Welcome to Taiwan!
We're in Taipei, Taiwan
And we have two days to eat all of your food
When it comes to Taiwan a lot of people think about
the night markets or they think about the soup dumplings but
you need to start thinking about taiwanese breakfast
If you've never had breakfast in Taiwan before
you are missing out my friends
Okay first up, fried radish cakes.
Oh, yes.
okay I'm actually a little bit surprised
[Simon: radishes?] Yeah, I know right?
that's exactly- I was expecting these to look like hashbrowns
like you know when you get shredded hashbrowns?
like I pictured a giant radish thing being shredded
I'm going in
alright here we go
Oh man, it tastes like... a mashed potato shot
oh my god, woah
Can we get 3 more of these?
This is amazing.
Oh my god. And it has like, little bits of meat in there?
Holy smokes.
So this is a really thinly fried omlette
it looks like it has green onions in it
and it's wrapped around radish cake again
But the radish cake doesn't look the same
That is perfect as well.
I didn't know any of this food existed.
let me just say, I prefer this over hash brown any day.
Me, too.
If I had a choice between radishes for breakfast and hashbrowns for breakfast, I'll pick this
Oh my god.
I didn't realize how big soy culture was in Taiwan.
Yeah!
You have a fresh, cold soy milk and mine is a hot soy milk.
This is so weird because I'm only used to having soy milk in boxes.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh my god.
Mine's like a latte. Can I have a shot of espresso in here?
That's so sweet but fresh.
Alright. Let's get this day in Taipei started.
Let's do it.
It rhymed!
We are here at Chung Shui Tang, which I'm sure I mispronounced
But I've honestly been practicing for like [Martina: You've practiced so hard Ducky] 5 minutes
Listen guys, you think you know boba?
You think you know bubble tea?
It came from Taiwan, did you know that?
It came from here
It came from here.
This is the originator.
Here is the biggest boba tea I've seen in my entire life.
This...
Oh my god.
...is nuts.
Holy smokes.
Do you see...
Okay
How big this is?
They're not messing around here.
No.
My wrists are sore.
Okay we gotta one shot it.
That is a delicious bubble tea.
I got a mouthful of boba.
Woah
Oh my god. That is perfectly sweet.
Oh my god.
I love this.
Do think this kind of tea counts as caffeine, Simon?
Of course.
What? What do you mean?
Now what I think its amazing about going for bubble tea in Taiwan is
is that it's not just about the bubble tea
it's also about the side dishes
This is crazy.
Radish cakes.
Oh, your dream has come true again.
Yup
Yup.
Yup
Yup.
I wanna go for this.
DUCKY
Oh my god.
Really?
That's like, mashed potato perfection.
Okay this look amazing because it has barley and shrimp
and a whole bunch of other stuff that I don't know.
Okay, I gotta try one too.
I'm going in for it.
Oh my god!
That is...
...a pork shumai
covered in rice.
I didn't know this exists.
OH MY GOD.
Oh my god.
The real question is...
rice covered pork shumai or radish cake
We are about to do something I cannot wait to do.
We are going to get our hair washed.
They're gonna massage my head and massage our neck..
It's like an hour of hair pampering right? That's amazing!
Um... yeah.
Who doesn't like having their hair touched?
Right!
Right?
Okay... okay you ready?
Yup!
Okay, let's go! Let's go!
Simon, where are you going?
Ain't no damn way I'm getting my hair washed for an hour.
This is where it's at.
Oh my god!
This is totally awesome.
I'm in heaven.
I love having my head touched.
OH MY GOD I had the most wonderful experience!
You too? Me too!
You go first! Okay so...
Taiwan night markets!
If you don't go to one of these when you're in Taiwan, you haven't experienced Taiwan!
What's the point, even?
This is what it's all about, this is what we've been waiting for
This is where we are going to spend the rest of our lives
Good night and God speed.
Look for the tent that says Simon and Martina will be here.
I'm going to eat everything you have to offer.
Yup.
Oh wow.
Sweet and savoury but not like Sweet and Sour sauce.
Oh yes.
Oh there's meat in here!
Wow.
I want...
all the food.
Stinky tofu.
Alright this is the deep fried version.
We like waited forever for this super-
You can smell this from a mile away.
Alright you think we're gonna burn our mouths off?
Yup!
Oh my god it's so... pungent!
Alright. Now try everything at once.
Wow. That is delicious!
OH. I can taste the smell now. There you go.
That socks.
Tastes good!
Tastes like socks.
It tastes a little like vinegar to me.
Vinegar socks.
Listen. This was supposed to be a lot stinkier than I expected.
WOAH.
This is not that stinky.
I am disappointed in your lack of stinkiness, stinky tofu.
I'm not disappointed... nope.
Anymore stinkiness would be too much.
Disappointed.
I would like to try something else please.
Woah you're really diggin' in there.
Hu jiao bing!
Oh my god. That meat is so sweet!
Is it garlicky?
It's like they have cloves in there as well.
It's like a hamburger bun inside this like beautiful sesame bun.
That crispiness... oh yeah.
Look how dense that is.
Fried chicken steak.
Oh yes!
Yes. Yeah!
