- Hey, this is Mat Boggs and occasionally the man
in your life will want something
that he doesn't articulate, he doesn't share
and it's either because he doesn't
know how to ask for the thing
or he's too embarrassed to ask for that thing.
Either way, when that goes unsaid
you have no idea what he may desire
in the relationship.
So today I'm gonna share with you seven things
that men want, but don't ask for
in a relationship.
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Number one is he wants you to be happy.
Now, how does a guy ask for this?
Be happy please.
Be happy damn it.
No, it's pretty awkward and very ineffective, right.
But the problem is your happiness
you see, is a reflection of his effectiveness
as a man in the relationship.
After interviewing hundreds of couples
who've been married over 40 years
often the men would say,
look, if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.
Your happiness is tied to our sense of worth as a man
so we want you to be happy.
So if you're not happy don't be surprised
if your man starts to get restless
and he's either gonna try to fix
the thing that you're unhappy about
or he's going to avoid until you become happy.
But, your happiness is key to his happiness.
Number two is he wants you to take interest
in his interests.
Men love it when you become passionate
about what he's passionate about.
So whether that's a favorite sports team
or whether that's a hobby that he loves
like rc planes or racing or whether that's
a job that he's passionate about.
When you start to show interest in those things
it builds a bond and a connection
between the two of you.
Men rarely ask for this.
A buddy of mine was tellin' me a story about how
he's an avid football fan and he loves
the Steelers and he called his long distance
girlfriend one Sunday just to kinda check in
with her and say, hey, what are you doin'.
And she goes, what do you mean, what am I doin'?
I'm gettin' ready for the Steeler game.
Then she started talkin' about the game
and what was comin' up and he's tellin' me,
he's like I couldn't believe she was
actually getting ready for the game.
I felt my heart connect to her.
I totally melted because she's passionate
about something that I'm passionate about
because here's the deal.
When you connect to something that he loves
the love that he has for that thing
now connects to you.
Number three is he wants you to initiate the sex.
Go ahead and be bold, surprise him.
Come out of the bathroom in that,
some sexy lingerie, maybe that outfit
you haven't put on in a while, right.
He wants you to be the one initiating sex
unless however, you are the sex machine
in the relationship and you're
doing all the initiating.
In which case give the man a breather.
Now, I have a free gift for you also.
If you want ways to be feminine,
to ignite the attraction in the relationship
I've created a great ebook for you
called Five Feminine Qualities
High Value Men Find Irresistible.
I'm gonna link it up here in the video
and also below.
You can go ahead and click that link,
get that free gift.
It's a gift from me to you.
Number four is your man wants to be praised
and acknowledged and yet no man will ask for this,
or rarely ask for this and yet, it's what we crave
the most is that praise and acknowledgement to know
that we're doin' a good job as your man.
So, it can be something as simple as just
a favor that he does for you and you say,
hey babe, thank you so much for bringin'
the food home today, I really appreciate that.
Or, you can praise him for an everyday
common experience like him giving you a hug,
so the next time he gives you a hug
whisper in his ear and say, babe did you know
you give the best hugs in the world
and you will see him expand.
You will see him literally like feel better
about himself because remember this.
A man's sense of self expands under the light
of your praise.
Number five is he wants you to encourage him to adventure.
Now, men we're often conditioned to believe
that women want way more time together
than we want and you and I both know
that that's not true.
You want your independence just as much as he does.
You want your your time or time with the girlfriends
just as much as he does, but men were often conditioned
to believe that if we ask for time away
then you're gonna get your feelings hurt
or that's gonna be seen as a bad thing.
So, when you actually encourage him to go adventure
in his life, to go get some guy time
or to go do something that he loves
he is going to love that.
So you could simply say, hey babe, I've got
Sunday brunch with my girlfriends this Sunday.
Why don't you go and create a boys day?
And he's going to love that.
And, that type of freedom actually creates
a desire to invest more time with you.
Number six is he wants your confidence in him.
Again, this is very difficult to ask for
but it's obvious when he doesn't get it,
but it's also very easy to show your confidence in him
and here's how it works.
Confidence in him is as simple as
giving him a task and then letting him
complete the task for you, but often times
what will happen is there'll be the type
of woman who says, hey, would you take me on a date.
Would you drive me and let's go to this restaurant?
And then while they're driving there she's
tellin' him the best way to go and she's
instructing him on where to park.
Or she says, hey honey, will you wash the dishes?
And as he's washing the dishes and putting them
in the dishwasher she's correcting him
and saying no, the glass goes here and put the dish
in that way and she's micro managing the situation.
When that happens he feels like you don't trust him
to actually provide for you.
But, allowing him to accomplish the task,
actually sitting back and letting him
serve you shows that you have faith in his abilities.
And showing faith in his abilities is showing faith
in the man himself.
And number seven.
Your man has a deep desire for respect.
Now, when I travel 12,000 miles around the United States
interviewing America's greatest marriages,
respect was the number one principle
that all these couples talked about.
And yet, respect can also be a little bit ambiguous
and how do we know that we're respecting each other.
But respect shows up in the little things.
It shows up in the way we listen to one another.
It shows up in the way we show up on time
and keep an agreement for when we're gonna meet
one another.
It shows up in the way we honor each other's
differences and make it okay that we don't have
to like the same things or have the same opinions
all the time.
And, it shows up in how we are courteous to one another
in saying please and thank you for things.
I remember I was blown away, one of the things
that just absolutely blew my mind about my wife
when we were dating was how respectful she was
and how she never let the little things
get by her without showing appreciation.
And even after we got married we would go out
to dinner, our bank accounts are combined,
she's contributing to the money,
I'm contributing to the money.
We go out to dinner, I get the bill, I pull out,
I pay for dinner and at the end of dinner
she says, thank you for dinner, honey
and she gives me a big kiss.
And I'm thinkin' well hey, your money's in here
just like my money is, but simply the fact
of her appreciating those little things shows respect.
It shows appreciation and it makes, it's a big deal
and it goes a long way.
So, think about what are the ways that you can show
respect to your man 'cause it's a big thing
that he wants that he will probably never ask for.
So there you have it.
Seven things that men want, but don't ask for
as a way for you to build a stronger connection
with your man.
I've got a question for you now.
What do you want in a relationship
that you rarely ask for?
Go ahead post a comment in the comment section below
and if you're just getting introduced to his channel
take a moment and get subscribed because I think
you are gonna love what you find.
This channel is dedicated to supporting you
in all aspects of your relationship
and helping you expand the love in your life
and create that amazing relationship that you love.
Thanks so much for watchin'.
I'll see you soon.
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