Hello my Beautiful Watchers. Because the last episode themed around me discovering a romance
sub genre that I wasn’t aware of before was surprisingly popular, I thought I’d
have a look to see what other little bizarre gems I’ve been missing out on regarding
niche lines of books. It was a surprisingly short and easy search, let’s talk about
Viking Romance.
Do you guys want to hear something cool before we get started? Though I don’t know why
I bothered framing that as a question, this is not a two way form of communication. Anyway,
at this point it's pretty common knowledge that the classic horned helmet that people
associate with the Vikings is a myth that was probably started by incompetent archaeologists
who found helmets and drinking horns buried together and assumed that they must somehow
be connected.
However I have for you today a slightly less commonly known fun fact, though it you have
already heard it then sorry for Dom-splaining to you.
The word Viking does not refer to the people, but the act of sailing around the world raiding
and pillaging other countries and all that other shit they got up to per example “Maaan
we haven't got any food left, grab your sword and let’s go viking.”
Ergo you can still refer to someone as a Viking if you’re specifically talking about someone
who is currently participating in the act of viking but saying something like the Viking
village or the Viking nation is technically nonsensical. It would be like saying the fireman
village or the postman nation.
I just thought that would be an interesting thing to share.
Viking Romance is a subgenre of both the romance and the historical fiction line of books.
Despite the popular idiom in this particular case you can glean a lot of what you need
to know about these books from the covers and the tall, handsome, muscular, sweaty,
long haired men that adorn them.
They appear to have quite a lot in common with the slightly more popular Highlander
Romance novels which I may also cover down the line. The Viking romances seem to be for
a very similar audience but those of them who are willing to go the extra few miles
north east to find the men who are just a little bit taller, sweatier, and longer haired.
While I was searching for a suitable example of the genre to review I couldn’t help but
notice a few recurring themes emerging from the blurbs of the best sellers.
An English noblewoman is taken captive by a Viking lord and after spending some time
together they slowly fall in love.
A different English noblewoman is taken captive by a Viking lord and after spending some time
together they slowly fall in love.
A Danish noblewoman is taken captive by a Viking lord and after spending some time together
they slowly fall in love.
A French noblewoman is taken captive by Danes…. and then rescued by a Viking lord and after
spending some time together they slowly fall in love.
A Saxon noblewoman is taken captive by a Viking lord and after spending some time together
they slowly fall in love.
A Viking woman is captured by a Saxon Lord and after spending some time together they
slowly fall in love… Ooohhh little reversal of roles there, I say.
There are of course other variations to the set up. I saw one where the person getting
taken captive by the Viking lord and they slowly falling in love was a time traveling
modern woman and there were even some where they swapped out the kidnapping with an arranged
political marriage.
The consistent factor however seems to be fair ladies of extreme beauty but limited
world experience being forced to abandon their former lives and go share cramped quarters
with the before discussed tall, handsome, muscular, sweaty, long haired men who are
absolute powerhouse badasses to everyone else in the world but learn to be tender and caring
towards the leading ladies.
So yes I think it's pretty safe to say that the main appeal of these books is the concept
of being swept away through no fault of your own into a world of adventure and rampant
sexual chemistry and having to make the best of a situation by fucking the shit out of
the rippling hunks of man flesh you’re now living with.
Like almost every non-religous romance genre the Viking books vary heavily in how much
focus is put on the plot, the romance or the sex, giving a range of options between adventure
heavy tales of true love and straight up delicious smut.
The book I eventually selected to review seems to lean more towards the former than the latter,
only scoring a 2 on Audible's 5 point erotic rating system.
Viking’s Prize, published in 1994, was written by Tanya Anne Crosby. It was the third of
what would go on to be a library of 30 published romance novels and short stories which I assume
she’s still adding to to this day.
A very basic synopsis of the plot is…. A French noblewoman is taken captive by a Viking
lord and after spending some time together they slowly fall in love…. However I will
go into a little more detail in just a moment.
I didn’t know this until I got to the author’s note at the end because my knowledge of Scandinavian
history is pretty much non-existent but apparently some of the big characters and events of this
book are based on real life.
I think that the experience of reading this book would have been improved if I’d known
that going in for reasons that I will explain after the synopsis.
Just before I begin I would like to remind everyone that I am very sorry about my consistent
inability to pronounce anything correctly as I suspect it's going to apply to basically
every Scandinavian name and word in this story.
Ok so about a thousand years ago Olaf Tryggvason, real life king of Norway was going through
some shit because he’d recently converted to Christianity and was having a hell of a
time trying to get the rest of the Norse to follow suit.
