Hi guys, Brad Browning here… for those of you who don’t know me, I’m a relationship
coach and breakup author from Vancouver, Canada.
In this video, I’ll be talking about how to re-establish communication with your ex…
whether you’re just finishing up the “no contact” phase or just need some ideas to
get the conversation going again, this video should give you a few tips.
I’m making this video because I know that, for many people, learning how to talk to your
ex again can be really stressful.
A billion things are going through your head when you sit down to write that first message…
What the heck should I say?
Will I get a reply?
What if I don’t get any response at all!?
Before I answer those questions, let’s talk about HOW to contact your ex.
The easiest, least challenging method is via text message (or Facebook message, snapchat,
etc).
I talk a lot more about text messages in some of my other videos, and I’ve included a
bunch of sample messages in my Ex Factor Guide program (which you can sign up for, by the
way, at my website...
www.BreakupBrad.com).....
Anyway, I won’t go into depth on why texting is a great way to get in touch again here
in this video...
But, suffice to say that generally, if you and your ex at least occasionally communicated
via text, this is the best method for your first attempt at communication.
Regardless of what contact method you choose -- text message, phone call, Facebook message,
in-person encounter, telegram, messenger pigeon -- there’s 3 things you should keep in mind
at all times:
1.)
Stay casual, be friendly, and talk about “fun” stuff only…
no serious ‘relationship talk’ whatsoever, just keep it lighthearted and upbeat.
2.)
Be the one to end the conversation.
Whenever possible, make sure you’re the one to end things…
say something like: “Sorry, hate to cut this chat short but I really have to run,
meeting some friends… we’ll have to catch up another time!
Talk soon.”
3.)
Try not to reveal your true intentions.
If you seem overly eager at the chance to talk with your ex again, or if you’re far
too open with your feelings and your desire to get back together, your ex may put up his
or her “defenses” and shut down the communication.
You don’t want to ever ask your ex to get back together, you need to build attraction
to the point where he or she simply wants to be with you and actually wants to give
your relationship another chance.
Now, with those 3 things in mind, let’s chat briefly about phone calls.
If you’re planning on calling your ex to get in contact with him or her, then I have
to first warn you that you have to be ready for this situation.
It’s easy to blow it when you’re on the phone with your ex.
Remember that people can tell how needy you are simply by just listening to your voice.
If you’re not in a good state, I can promise you it will show...
You’ll stutter, you’ll mess up, you’ll sound nervous, etc.
And if you do mess up, you’ll have to start the process all over again from square one,
so be very careful.
Ideally, you should call your ex when you know that they won’t pickup.
Why?
Because you want to get their voicemail.
Yes, as weird as it sounds, you’re going to want to leave a short message on their
voicemail first.
A simple phone conversation right now will be much too overwhelming with your ex, and
chances are, they’ll get weirded out.
So make sure you’re calling your ex when it’s likely they’re at work or when you
know they’re likely away from the phone.
Late at night is not good either, by the way… you don’t want to give the impression this
is a “booty call” or a “drunk dial”.
You’ll want to leave a thoughtful voicemail.
For example, say something like…
“Hey, Stanley’s Bicycle’s is having a sale on mountain bikes!
Thought you’d like to know since you wanted that bike.
Anyways, hope all is well.”
And that’s it.
Why does this work?
First of all, you’re making it seem like you want to talk to your ex for a very good
reason.
You aren’t calling him or her to beg, plead, and cry about your life — you’re actually
providing them with real value.
Not only this, but what you’re saying is actually quite thoughtful!
Another crucial part of this voice message is that you’re not asking them to return
your call.
You’re ending the message with, “Anyways, hope all is well.”
Remember, we’re trying to convey to your ex that you’re completely over the breakup
and you aren’t going to accomplish by asking them to call you back.
Make sense?
If you’ve watched my other videos about texting your ex, you’ll notice that this
voicemail I suggested using is almost identical to one of my recommended text messages.
That’s absolutely true, and you can use any type of similar message as a text as well
as a voicemail.
Just remember: you’re not trying to get back together with the first message or phone
call.
Start with a brief, fun, and upbeat message or call… be calm and cool…
have fun and enjoy the conversation.
Don’t bring up anything serious.
Your only goal at this point is to get your ex thinking about you again, remind them how
much fun it is to talk and hang out with you, and start rebuilding some attraction.
That’s all I’ve got time for in this video, so I’ll leave it there… but if you’ve
got a question about your specific situation, please leave a comment below and I’ll do
my best to respond.
For more help and information about my comprehensive Ex Factor Guide program, please visit my website
at www.BreakupBrad.com.
You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel for more free videos about breakups and getting
your ex back.
Thanks for watching, see you next time!