Oh my god.
Oh! This is perfect, so juicy (Muffled noises)
Go away. Go away.
You don't even like chicken that much.
Oh my god Ducky. Are you ready?
Oh my god.
Oh my god is right.
Sheng Jian Bao!
Oh my god. Okay.
Wow.
The bottom, is like beautifully crispy.
The top is spongy and then the pork on the inside is so soft.
Oh my god.
Can I see the other one here?
This one.
Ducky wait!
Hua Sheng Juan Bing Ji Ling!
(Perfect!)
Is that right? (Yeah!)
Never again!
So this is a spring roll, shaved toffee
with cilantro
and ice cream. Can you believe it?
I am so pumped for this.
Oh my god.
That toffee!
With the spring roll and ice cream
Cilantro and ice cream...
I can't believe this exists!
I'm so happy with my life
Taiwan, why haven't I visited you sooner?
You are... a wonderland of mysterious, delicious food
and I love you.
I love you. I love you Taiwan.
I love you so- you have your own!
I ate so much
must exercise
to make room for more food.
More food.
Ah...
Oh yeah.
We are in the Grand View Resort Beitou.
And we are enjoying some amazing, natural hot springs
Ah, my ankles are so sore from all the walking I did last
night in the night market.
Ugh, my shoulders were so painful from lifting up all that food to my mouth.
My fingers ache from gripping chopsticks for hours upon hours.
My jaw was so painful after chewing and chewing all
that delicious food all day.
Ah, yeah I needed this.
I needed this.
pruny fingers!
Wrinkled fingers!
Wow, prune-tastic baby, dance!
Harry, I'm dyin-
What are you doing?
Why are you staying in the tub so long?we've got more stuff to do
Are you just looking for excuses to stay in the tub forever?
K, I'm going without you.
Where are you going?
Din Tai ***ing Fung
Now Xiao Long Bao deserves more than just a few
snippets of some sexy food videos.
So we're going to dedicate an entire fa-fap to this
For you guys of course- just for you. But for now, enjoy
some sexy food porn shots.
Lick the screens like you love it.
Drool, drool with us.
Lick it. Lick it. Lick it good!
Onto our next adventure! YouBikes, let's go!
Captain's Log, I'm actually happy that we got a little bit of exercise in,
We've pretty much been eating non-stop, right Simon?
Ducky! Where did you even get that from?!
I don't know.
But I don't care!
Ugh. Okay one of us is exercising.
One of us.
I got hungry.
Aw, Ducky we just ate.
Ten minutes ago!
Oh. My. God.
So we've been told by everybody here that we can't
leave Taiwan until we try some mango shaved ice.
they've confiscated our passports and they threatened to
keep us here forever so
I guess we're gonna have to try this out.
We're just gonna have to suffer and eat something super delicious.
We're gonna do this for you guys.
We'll do this for you guys.
Oh my gosh is that giant mango chunks?
Oh my god.
What is this, what is this white stuff here is that tofu?
This is amazing.
It's so cold!
It's like cotton candy ice cream.
Oh wow.
Oh my god.
I see now why it's-
Now I understand.
...why it's so important for us to eat this.
So this is the bubble tea shaved ice.
It's like uh, tapioca. You get warm tapioca and you put it on top.
It smells like brown sugar almost.
Oh man.
Alright.
This is a comparison of head sizes by the way 'cause I
don't think you realise like how big this is.
You see how big of a portion this is?
It's crazy, right?
This, is unbelievable
Are you ready for grease? Are you ready for noodles?
Are you ready for alcohol because we sure are!
So we are at what we can only describe as a stir-fry bar
This looks freakin' amazing already.
This looks all so great.
More's coming? Aw, yes. look at all this.
Holy smokes look at all the colors of this!
Look at my kingdom!
..of food!
You know Simon, you're sharing with us.
Oh my god!
That is unbelievable.
I feel like even if you went to this restaurant
and you couldn't read anything if you just wrote random checks on the menu
you would still have an amazing time.
Oh my god.
Oh. My. God.
That was unbelievable.
Now we've had the chance to try a lot of traditional things in Taiwan as well as
like a lot of street food but
that doesn't mean Taiwan doesn't have modern things to offer to you.
We have some incredible cocktails we're going to sample today
It's kind of like mixing traditional and modern things together.
And it's pretty much a really perfect way to end our journey here in Taiwan.
With some drinks and cookies.
Simon's a little bit excited about the cookies.
I'm excited that this drink has cookies.
I think what's funny about this is that this is our 7th take of this shot
yeah what you don't know is
And Martina just keeps pouring and she's like "Oh, I gotta redo this shot over and over again"
Taiwan- we will be back.
Oh we'll be back.
Yup. Perfect ender.
Cookies are nice also.
So that's it for our amazing time in Taiwan.
We've had nothing but wonderful experiences here
and my perception of Taiwan has totally changed as a result
I can definitely say this was too short of a trip.
Way too short.
Yes, we would love to come back again and we need to explore more night markets
eat more dumplings
As a foodie this is definitely a country that you have to visit.
This is, the heroine of food.
Okay we've been- come to Taiwan.
We've been through this.
The cocaine of food- No.