In this book’s universe he has an almost identical but slightly better looking half-brother
Jarl Alarik Tryggvason who likes to provide for his people by going viking in France.
The story starts with Alarik getting bloody revenge on a local French count who promised
him lands in exchange for peace between them, then promptly doublecrossed him.
He sacks his castle and kills almost all within, finding the count is not there but discovering
his bride-to-be, a stunningly beautiful young woman by the name of Elienor so takes her
back to Norway as his spoils of war.
So just getting this out of the way: Elienor gets 100% accurate visions of the future in
her dreams and this is the only magic in this otherwise reasonably historically accurate
fiction.
Her mother had the same gift and was burned at the stake for it leaving Elienor understandably
traumatised and quite secretive about her power. She’d be raised in a convent and
was going to take vows as a nun before the count had asked for her hand in marriage.
Alarik and Elienor have an instant overwhelming attraction to each other physically and emotionally
though the circumstances of their meeting i.e. him slaughtering everyone around her
and taking her away against her will kind of puts a damper on their romance.
Once they get to his home they both have to deal with the political situation in Norway.
Alarik’s big brother King Olaf is becoming super unpopular for being kind of a heavy
handed ruler, his little brother Bjorn is coveting his own title and the daughter of
a powerful ally won’t stop trying to get him to marry her despite no interest from
him.
Despite her insisting that he is her enemy and him that she’s a political prisoner
to him, nothing more, their mutual craving for each other leads them to sort of ease
into a relationship, starting with sharing a bed, then a bath, then bonking once, then
bonking on the regular.
Eventually Bjorn and Alarik’s wannabe bride lowkey betray him and his enemies kidnap Elienor.
Pretty much the entire kingdom declares war on Olaf leading to the true to real life Battle
of Svolder which culminates in the king’s defeat and suicide via jumping overboard rather
than surrendering.
Now throughout the whole book Elienor has been having prophetic dreams about this and
Alarik getting hit in the back with a thrown axe while trying to save her during the battle,
but due to her mixed feelings towards her captor and logical fear of revealing her power
she’s been reluctant to share this info.
However seeing Alarik jump from ship to ship to come to her rescue she realises she’s
truly in love so she leaps at him and they sort of collide in mid air and fall into the
water and she gets a bonk on the head with the axe handle instead.
Alarik tries to save her and his elder brother from drowning but seeing as Olaf doesn't want
to be saved this is basically impossible, so he has to escape with just Elienor.
They both recover after the battle, admit their feelings for each other though make
a note of this because I’m going to have to swing back to it later, forgive their treacherous
relatives, get married, have a bunch of kids, and live happily ever after.
Now I probably don’t need to mention this but please do keep in mind before passing
judgment that this is a comedically condensed retelling of the plot which is never an entirely
fair way of representing the book.
I mentioned that I wished that I’d known this book was influenced by true life events
going in, and this was because it would have saved me from a ton of confusion regarding
the end and the epilogue in which the lost battle and the death of the king are barely
referenced.
If you know the history you know that after Olaf died his kingdom was divided up amongst
his rebelling lords into lots of smaller kingdoms so presumably that's why Alarik and his lands
were left to their own devices but while reading the final chapter my ignorant ass was like:
“Are we not going to talk about this? I mean, I’m glad you kids worked things out
and got married but how are you not... you know... dead or enslaved?”
As you can probably imagine the story is primarily told from Elienor’s and Alarik’s perspectives
though it does sometimes stray into the minds of the supporting cast.
This is just a personal preference kind of complaint but I found that the narrative switches
back and forth between the two leads a little too fast for my liking.
I dunno, I just find it too convenient a writing technique. A good author really should be
able to set a scene from just one perspective or trust their audience to be patient enough
to wait a bit before getting the other half of the story. Again, this is just personal
preference.
Crosby appears to have really done her research for this and is in the loop when it comes
to the fun fact about the word Viking that I shared as she uses it correctly, referring
to the people of Norway who choose to stay home and mind their own business by a variety
of other things like the Norse or the Northmen.
This book got me with a clever subversion of expectations. Right at the start Elienor
tries to save a French soldier, a squire of about 13 years of age from the invading Vikings
and even strikes a deal to fuck Alarik in exchange sex for his safety.
I sort of internally groaned at this because I thought the noble goal of protecting the
pseudo younger brother character was going to be the plot convenience that would allow
her to partake of debauchery while still staying technically virtuous throughout, however this
set up did not last past the opening chapter.
I will save you my lady. Ahhhhh! Urrkkk.
Now you would think this would be a permanent deal breaker for Elienor but it turns out
that with enough sexual chemistry you can get to the mentality of “Ehh, what’s a
little child murder between friends?”
