Heya playa, is there an old friend that you really really miss and you want to reach out
to them but you just don't know the best way to go about doing it?
Don't worry.
In this video, I'm going to share a few tips on what you can do to reconnect with them
to rekindle that friendship.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
Now, one of the biggest mistakes people make when they take a trip down memory lane and
think about old friends is that they look at the things that remind them of the friends
but they never make the effort to reach out to them.
Whether it's sharing a story with someone of those crazy and fun times you had together
or it's looking at old pictures and jumping back down memory lane, most people tend to
take that first initial step but never move on from there.
And when you do that, you might end up telling yourself "Man, we had such fun times together
but I can't reach out to them now because they've moved so far on with their lives and
we're just different people".
And that it'self is what's holding you back, the fact that you feel like you're different
people.
You have different friends now, different social lives, different environments and because
of that, you feel like the two of you just won't get along like you used to.
But I don't exactly think that's what it is.
I think it's more of the fear that if you do reach out to them, if you do try to connect
with them, that you two just won't have that same spark that you used to.
And I think that's a totally valid feeling to have, but still if you want to reconnect
with that person the best thing to do is to jump down memory lane.
Look at old photos, old conversations, anything you have that brings the two of you together.
Jump back into the mindset of thinking about the things you guys shared rather than focusing
on the things you may not potentially share now.
Just because they may have moved on and entered a new stage in their life doesn't mean that
love, care and support isn't still there when they think about you, just like you're experiencing
it now when you think about them.
Ok, those feelings are there and you're ready to reconnect with them but how exactly do
you do it?
Well, the platform that you follow them on and keep up to date on what's going on in
their lives, shoot them a message over there.
That's probably going to be the easiest way to connect with them because you see that
they're active on it.
Now when it comes to sending that first message, what I would recommend doing is taking a picture
of the thing that reminds you of them.
Whether it's an old item that they gave you, a letter that they wrote or just a picture
of the two of you hanging out.
Sharing that with them will bring them back to that moment where the two of you really
really bonded.
It kind of operates like an instant nostalgia flash, it brings them back to that time where
they're going to start thinking about how things were with you and them.
Now if you don't have something like that to work with, you can always just shoot them
a message and say something like "Hey, I was thinking about the time that we did this and
that and you just popped back into my mind so I wanted to reach out and say hi".
And that's why my second tip focuses so much on letting them know that they popped back
into your mind.
Shooting them a message and bringing them back down memory lane with you is going to
help them reconnect with you and start that new conversation that the two of you are going
to share.
And that's all good and fun, the two of you share that memory but here's where it starts
to get kind of rocky.
Because once you get past that piece of the conversation, the next one is always "So,
what are you up to now?" which can totally ruin everything.
This is the point where you find out more information about what they're doing now,
now it shouldn't just be you asking a lot of questions.
Make sure to share your own experience and the things that you've gone through in the
time that has passed since the two of you were connected.
But the third tip here is super important.
This will either make or break your chances of reconnecting with them.
A lot of people make this mistake and never recover from it so don't do what most people
do.
As you're having that conversation, someone might casually drop in "Oh man, we should
get together again and catch up" and then the other person says "Yeah, definitely!"
and then it's dead.
The reason why that specific phrase kills a lot of potential reconnected friendships
is because neither person is setting an actual time and date for the two of you to meet up.
It kind of ends up staying in this very general area where it's like "Yeah, we should hang
out sometime, definitely" and then neither person kind of acts on it and they just wait
for the other person to take the first step.
But you're not gonna do that.
You're the one that wants to reconnect with them and re-establish that friendship.
So you're going to set a solid time and date for the two of you to hang out.
Just like you'd set up a date with anyone.
You don't want to keep it general, you want to keep it as specific as it can be.
In some cases, hanging out one on one might not be something that person is too interested
in so you can opt instead for a group hangout.
Talk to that person and talk to other friends that you've had and see how many people you
can bring together so that everyone can reconnect.
Ask them to meet up with you at a specific time, on a specific date to do a specific
thing.
It can be something as simple as hey let's get a cup of coffee together, hey let's go
share a meal, let's just spend 15 minutes together just reconnecting.
And most likely that person's going to feel like they have so many things going on in
their lives that they can't make a full days time or even a full few hours worth of time
so, aim for a shorter time period just for the two of you to reconnect.
All you need is a little bit of face to face time and then the rest of it can happen online.
So this is the challenge I'm putting forward for you.
I want you to reconnect with that person you feel that has fallen out of your life.
Whether it was an old friend, an old crush.
Someone that you really think about constantly that maybe you want to re-establish a connection
with but you just don't know how to go about doing it.
Follow the tips in this video and make it happen.
And on that note, thank you so much for watching.
If you enjoyed this video hit the thumbs up button and remember guys, my new book "Embracing
The Awkward: A guide for teens to succeed at school, life and relationships" is now
available on Amazon.
The link is down below.
If you can't order it yourself, ask your parents.
If you tell your parents you want to order a book on how you can grow and learn as a
person, I can guarantee they'll get it for you so check it out, send it over to your
parents too.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.