CONSPIRACY GUY: This video is brought to you by Campfire
Everyone!
There is something really important I need to talk about.
Something very serious that affects lives of people in the real world.
Something is going on right now that needs to be addressed.
I’m of course talking about shipping!
For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, Shipping, not be confused with the
logistics of moving items from on location to another, is a fan term for the audience
rooting for certain romantic pairings between characters to happen in the story.
Basically fans wish for certain characters to get into a romantic relationship hence
the fans ‘ship’ the two characters together.
This sounds like a good innocent fun right?
WRONG!
Shipping is serious business!
There is nothing more high stakes and important than two make believe characters hooking up
in order to vicariously satisfy my emotional investment in their entirely fictional lives.
Shipping isn’t something for casuals or hobbyists.
You gotta be all in, victory or death!
Handling such a serious subject is a task that any writer should be wary of.
That’s why Terrible Writing Advice is going to ship all writers with this handy video
on how to properly steer their ships through the narrow straights of shipping.
Now the first thing to consider as a writer when it comes to shipping is that the level
of vitriol in the fandom shipping debate is inversely proportional to how much the writer
cares about their romantic pairings.
Basically if a writer adds no romance into their work then the fans probably will, even
if it’s a really bad idea.
This is why an author should just tell fans to not ship characters together because telling
people on the internet they are not allowed to do something always works out.
Could a creator just ignore the shipping?
Of course not!
Gotta double down and let everyone know that this thing bothers them and that internet
trolls better not do the thing that garners an over the top reaction.
What else could a creator do to minimize or control shipping in their fandom?
Well the biggest thing is go through the story rudderless when it comes to the romantic endgame
for the characters.
This is best accomplished in collaborative projects by making sure every writer on staff
have their own preferred romantic endgame for the characters and then make sure everyone
works at cross purposes.
Now the fans can’t start the shipping war because the studio staff are already having
one.
On the other end of the spectrum, when a writer has planned their romantic endgame, they should
never stop during the editing process and take a good hard look at the characters to
see if their pairing still makes sense.
We must stick to the holy outline!
Never bother to tightened up the writing to make sure the canon relationship is working
nor bother with a pragmatic pivot to a better pairing.
If a writer does decide to pivot, it should be done to appease the loudest fans rather
than a decision made because it makes the story better.
And if it doesn’t work out then this method comes with bonus of being able to lay the
blame at the feet of said fans rather than a creator’s lack of either competence or
a backbone.
Probably both.
Another way to make sure fans don’t flock to their own ships is by making sure the cannon
pairings are… just freaking boring!
This is fairly easy to accomplish; no chemistry between the romantic leads, no screen time
for the canon love interest, zero scenes that show why the characters work as a couple,
or just anything other than the vague sense that a love interest was added in by some
editorial mandate.
Could the writer introduce new sources of conflict to keep the relationship interesting?
No.
See writing about the ins and outs of a long-term relationship is hard.
So is actually developing a romantic relationship in a compelling way other than just dropping
the occasional suggestion of sexual tension before tying everything up in the closing
scene, I mean that’s if the audience is lucky.
The main couple may have to be satisfied with a still picture in the background of the closing
credits.
But hey, having the canon couple be as compelling as two dish rags tumbling around in a dryer
will certainly dissuaded shippers from advocating for their own far more interesting and dynamic
parings.
Now if this fails then a more direct tactic may be needed to stop the shippers.
It’s time to sink their ships!
Torpedoes away!
Now ship sinking is what happens when a writer establishes that a couple will not become
a romantic pair in the canon text.
This is best accomplished by both characters loudly declaring that they have no romantic
interest in one another and then proceed to add in heaps of romantic subtext by accident.
A writer could highlight why some couples do not work together in an attempt to dissuade
shippers from pairing them.
I mean it won’t work.
But the main reason to avoid this is that it might at least provide some interesting
story opportunities.
And if a writer employs all of these tactics then…
well it still won’t stop the shippers even if it can curtail some of it.
This is why a writer can just discard all of that!
That’s right!
Toss all of that in the bin!
Containment and curtailment is for suckers!
We’re going to lean into the shipping wars!
Is using fan shipping wars as a creator like playing with fire while bathing a tub full
of gasoline?
Obviously not!
