I am so glad that you have all that energy.
You do, right?
You have the energy.
[CHEERING]
Me too.
I have a lot of energy, because I went to Starbucks for coffee
this morning.
And usually I send my assistant, but I gave him the day
off so he could wash the deck and do dry cleaning.
But I saw something at Starbucks that really confused me,
even more confusing than the fact
that a tall should mean big, but it means small,
and a grande should mean large, but it means medium.
All that confuses me.
But here's what I saw.
There's a bin with a place for cups and lids,
a place for newspapers and magazines,
and a place for bottles, cans, glass, and plastic,
even though a cup is paper, the sleeve is cardboard,
and the lid is plastic.
Then there's another bin and it says landfill on one side
and recycle on the other side, and it
says cups, aluminum, glass, paper, and plastic on one side,
even though those things were separate on the other bin.
[LAUGHS]
And it says everything else on the other side,
even though there are cups on both sides.
So everyone stares at it for a few seconds trying
to figure out what to do, and then everyone
ends up doing this.
And then on the side of the bin it
says compost, which wasn't even an option before.
And then I saw another Starbucks that had this.
OK, so it had in addition to the options,
they have labeled cell phones.
You see that on the end there?
They're trying to get me all mixed up, so in my confusion
I throw my iPhone away.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, nice try Starbucks, no.
I mean, I'm all for helping the environment,
but this is like an SAT question.
Like, if all recycling is garbage, but not
all garbage is recycling, all cups
contain paper, but not all paper is compost,
which hole is for the dirty plastic straws.
[LAUGHS]
Did you figure it out?
I think the answer is 36 I don't know.
I know this is a small way of cleaning things up,
but please throw your trash in the right bin
and please mark the bins clearly.
When I was a kid it was simpler.
There was a can for trash, there was a can for recycling,
a can for cigarettes, and a spittoon
from my chewing tobacco.
[LAUGHS]