When you go out to eat, you expect certain things of the entire experience.
You expect a pleasant atmosphere, nice interactions, and good service.
Everything should be clean and tidy, and the food that comes out of the kitchen should
be the caliber a chef takes pride in.
Those are the things that make you want to go back to a restaurant, but it's only half
the story.
Let's flip that around.
What makes a good customer, and what makes a bad one?
What does a chef expect from their guests?
Every time customers walk in, the chef, kitchen, and wait staff are hoping they're not the
kind that will ruin the entire day.
Not all customers are actually a welcome sight if they do decide to come back, so let's talk
about some of the things customers do that make a chef's life more difficult.
"Oh, it makes me mad!"
"Mad!"
[Clattering dishes]
Delaying your order
Everyone has probably done this at one time or another.
Your server comes to take your order, and you ask for a few more minutes.
You're still not entirely sure when your server comes back, so you ask for a few more.
It seems harmless, but it's annoying the heck out of the chef.
That's because there's a method to everything that happens in a restaurant, starting when
guests first walk in.
It's part of the host's job to seat them in a way that tries to guarantee orders are staggered
when they reach the kitchen, but if one table stalls, it throws the whole rhythm off.
What happens behind the scenes is a domino effect that can easily ruin not just one meal,
but other meals, too.
By the time the stalling table decides to order, the chef now has to deal with their
order and other, simultaneous orders.
The kitchen gets backed up, then food is delayed and guests have no idea what's taking so long.
"If I don't eat soon, I'm gonna have to lie down."
"I'll get you a roll, Murray!"
"Dad's lying on people again!"
Changing a dish, then getting mad
Sure, everyone has their likes and dislikes, but most menus will have something on them
you'll like without making major changes.
"I asked for no onions on my bourbon steak."
Remember, it's the chef's job to create a plate that works together as a whole, and
asking for any major modifications is going to change the flavor of the entire dish.
It might be so drastic that it just doesn't taste good, and guess who's usually held responsible
for putting out a plate that's less than stellar?
A good chef puts hours into designing and perfecting the way a dish comes together,
and it's frustrating when customers not only change it, but then get mad it's not good.
Your best bet?
If there's something major in a dish you know you're not going to like, just order something
else.
They're the professionals for a reason.
Don't believe that?
"In the words of my 13-year-old daughter, 'whatever.'"
Birthday surprises
One of the things a chef never wants to hear is that the party that's just been seated
comes with some surprise requests, and that's extra-annoying when that request is for a
custom, time-consuming birthday cake.
If you've ever baked a cake at home, you know the effort that goes into it.
It's not an easy or fast process, so making one from scratch when the customers walk in
and sit down just isn't going to happen.
Unfortunately for the chef, denying a customer something that's just logistically impossible
means they still have to say no during a special occasion that people will remember.
The perfect scenario is the simplest one: order your specialty cakes in advance, and
then don't cancel them the day before the event.
Why?
Chances are pretty good part of your cake and decorations have already been made.
Cancel a day out, and you're wasting the kitchen's time, the chef's time, and the pastry chef's
time.
That isn't just frustrating, it's being a bad customer.
"I don't know what I've been told!"
"Someone here is getting old!"
"Good news is dessert is free!"
"Bad news is we sing off-key!"
The last minute customer
Anyone who's worked anywhere knows how annoying late-night, last-minute customers can be.
Imagine you've just worked a 16-hour day, you're looking forward to finally getting
a meal of your own, sitting down for the first time in hours, and closing your eyes… when
someone comes in and suddenly, you know your day just got a few hours longer.
"Ah, terrific!"
The last-minute customer isn't just keeping the chef late, they're also keeping the staff,
increasing overhead costs, prolonging cleanup, and possibly making the kitchen unpack what's
already been put away for the night.
All that makes it sound like sneaking in before the doors close is a horrible thing to do,
right?
There's actually a way to make this one even worse: ask for the meal to be discounted or
free, because it wasn't going to sell anyway.
That's just adding insult to injury.
There's no reason you shouldn't be able to plan ahead and make it to the restaurant in
plenty of time… or find a place that's open later.
Fake allergies
A huge part of a chef's job isn't just making food, it's keeping the kitchen safe.
"You're on fire."
That's extra-important when it comes to people who have legitimate food allergies, so they
hate it when a customer presents a simple dislike as a medical allergy.
It's frustrating to all of the kitchen staff, who might have to go through a ton of extra
work to make sure they're avoiding cross-contamination.
"Cashews, pecans…"
"Pine nuts, peanuts…"
"Yeah, donuts, cronuts…"
"Almonds, lolmonds…"
Just put yourself in the shoes of someone whose job just got a lot more complicated
for no real reason whatsoever… and then imagine that it happens a lot.
So often, in fact, that it's pretty obvious when people are lying.
In the end, it's only hurting the people who have valid allergies.
Fake allergies make it impossible for the chef to tell who's legitimately at risk, and
that's not just being a bad guest, that's being a bad, disrespectful person.
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