It’s more like sailing an oil tanker into a munitions dump in that it looks dangerous,
but I’m sure it till turn out just fine.
By leaning into the shipping wars in promotional material we can stoke the fans and hype up
the next chapter in the story.
Just play both sides of a shipping debate against one another.
It’s free press!
Pour on the hype and set everyone’s expectations sky high, and only then does the writer truly
tip their hand to reveal that while they promised a royal flush, all they really had was a two
of hearts, a basic land, a reverse UNO card, and a bit of pocket lent.
I mean yes I promised a LGBTQ ship in the story, but hear me out!
What if instead I kill off all of those characters for cheap drama?
Is it bait and switch?
Well I prefer to call it a landmine, because it’s loud and flashy, but don’t worry!
I’m sure it wont blow up in a creator’s face if they step on that hot button.
Remember, setting the fandom on fire is always a good idea since fire doesn’t spread.
Creators should never be shy of the potential consequences of stoking the flames of a shipping
war because there is just no way it could wrong at all.
Now this is all well and good for a creator, but what about the fans?
Is there any wisdom I could instill upon fans in regards to shipping?
Of course!
I am a genius after all!
The first thing fans need to consider about shipping is some basic etiquette.
For example, what if two fans are having a debate about potential pairings, like in a
show made for children?
And then what if it turns out that both fans prefer different romantic pairings in this
show made for children.
Since it is a show made for children, the show’s creators are probably not going to
take any romance very seriously if they even include it at all.
Clearly there are no stakes here in this show made for children and that any shipping is
going to mostly be limited to fan fiction.
Therefore how should a fan deal with fans of a rival ship?
Well obviously they must die!
Attack!
It’s the only option!
If it’s one thing the internet has taught me it’s that anyone with an opposing view
is literary Hitler!
Tear them down!
Crush their augments!
Insult their face, their mom, their mom’s face, their lineage, their hopes and dreams,
and then to rub salt into the wound by insulting their ship!
This is war!
There can be only one winner!
A fan has to win this battle or else…
um… these characters in a show made for children might wind up in the wrong relationship!
The stakes couldn’t be higher!
Clearly there is no room for polite disagreement or getting a life outside of fiction.
If that’s not enough, then a fan should expand their war onto the creator of the story.
I’m sure sending in poorly worded death threats to the writer or showrunners will
totally change their mind on which characters wind up with who in a show made for children.
More importantly, this is an excellent use of time of resources and not a frivolous indulgence
brought about by projecting onto characters WHO DON’T EXIST!
while we live in a world full of real people with real problems.
If, for some odd reason, these expletive ridden death threats fail to stop the opponents of
a fan’s ship, then they will have to resort to fan fiction.
Now writing shipping fics could be like… a whole other video and probably a video better
focused on writing romance specifically, so I will only touch upon a few key things.
Now the biggest obstacle to writing fan fiction for a fan’s preferred ship is usually the
canon pairing.
The best way to handle this is to viciously murder the canon love interest in the most
petty, brutal way possible.
If this doesn’t sit right with the fan fic writer then be sure to write the offending
love interest as a controlling evil psychopath for no adequately explained reason.
The point is to make sure all obstacles to the fan’s ship is removed with the grace
and subtly normally reserved for the Nevada test site.
If a fan fic writer wanted something a little more subtle though then they could just settle
for quietly lobotomizing the rival characters off screen or just shove them into the arms
of some side character and move on.
Remember, never demonstrate, instead demonize!
Don’t show why the canon pairing would never work in a way that makes sense, sticks to
the spirit of the canon characters, and shows meaningful conflict.
If I do that, then who will show up out of nowhere to hurt the protagonist so I can play
out my twisted hurt comfort fic?
With all obstacles removed from a fan fic writer’s path what comes next?
Nothing.
Enjoy your ship.
Really.
That’s all there is to it.
Once the romantic rival is dead, lobotomized, and/or shipped off with a side character then
the rest is just saccharine lovey-dovey garbage with maybe a lemon or two thrown in.
Internal conflict?
Introspection?
Showing why the fan pairing would work better than the canon one?
Nah.
I want to have my cake and eat it too and ship it with some sparkling wine while I’m
at it!
Besides, fan fic writers are excused from creatively pushing their boundaries and should
be free to wallow in their indulgence.
But what about when a fan fic writer should not ship characters together?
