I've noticed-- I watch a lot of television.
You watch television, anybody?
OK.
How many people don't watch television?
What are you doing here?
I watch you, Ellen.
That's all that matters.
Thank you.
That's my point.
But there are so many talent shows
I've been watching on television these days.
There's The Voice, there's America's Got Talent,
there's Law and Order: SVU.
Well, they're talented.
It's not a talent show, but they're talented.
But it got me thinking.
I have my own TV show and I have a lot of people in my audience
that I assume have talent and I never really look into it.
It's all about me and my guests and everything.
So I thought, let's see what I have in my audience.
So it's time for--
I'm calling it Audience Got Talent.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right.
Well, America's Got Talent doesn't come back until May,
so I don't think they'll mind if I do this.
I have people in the audience.
I have Andy Zenor and Joel there and we're
going to see what kind of talent.
First of all, I'm looking for someone who does
an impression of some sort.
Any kind-- oh, wow.
Right there.
One person, so I don't really have to choose.
Oh, there's two.
All right, you stand up first, ma'am.
What's your name?
Hi, I'm Sabrina.
Hi, Sabrina.
How are you?
I love you.
I'm good.
I'm great.
Oh, good.
Good.
How are you?
Thank you.
I'm fine, thank you for asking.
OK.
So you do an impression?
Yes I do.
OK.
Don't tell me what it is because if you're good enough,
we'll know, and if you're not, if we can't guess,
turns out you're not good.
That's a lot of pressure, Ellen.
All right.
So do your impression.
(SINGING) Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Ellen, happy birthday to you.
Any guesses?
There's three people that come to mind when you do that.
Great.
First, I thought it was Cher, but I don't think it's Cher.
Oh, that was it.
Oh, it was Cher?
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
You didn't do the tongue, the hair.
I thought, then, it was Celine Dion
because it was very gestured.
But anyway, so Cher.
It's open to interpretation.
Yes.
It was very good, yes.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
You don't win.
Yeah.
Sir, come on out.
Oh, he's putting his collar up.
I think I know.
You're cheating already.
All right.
Go ahead.
Hard act to follow.
I'm Jeff.
Hi, Jeff.
Hi, Ellen.
How are you?
All right.
Good.
Listen.
I gotta tell you.
Great to be here.
I think I recognize you from Vegas somewhere.
(SINGING) You ain't nothing but a hound dog,
cryin' all the time.
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, cryin' all the time.
You ain't ever caught a rabbit, you ain't no friend of mine.
OK.
Yep.
I love you, baby.
I love you all.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, thank you.
Wonderful.
That's great.
That was one of the best Bruno Mars I've seen.
It's really good.
All right.
Now I want to see a very unique talent.
I don't care what it is.
It's-- oh.
The hand goes up.
Anybody with a unique talent?
Yes?
Hi.
What's your name?
Hi.
I'm Sierra.
Sierra, stand on out in the-- we need to see you.
I don't know what you're going to do,
but Sierra, where do you live?
I'm from Visalia, California.
And what do you do?
I can wave my middle toe.
Oh, I meant what do you do for a living?
Oh.
[INAUDIBLE] talent.
Sorry.
It's not what I do for a living.
I'm a substitute teacher.
Oh.
I bet that comes in handy for the kids to--
right.
You can wave your-- what?
Middle?
My middle toe, yeah.
You can wave?
Like a hello?
Yeah.
All right.
Just isolated middle toe?
Yeah.
Well, wave hello to us.
All right.
Thank you.
That's wonderful.
Thank you.
That will never leave me.
No other unique talent?
Everybody else-- Oh.
See?
I knew somebody was--
over here.
Come on out.
Come on.
Don't be shy.
You raised your hand.
Look at the posture on that.
Look at.
I have to take this off.
Oh, wow.
The shit's coming off.
What do you do?
I'm twisting my arms and putting my head through it.
Oh.
Fantastic.
Let's see it.
OK.
I can teach you guys.
All right.
So you go like this.
Yep.
Wow.
That was fantastic.
Thank you.
All right.
Finally, I need someone who has, like, really great dance
talent.
Like you're a good dancer.
Like a really good dancer.
There's usually really good dancers in here.
No one?
Is someone?
Who?
Right there.
Is he good?
Yeah.
He is?
So what's your name?
What's my name?
Yeah.
CJ.
CJ?
Yeah.
And where do you live?
What do you do?
I live in Burbank and I'm an actor.
OK.
You're an actor?
Yeah.
What have we seen you in?
I was recently in a show called Bull.
I guest starred in episode 17.
I was in a Angelina Jolie movie called Unbroken.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
All right.
So give Joel the microphone.
You're going to come down here, you're going to battle tWitch.
Come on out, tWitch.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Yes.
Thank you, tWitch.
Thank you, CJ.