brainy dose presents
10 bad habits that destroy your
confidence
self-confidence is one of those
intangible things that's hard to define
but you know it when you see it
it can be thought of as a feeling of
trust in one's abilities qualities and
judgment and it impacts nearly every
aspect of our lives including how we
feel about ourselves how others see us
and how we perform in school and at work
although a lack of confidence can be the
result of debilitating social anxiety or
other mental health conditions that
influence one's self-perception it's not
always the case you might not even
realize that you have some subconscious
habits that are actually destroying your
confidence
let's take a look at some of these
tendencies and behaviors so you can
learn to recognize them and get started
on building healthy habits instead
number one neglecting your appearance
you already know the importance of good
hygiene and that you should take care of
your health and appearance and one of
the most important things to be aware of
is that when you neglect your appearance
you're essentially showing disrespect
for yourself
furthermore if you don't feel good about
how you look then your self-esteem is
going to take a hit especially when it
comes to social situations
it may seem like a superficial point but
properly caring for your appearance can
really go a long way toward building
your self-confidence
number two obsessing over minor flaws
when you look in the mirror are you
quick to notice any minor flaw in your
appearance
do you get stuck on this flaw and
magnify it in your mind until it feels
like it's all you can see
if so you need to stop this practice is
toxic for confidence even if you think
you're just being honest with yourself
viewing your flaws with hyper focus can
cause you to despise what you see
when this happens your attention shifts
from admiring all of the things you love
about yourself to constantly
scrutinizing everything you think is
wrong this ritual of self-criticism
leaves you feeling sad inadequate and
ashamed not the best atmosphere for a
confident mindset
instead of obsessing over minor flaws
try putting that same energy into seeing
the positive qualities in yourself
it may feel strange at first after all
positivity is often hard won when
cynicism has become a habit but as with
any new habit worth developing daily
practice will transform how you feel
about yourself
number three talking about your
perceived weaknesses
there's a fine line between being
self-deprecating and taking it too far
while self-deprecation is meant to show
that you're a normal person who doesn't
take yourself too seriously it can in
some cases come across as insecurity
besides if you constantly make negative
comments about yourself people will
notice and either grow tired of hearing
it or start thinking that maybe you're
actually not as great as you seem
if you must discuss a weakness for
example in a professional context like a
job interview freeman has an area for
growth it will show that while there are
certain things you can improve on
there's a willingness and desire to
learn new skills and excel in more areas
than just those that come naturally
number four over complimenting others
when you over complement others you are
essentially telling them how much better
they are than you
of course it is important to build
others up but if you do it too much and
make yourself out to be a small fish in
comparison then you will start to
believe this narrative
instead of repeating the cycle of over
complementing others and demeaning
yourself take the time to appreciate
your own gifts and talents remember that
everyone has different strengths and
weaknesses
in fact if we were all alike then none
of us would stand out in the crowd
each one of us has something special
that makes us unique so don't forget
about your positive traits
number five believing your negative self
talk
if you're like most people you likely
experience negative thoughts about
yourself from time to time
unfortunately it is much easier to
believe the bad things we tell ourselves
than the good ones and over time this
type of thinking only lowers your
self-esteem and confidence making it
harder to believe in yourself and
achieve your goals
while positive affirmations can help
undo some of these thought patterns even
more helpful is learning how not to take
your negative self-talk too seriously in
the first place it will allow for a more
objective perspective on life leading
you down a path toward greater happiness
overall and therefore more confidence
number six
excessive apologizing
do you ever find yourself saying i'm
sorry even when someone else bumps into
you
while apologies can be powerful and
important being too polite or saying
sorry all the time can actually hurt
your confidence
excessive apologizing can make you seem
like you're unsure of yourself as though
you have no faith in your abilities or
decisions
you shouldn't apologize for things that
you know aren't your fault or for
something you don't feel sorry about
doing so you put the blame on yourself
and lead others to think that you are at
fault
apologies should be given when they are
called for otherwise they lose their
effectiveness and meaning
number seven letting others make
decisions for you
you can't be confident if you don't know
what you want or don't believe that your
opinions matter
confidence is built by expressing your
desires in honest empowering ways
this can only happen when you listen to
yourself trust yourself and follow
through on things you want in life
when someone is telling you what they
think should happen or pressuring you
into doing something they want instead
of considering your needs or worse yet
they try to control or manipulate you
your confidence will suffer for it
number eight lowering your standards
lowering your standards to be okay with
whatever happens means accepting less
than what you deserve
sure lowering your standards will make
things more comfortable or convenient
for you and while it might be an easy
solution at the moment it won't help
your confidence in the long run
in fact lowering your standards lowers
your self-worth and causes more problems
than it solves
it's also a slippery slope once you
start doing it for one thing it becomes
easier to do it for others as well
we may not hold the same values and
that's okay but if you have a set of
standards and stick to them it will make
you happier and definitely more
confident
number nine maintaining toxic
relationships
when it comes to being confident the
relationships you have in your life play
a major role
that's because everyone around you
affects the way you think and feel about
yourself
the people who are closest to you your
family friends co-workers and even
acquaintances all have an impact on your
self-esteem
if those around you are constantly
criticizing or belittling you your
confidence will diminish so take a step
back and consider whether your
relationships are healthy for both
parties involved especially if your
confidence has taken a hit as a result
of being with these individuals
in order to be confident and assertive
it's important that you surround
yourself with positive people who care
about your well-being as much as their
own
number 10 comparing yourself to others
we've all been there you're caught up in
your social media feed and you start to
notice that other people are reaching
milestones faster than you
maybe they have a nicer house a better
job or they're happily married while
you're struggling with dating
you feel jealous insecure and maybe even
angry that these people have something
you don't but wait is it really as bad
as it seems
comparing yourself to others is normal
human behavior we're wired to notice
differences and make judgments but if
left unchecked this habit can be
destructive to your self-confidence
it can leave you feeling envious or
resentful of the accomplishments of
others
try instead to focus on what sets you
apart in a positive way
and remind yourself that everyone's path
is different even if they look similar
at first glance
these bad habits are all markers of low
self-confidence
while some of them may seem harmless
they can cause considerable damage if
ignored for long enough
the trick is to recognize these pitfalls
when they happen
with practice you'll be able to
substitute a positive thought or
behavior each time one of these bad
habits pops up
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