Don’t worry about that.
Never consider that chemistry and compatibility are in fact two different things.
Characters can share chemistry, but not be romantically compatible?
Impossible!
What if all of the characters are asexual aliens or magical creatures not driven by
a biological imperative to reproduce?
In truth they all secretly want into each other’s pants and anyone who says otherwise
is just blatantly ignoring the obvious subtext.
What about shipping underage characters?
Ha ha ha!
Yeah…
Yeah.
You have fun with that.
Just be sure to express shock and surprise when other people find it gross.
Now with all of this fighting over the romantic lives of people who don’t exist, could a
writer just decide to like ignore all of this nonsense and not bother with it?
Why some foolish writers may even decide to write a story that doesn’t have any romance
at all?
This is a big misstep, but if a writer avoids any romance or shipping in their work then
they can always just kick that can down the road.
Then during the epilogue they can resolve all of the shipping there and sink a fleet’s
worth of ships all in one sitting.
Could the writer just have left things opened ended?
Of course not!
I got to get the last word in no matter how little I care about the romance in my work!
See!
I just sank the fans’ ships by keeping low and striking from the depths.
So basically the best way to deal with shipping is with unrestricted submarine warfare.
Now if only I could send all the annoying shippers down to Davy Jones' locker?
DARK LORD: What is this garbage?
This is just JP in a green shirt?
BARRON: And after all of that buildup?
What a letdown!
KNIGHT COMMANDER: Oh no…
It’s… him!
EMPEROR: Who?
CONSPIRACY GUY: Yeah.
Who in the plan are you?
INNER GREED: I… am…
Greed.
DARK LORD: You’re greedy?
MEGACORP CEO: Get back in the box!
INNER GREED: No.
I am Greed itself.
JP’s inner greed made manifest thanks to your desires.
CONSPIRACY GUY: What do you want?
INNER GREED: Everything.
KNIGHT COMMANDER: We will stop you!
You won’t let you have any more sponsors!
INNER GREED: You mean like this video’s sponsor?
Campfire?
KNIGHT COMMANDER: Ah crap!
I set him up for a smooth segway.
INNER GREED: Campfire, is a series of tools to help organize, improve, and showcase your
writing and is used by over a hundred thousand writers!
Utilize character sheets, timelines, detail relationship webs, and a full manuscript editors
that references notes in Campfire Write.
Or home your craft in Campfire Learn as a central hub of education resources.
Campfire Explore lets your share your work with a live community and build a following.
Select what parts to share and craft a homepage to present your story.
Creating a Campfire account is free and only pay for the features you need with a flexible
pricing structure ranging from monthly subscriptions as low as a few cents a month to affordable
lifetime purchases.
TWA fans can write better stories faster with Campfire at bit.ly/TWA2-22.
Don’t forget to use the Code TWA to get 20% off all lifetime purchases of Campire
modules.
Link is in the description below.
DARK LORD: Wait.
Did he just get stronger?
KNIGHT COMMANDER: He’ll grow more powerful with each sponsor!
His mere presence threatens the end of the very TWA expanded universe!
Soon we will be overrun with ads like never before!
We will have to band together to stop the evil ads before they destroy the universe!
INNER GREED: Oh.
How little you understand, Sir Knight.
I was there when this world began.
I saw the inners born and scattered across the TWA universe when JP broke himself it
smaller shards.
I watched as the world expanded and as all of your little genres came crawling out of
the primordial energy of creation.
It has grown and prospered and now lies ripe for a reaping.
How you fail to understand this world’s true nature when you claim to fight against
advertising.
Oh how the Knights of Artistic Integrity have shielded themselves for the truth.
KNIGHT COMMANDER: The truth that ads are the source of this world’s evil!
INNER GREED: Oh no, my poor little knights.
Did you not know why JP made this world?
The entire TWA universe is a mere construct designed to help sell his books.
This universe’s very inception was made as a vehicle for promotion.
KNIGHT COMMANDER: It can’t be…
INNER GREED: Open you eyes, little one.
See the world for what it is.
KNIGHT COMMANDER: Impossible!
There’s is no way…
INNER GREED: Oh yes it is.
The entire Terrible Writing Advice Expanded Universe is in fact, one.
Giant.
Advertisement!
KNIGHT COMMANDER: NNNOOOOO!!!!!!