I told you what I need from you.
So can you pinpoint exactly, like specifically,
what you need from me?
I mean, this is a conversation we've
already had several times.
I need you to be a little more vulnerable.
I need you to--
MEKA: (ANGRILY) How?
Like, I'm tired of you keep saying the same stuff.
Specific-- do you know what that means, specific?
I need you to communicate better.
I need you to not have this disposition when we have
this conversation all the time, or in general conversations
all time.
Because your response is anger.
Doesn't really work for anybody.
That's not vulnerable.
And your idea-- and your idea of vulnerable has not worked,
and it does not work.
You tell me you need me to be more vulnerable.
I feel like I'm being vulnerable.
That's not enough.
(ANGRILY) Oh, so what is enough?
You know you give--
(ANGRILY) See, what is that?
Showing up is great, that's awesome.
But that's-- But that's not enough.
So what do you need?
Again, what do you need?
Exactly how should I be more vulnerable.
I'm not wasting my breath and give you a whole list of stuff
that I don't think is going to happen.
I don't feel like it is.
So--
[scoffs]
You are not a freaking fortune teller.
MICHAEL: No, I got three weeks of showing
how you've been acting.
That's what I'm going off of. - Right.
And guess what?
I have the same for you.
And guess what I've been able to do, even after all that?
Still be open to this, and still tell you what I need from you,
and still show up this marriage.
You've shown me time and time again that you're a liar.
So if you feel like you already have judgments about me,
and you know how I'm going to act
after the three weeks of knowing me, then that is what it is.
Like, you're not giving me the chance to even show you.
MICHAEL: OK.
[dramatic music]
This is just too much.
I don't feel comfortable.
I don't like when she gets like this.
And I don't want to do this right now.
This is incredibly frustrating.
I've tried so hard to open up and focus on our problems.
But Michael just shuts down and walks away when things
get uncomfortable for him.
It's like, how can you just walk away
from our marriage like this?
It's so hurtful, and I don't understand.
I didn't leave because I was done.
I left because I needed--
I needed space.
So I didn't leave, I just needed to take
a break from that conversation.
Because it was getting to that point
where it wasn't productive.
I feel like I've told you, like, repeatedly how much
it bothers me when you walk away when
we're having a conversation.
And I told you that that's, like, a big thing for me.
I've explained it to you, I feel like,
in, like, a lot of different ways.
Like, that, for me, is a huge thing.
I understand you need your space.
But when you talk about how I'm not
big on communicating, that was a time for you to say, look,
I need a couple minutes.
I need to take a walk.
And you didn't do that.
You just walk out.
MICHAEL: For the sake of peace of our marriage,
we should table this conversation for now.
DR. PEPPER SCHWARTZ: Hi. MEKA: Hi, Dr. Pepper.
DR. PEPPER SCHWARTZ: It's been a while.
MEKA: I know.
DR. PEPPER SCHWARTZ: Nice to see you.
MEKA: It's been so long.
My primary goal in meeting with Meka and Michael today
is to help them build both trust and a deeper connection
within their marriage.
I don't feel like he's honest.
Like, I do feel like he's a liar.
He lies about a lot of different things--
small things, big things.
And I'm not sure how I can open up to somebody
who's lied to me so much.
He's lied about taking trips.
He's lied about being a yoga teacher.
There's, like, a lot.
Have you discussed finances?
The extent of our finance conversation
was exchanging salaries.
- How do you feel about it? - It's fine.
I make a lot more than when I started the process,
almost double.
And how did that happen?
I start as a principal in a couple of weeks.
I teach yoga three days a week.
You teach yoga?
Yeah.
So how serious are you about your yoga?
I practice about two or three days a week,
and then I teach once a month.
You still have yet to just tell the truth.
I'm kind of over it.
Yeah, I'm over you lying.
[suspenseful music]
It's like every day it's a new lie that I'm discovery.
And, like, I don't know how to proceed with somebody
who constantly lies.
This is where the issue is.
Like, you get angry, and you get frustrated,
and we don't have that conversation in the moment.
We don't figure it out.
And then you take whatever happens,
your feelings in the moment, and then you go
and you have it with everybody else, not your husband.
It's everybody else.
And I agree that--
that there is a way that you guys
can say what's in the marriage and what isn't.
But would you say that she's right, that some of the things
you say are not true?
Some of them, yes.
DR. PEPPER SCHWARTZ: Michael, if you
want your marriage to be successful,
you can't lie to your wife.
Is it-- is it something that happens automatically,
that you--
you don't know why you do?
I wouldn't say that at all.
I think there's a level of vulnerability
that, initially, was broken having
any conversation with her.
But anything that allows her to get
to know me in an authentic way has been difficult, period.
And are you going to take any responsibility here, Michael?
MICHAEL: It all goes back to just--
And if you don't know what their intentions are,
and if they're here for your benefit or for your detriment,
you protect yourself.
But I'll be honest with you, I'm a little scared
of being hurt or rejected.
DR. PEPPER SCHWARTZ: So I think you'll have
to work on developing trust.
And that means you both have to give.