chauncey helps come up with the ideas to scam both the boys and Elder Kettle, as well as
sucking up all the water out of spite.
Where he really shows his intelligence is he is able to conduct a symphony during the
party, which shows he understands music quite well, which isn’t very easy.
The final member of the Root Pack on our list is Sal the potato.
Sal is debatably the leader of The Root Pack as he’s the one who speaks the most and
is the main one that sets up the party and tricks the boys.
Sal is shown to be a bit of a thug however who only cares about his popularity, especially
around the Heirloom sisters.
He’s smart enough to know that Ollie crying will lead to problems, and is the one who
dreams up the orphan story to get Cuphead and Mugman away.
He actually seems to be the smartest of the group, but that could be because he speaks
the most.
Flying into the next spot on our list are Duke and Emma, the other ghosts from Episode
6.
We rank the two of them together because they are about the same when it comes to intelligence
as they both fall for the same trick that Cuphead and Mugman play.
Duke seems to be the leader and gets after Jasper quite often, as his intelligence allows
him to trick and scare the boys in a variety of ways.
Emma plays along and is just as intelligent as Duke, although she seems more like a peacekeeper
than anything.
The two of them show that they are able to both trick people rather easily, and keep
people away from their graveyard in a variety of interesting ways if the fact no one mentions
or goes through it is anything to go by.
Rounding out this section of the list is Elder Kettle.
Elder Kettle is the caretaker for Cuphead and Mugman, where he is shown to be quite
strict because he knows how impulsive Cuphead can be.
Elder Kettle was in the military in his younger years and a decorated war hero showing he
must have been moderately intelligent.
However, in his old age, he’s lost a lot of his brainpower, such as when he greases
the stairs to then subsequently trip and fall on them and sets hundreds of traps that he
falls into.
This is the main reason he can’t rank any higher, his old age has significantly diminished
his brainpower, hence why he ranks right outside the next section.
With our average intelligence characters out of the way we move on to The Sharp Witted
Starting off the Sharp Witted section is the gamest in the land, King Dice.
King Dice was the Devil’s right-hand man and the host of a game show called “Roll
The Dice”.
He was smart enough to make relatively easy games as a way to take souls and do so under
the radar with no one knowing or realizing.
He kept himself as the most popular game show on Inkwell Isle.
His downfall comes from the fact that he’s too smart for Cuphead, his games are designed
to be easy so of course, Cuphead finds a way to fail them.
However, he does lose his popularity because he is trying too hard to get Cuphead’s soul,
showing he can be just as impulsive as Cuphead at times.
Maybe a bit of a surprise, but up next is Baby Bottle.
Baby Bottle mostly lands here on the list because of how smart he is compared to other
characters his age.
Not only is Baby Bottle malicious but is actively homicidal and that takes smarts.
Baby Bottle understands words said by others and will actively disobey them, and when he
is called a “bad baby” he shifts from malicious to homicidal.
He knew to cut the chandelier to harm Cuphead and Mugman and he was well aware that he shouldn’t
break the radio and does it regardless.
Baby Bottle compared to other babies is a genius, but compared to other characters on
this list, he can only really rank here, although he is much smarter than Cuphead.
Our main antagonist, The Devil is next on our list.
The Devil is an interesting case because he shows intense smarts and intense stupidity
at different points in the series.
Getting his worst moments out of the way, he’s not the greatest liar, despite being
supposedly a trickster, and does manage to trick Cuphead multiple times, although is
often outsmarted by Mugman.
He also spends most of an Episode trying to steal Cuphead’s soul despite knowing that
Cuphead was wearing the sweater, but we can’t fault his determination.
However, he does run a respectably intense soul-stealing network and can trick all kinds
of people relatively easily.
He is high above the rest of the roster because of his bag of tricks, however, he is outsmarted
by a few other characters, so we can’t rank him higher.
Rounding out this section of the list is Mugman.
Mugman is the more cautious and as a result scared brother of the duo between him and
Cuphead.
However, this leads to him being seen as much smarter than his brother.
Not only does he show the ability to use a multitude of unique skills that require a
lot of intelligence such as knitting with invisible yarn, which can’t be easy.
He was also able to quickly deduce the problem with the carnival they were at.
However, he can’t rank any higher simply because he is a child and gets caught up in
childish manners and such at times, he also wasn’t able to tell when a pair of goggles
was no longer on his face which you think should be easy to tell, but that’s beside
the point.
But the Sharp Witted characters aren’t the smartest on our list, that’s why we finally
move on to The Geniuses.
The first character we will label as a genius is Stickler.
Stickler is Hell’s personal auditor which can’t be an easy job as he has to keep track
of and label every single soul that enters and exits hell.
If the “customers served” counter in episode one is anything to go by, The Devil has taken
in nearly 7 billion souls at the beginning of the show.
He is even forced to do an ungodly long recount which he obviously hates, however, due to
the fact that he is the only confirmed one documenting the souls shows he has to have
massive intelligence, hence his placement.
Ranking slightly higher is the wise sage, Quadratus.
Quadratus is a sage who supposedly knows all there is to know, including how to stop the
Devil from taking your soul.
He is even smart enough to easily rhyme words until it gets old, which on a dime isn’t
particularly easy.
However, he does speak mostly in riddles as most of these typical sages do and is also
stuck in his pool for unknown reasons.
He is definitely the smartest character if we were talking book smarts, but one character
beats him due to her propensity for street smarts.
That street smart missus and the smartest character in the show is Ms. Chalice.
Ms. Chalice is the perfect example of a street smart trickster who uses her wits and smarts
to get by.
She is able to mesmerize people with her charm to get stuff she wouldn’t normally get and
can quite easily trick even the cops or angry bear guards.
She has never been caught despite being supposedly a criminal for quite a while and is even willing
to share her secrets with Cuphead and Mugman, although they don’t quite pick on it.
Sure she didn’t realize she turned on the silent alarm, but we can’t really blame
her for that, with the fact we’ll likely see more of her in the second season, we are
quite confident in ranking her as the smartest in the show.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking.
And tell us what we should cover next.
Remember to hit that notification bell and binge some of our other Cuphead videos.
But most importantly, stay wicked.