I will never forgive you for what you did to poor Stefan you foul... bonté moi.
Which one was Stefan?
I don’t know.
Everyone in this book is pretty much defined by one or maybe two character traits and it
is not subtle in establishing what they are.
I thought that Elienor at least had the potental to be a more nuanced character because of
the backstory involving her mother’s murder but unfortunately that only really comes up
in the story in regards to her deciding whether or not to spill the beans about having future
sight to save her love interest.
Which FYI was a conundrum with a very anticlimactic resolution at the end.
My dark secret is…. I can see into the future!
Cool.
You uh.. Do not see that as a Satanic witchcraft?
Nope. We’re still mostly pagan around here. In our religion, having magical powers is
awesome.
Oh…. I uh wish I’d known that sooner.
Then you have Alarik whose entire deal boils down to being the honorable warrior who thinks
that love makes you weak because he hasn’t found the right person yet, Bjorn’s only
thing is as mentioned being the covetous younger brother and there’s a guy called Red Hrolf
who exists solely to be the bad Viking that the good Viking can protect the heroine from.
Though even mentioning this might be showing my lack of experience with romance novels,
it's not unreasonable to assume that character development takes a backseat in this genre
as standard as it’s supposed about the romance not anyone’s personal journey.
Ok we have got to talk about consent issues in this book for a little bit. If this is
a subject that you would rather skip over for whatever reason that is fine, here is
the timecode.
Now before anyone leaps at their keyboard to whine in the comments section about the
handsome SJW complaining about consent in a historical fiction about a group historically
well known for their ravaging and pillaging: that's not what this is about.
Early on during the castle sacking there is some violence towards women and the acknowledgement
that they’re probably about to be raped but the act itself is skimmed over by the
narrative. I don’t like it but I can’t really take moral issue with it being included
in this historically accurate context.
What I do feel I have a more legitimate issue with is the Alarik/Elienor romance and both
characters insistence that Alarik has sworn a vow that he’s sticking to, to not do anything
to her until it’s consensual.
This gets brought up a lot in the story, by Alarik lamenting on how hard it is and Elienor
berating herself for choosing to sleep with him anyway despite not being forced to and
it's just really not true.
For starters, Alarik molests the shit out of her while she’s sleeping. He stops short
of full penetration but does pretty much everything but.
Then when they do shag for the first time they’re preeeetty far into the act before
Alarik get any sort of positive confirmation from her that she’s genuinely up for it.
It's very much a “her mouth said no while her body says yes” sort of thing.
If you want to work some borderline non-consensual themed smut into your book... Ok. Again I
don’t personally like it but as long as it's presented as an immoral act I can’t
really call anyone out on it.
But you can’t have your characters constantly patting themselves on the back for respecting
consent when they clearly super don’t.
I am strongly of the opinion that a modern author, writing for a modern audience has
a responsibility not to present anything that involves non-consensual conduct as romantic
regardless of whether it's set in the past, present or future.
It sucks that I have to say things like “Despite the rape this is still a reasonably good book,”
but in a world with Fifty Shades in it you do hsve to sort of pick your battles on this
stuff and I don’t think tht this was intentionally trying to blur any lines, it’s just one
of many products of a society that thinks that clearly defined consent lacks sexy passion.
On a final note here it did mildly amuse me that one of the times that Alarik forced her
to take a bath with him and she gave into her lust and kissed him, being French she
of course as standard went for a little tongue action which really took the big tough Northman
aback and grossed him out.
On a related but less controversial note, this book tries to keep the “will they/won't
they” going well past the point where I would consider it a “they HAVE done” situation.
From about the middle point onwards when they started fucking a LOT neither of them are
particularly secretive about their feelings for one another and while there probably was
some drama to be had from keeping up the suspense regarding if, once given the choice she would
stay with Alarik or go home to France I really didn’t see the point in trying to make a
big thing out of if they would tell the other they loved them and pretending that neither
of them knew the anwser already.
That in particular felt a little forced and possibly just there because it's a mandatory
trope in a romance drama.
Ok so in conclusion oh um also Alarik and Elienor fuck while riding a horse. I can’t
believe I almost forgot to mention that but uh yeah… Right on the back of a horse. The
horse’s name was Sleipnir.
Ok so in conclusion I think this is another one of those objectively pretty good books
that's just not for me personally.
I enjoyed the beginning and end the most and it’s probably no coincidence that that was
the romance lightest and blood soaked battle heaviest parts of the story.
The bits in the middle that focused on the budding feelings between the leads dragged
a bit for me but if you’re into that sort of thing, which seems likely if you’ve sought
out a romance novel for entertainment purposes then you’ll probably get a lot more out
of it.
