- Sometimes, guys can just be a little (beep) sketchy.
And then other times guys can just be
straight, cheating, dirt bags who have a girlfriend,
and they're trying to pursue you.
And on behalf of all men,
you women can also be a little shady sometimes.
But this video is inspired by one of you subscribers
asking about a very specific situation
that was driving her a little crazy.
And it's all about what to do
when a guy who's got a girlfriend is pursuing you.
Keep watching.
(uplifting music)
Hey there, I'm Adam Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com,
where I help you create your love story.
And here's a question I got
from one of my YouTube subscribers.
What if he already has a GF,
but he still asked me out for coffee or dinner
and likes all my IG posts,
especially the deeper dramatic ones.
I'm 11 years older, divorced with two kids.
So probably stopping him from being with me
or am I too shallow?
Thank you so much for the question.
And if you have a question
you wanna ask me for future videos
and you're watching this
on Instagram @SexyConfidence or on YouTube,
just leave a comment right below this video
and we'll choose one of the best ones for a future video.
And also make sure you give this video a heart on Instagram
and make sure you give it a like on YouTube,
because that really helps me out a lot.
It helps me produce more content just like this for you.
So now let me dissect this question just a little bit.
You asked, am I too shallow?
You are absolutely not too shallow in this situation.
In fact, it sounds like you're being thoughtful
because you realize this guy's in another relationship
and you're trying to think through your future.
Which leads me to point number two,
which is you're divorced with two kids.
Now it's important for everyone
to be very intentional with their love life,
but it's especially true when you're a single mom.
You now not only have to protect your heart,
but you also have to protect your children.
So long story short, avoid this man like the plague.
But here's the thing I've been doing this long enough
to know that just telling someone
to stay away from another person in their love life
is not really going to work
because it's only going to appeal
to your logical side of your brain, which says,
I probably shouldn't do this.
And the reality of love and relationships
is that most of us make decisions with our emotional brain,
because that is what love is.
It's the most powerful and potent emotion that ever existed.
So for all you women out there
who made bad decisions in your love life,
what I'm gonna do is show you an exercise
where you can connect your logical brain
to your emotional brain
and start actually making better decisions.
So any time you're deciding
whether or not to invest more in a guy,
what I want you to do
is start imagining your future together.
I want you to imagine your life in three months,
let's say you actually started talking to this guy
and things go well,
and he breaks up with his girlfriend
and you continue seeing him.
Well, how are you going to feel at this point?
Are you gonna actually be able to trust him?
And then fast forward a few more months
or even a year forward,
and you are now in a relationship with this man,
but this whole relationship was founded
based on him incredibly sketchy with his last girlfriend.
How are you gonna feel
about the security of this relationship?
Are you ever gonna feel like he is gonna be a guy
that you can really settle down with?
And then I want you to imagine him, if you did marry him,
what would he be like as a husband?
Would he be caring, thoughtful, attentive to you,
or would he be the type of guy who goes out
and does whatever he wants whenever he wants it?
And then continue down this path
and even step forward a few more years,
and imagine even if you had children with this man,
what would he be like as a father?
Would he be an honest, caring, and kind person?
Or would he be the type of the person
who lies to his children and abandons them in the worst way?
This exercise is what I call a relationship simulation.
What it forces you to do
is takes the information
that you currently have about a person
and tries to simulate what it would be like
in the future with that person.
And rather than going from short-term relationship
to short-term relationship,
just following every single emotional impulse that we have,
this forces you to actually think in the future
and actually emotionally connect
with each of these milestones.
So long story short, is once again,
avoid this man like the plague,
because if you did continue with him,
it would be an absolute (beep) nightmare
of a life you'd be living.
So if you're ready to start
getting a little bit more strategic about your love life,
head on over to LittleLoveSteps.com
where you can access a free training
that's going to walk you through
the seven little steps to going from being single
to finding a long-term healthy relationship
with a man who, by the way,
will be an incredible partner
when you do have that relationship simulation,
when you're thinking that five, 10 years ahead.
And if you want me to answer your question
for future videos,
please leave a comment right there below,
whether it's on Instagram or YouTube
and we'll choose one of the best questions
for future videos.
And finally, if you haven't given this video
a like or a heart, please do,
it sends a lot of love this way, and helps me out a lot.
Thank you so much for watching and I'll speak to you,
you sexy single lady, next week.
Talk to you soon, bye-bye.