Credit where credit’s due, the fact that those parts of the story held my attention
at all reflects the skill of the author. It's easy to get someone interested in a subject
they’re already into, it takes a lot more work to keep them reading about stuff that
bores the shit out of them.
So yes if you’re into romance novels, why not try going viking, and A Viking's prize
would be a good starter. Available on Amazon and Audible for all your… Stories about
having sex on the back of a horse needs.
Thank you for joining me my Beautiful Watchers...Bear with me for a second, I’ve got to think
of a clever way to tie my request for you to help me artificially inflate my channel’s
engagement with the subject matter… Ooh I’ve got it.
Like unsuccessful Norse Kkings leaping into the sea, Youtube channels are always in danger
of sinking to the murky depths of the algorithm never to be seen again BUT a ton of likes,
comments, shares, and new subscriptions can keep us afloat to go viking another day.
Nailed it.
Much love and appreciation to my Patrons of Honor: Shelby Hotz, and Matthew J. Brysch.
Hello again my Beautiful Watchers. I just wanted to take this opportunity to give you
a quick reminder that there’s a wonderful website called Patreon that’s been allowing
online producers to actually make a living doing what they do, since apparently YouTube’s
decided that they shouldn't anymore. Basically, they offer the chance to pledge a certain
amount of money per month or per video in exchange for various rewards offered by the
creator. There’s a variety of stuff you can earn by becoming one of my patrons, including
early access to all videos and taking part in that survey you see at the start of every
Lost in Adaptation episode. That’s actually a very important part of the process, as I
use it to gauge how much I’m going to need to explain about the book and the film before
I start comparing them. If you decide to become a higher level contributor your name will
be added to the credits that you’re seeing right now and you’ll be given the option
to join my private chat room so you can regularly talk with me and other patrons. If you’re
keen enough to join the topmost tier of patronage, you’ll earn the most coveted of all the
rewards: the chance to pick a future adaptation to be reviewed by yours truly. However, if
right now you are thinking, my goodness The Dom, I can’t do that, for you see, I am
of the Fremen and we use water as currency here on Arrakis. I mean, you can have some
if you really want, but I’m not sure how much use you’re going to get out of it.
Fear not, it would still be a huge help to me if you were to give that like button the
old clickeroo, share this episode on social media, with perhaps a little recommendation
to your friends to check it out, and subscribe if you’ve not already. It really helps my
channel grow and reach new Beautiful Watchers. I hope you have a most pleasant day and I
will see you in the next episode.
Testing, testing...Viking sound check.
-does basically impossible. So, he has to escape with just El-ili-ili-ili---
:gurgling mouth noises:
Why is it the French name that’s giving me trouble?
My clasp is useless. Case in point.
Sir Terry Pratchett, stop that at once! Down!
Pretty much the entire kingdom declares war on Olaf, leading to the true to life oh no,
I need to look up how to pronounce that word.
I’m not going to lie, that word does not look like it would say Svalt to me. But, whatever.
I’m not Norse.
-leading to the true to real life naval Battle of Svolder which culmvi--culmiinates!
-leading to the true to real life naval Battle of Svolder which cul-cul-cul
:starts scat singing:
:mouth singing to Hamilton soundtrack:
I mentioned that I wished that I’d known that this book was influenced--have I got
this right? Yeah i have this time, okay.
:laughs: Hey buddy. You want to come viking with me? Hmm?
As you can imagine the story is primarily told from Elienor’s--uh fuck. How do I keep
forgetting this name?
I noticed that I left this recording when I left the room.
-that I have to say things like “Despite the rape it’s still a reasonably”
(cat meows)
Oh baby boy, why you so sad, huh?
Meow!
What? What is it, Wispy-woo? Oh you stink after you’ve eaten. Your smelly cat burps.
You wanna go on the cat tower, is that what this is?
:cat scratching noises:
Any time you’re done with that scratching post, buddy. Thank you.
Ah yes, burning my tongue. That was a great thing to do to help me film.
You want to see--okay no. No talking? Just shoosh? Ok, I know you bury your poop with
these paws, so I need you to stop that.
Aiiee! Ah. Pretending to trip over my lights cuz it’s funny.
Hey, hey, no no, not the hair, not the hair! Jesus.
Back at the scratching post are we? Is it FUN? Hmm? Don’t give me that look, ooh you’re
so fuckin’ CUTE.
Sir Terry, buddy, will you please stop being so adorably mischievous?
So, in conclus--
:can falls over:
Get off the desk, Sir Terry Pratchett...Sir Terry.
All my bloopers are about cats now. You understand that, right?