The original "Wife Swap" debuted in Britain in 2003. The show was a reality trainwreck
hit from the start, that made its way to the U.S. by 2004. Think you're a stone cold
fan of this domestic juggernaut? Here's what you don't know about "Wife Swap."
Ever since the genre got big, we've all been asking; "How real is reality TV?" But while even
the most intriguing subjects need a little finessing for the cameras,
"Wife Swap" truly pulled out all the stops to create some impossible drama.
As one example of production fairy dust, there's the often outrageous house rules
supposedly written by show participants. And it turns out there's a reason why they seemed
too incredible. They weren't actually real; they were scripted.
"You're gonna do the cleaning and the cooking with a full face of makeup on."
"No I won't."
"Bachelor" star Sean Lowe learned that lesson the hard way when he suffered severe
"fan backlash" after his stint on "Celebrity Wife Swap." According to People, Lowe's wife,
Catherine, was switched with fellow "Bachelor" star Jason Mesnick's wife, Molly. After Molly
was forced to play by the rules and iron Lowe's socks, fans quickly came for Lowe on social media.
"This is definitely the most bizarre item on the to-do list."
The reality vet took it in stride, though,
pointing out that it's just TV, folks! Still, he assured,
"[Catherine] would scratch my eyes out if I ever gave her a to-do list."
At the end of each episode,
the spouses meet around a table for a debriefing. But while it could be a chance for reflection,
it typically devolves into tantrums, screaming, and tears. During one heated table meeting
on Season 6, "Ro" Drago screamed at her husband about his spending habits, saying,
"You have a problem too, buddy. Well, own up to it, buddy. Shut up! Shut up!"
"Y'know what, I'm leavin'. It's not about me. Talk to them, I'm done, I'm through with this crap."
But was this all real? Probably not, according to one past participant.
Season 4's Kate Martinez claimed on her blog,
"The absolute worst thing about the show is the cut and paste with the […] 'table meeting.'
What they want people to hear and see is all for the sake of good TV
and ratings; there is no allegiance to actual 'reality' as we know it."
Even so, it appears that Ro Drago has no misgivings when it comes to her enraged exit.
She told the Daily News,
"I didn't think I was that bad. […] It was definitely
a life experience I'll always treasure."
The show portrayed kids
as unbelievably well-behaved or out-of-control hooligans — depending on the chosen narrative.
But, since most children fall within a certain behavioral spectrum in real life, the "Wife
Swap" kids were allegedly treated to some reality razzle-dazzle. Reddit user, sup3rrn0va — a.k.a.
Steven Koopman — who appeared on Season 3 when he was just 10 years old, claimed,
"I was framed as addicted to video games so they took my Xbox and Gameboy Color for the week.
A few days in, one of the crew members came in with my Gameboy and said 'look,
I found this' and handed it to me. It shouldn't be surprising that they sent
the woman staying in our house into my room to 'catch me in the act.'"
"I can only take this much more of Lynn and then I am going to freak."
But it also wasn't unusual for swapped moms and their new charges to form a genuine bond. That was
the case with Doreen Flummerfelt and LaShelle Bray from Season One. Both moms fell hard for their
"adoptive" kids. Flummerfelt would send gifts to Bray's kids every Christmas, and LaShelle chatted
on the phone every so often with Flummerfelt's children. Bray told The Baltimore Sun,
"Both the boys are wonderful. I just love her kids."
"Wife Swap" has been the
subject of two lawsuits from past participants. According to the Muskogee Daily Phoenix,
Jeffrey Bedford sued "Wife Swap" production company, RDF, and ABC's parent network,
Walt Disney, for $10 million in 2005, citing "emotional damages." On his un-aired episode,
Bedford's wife was switched with a gay man, and when Bedford balked,
he says producers refused to tell him where his wife was located, until he continued filming.
Then, according to Radar, Alicia Guastaferro sued ABC and Disney for $100 million in 2010,
claiming to have experienced, quote, "severe emotional and psychological harm." The teenaged
former pageant queen alleged that she was made to play the role of the stuck-up narcissist.
"I don't care what other people say. Appearance is everything in this world."
Guastaferro says she was portrayed in such a bad light that she had to switch
schools in real life to avoid bullying from classmates.
Things allegedly became so overwhelming that according to the AP,
"[Gustaferro entered] psychiatric care for post-traumatic stress disorder,
depression, an eating disorder and panic attacks."
When it comes to reality TV,
ethics sometimes fall by the wayside. And on "Wife Swap," the very real participants
couldn't have possibly prepared themselves for any backlash. That's because producers allegedly
showed them fake "final versions" of their episodes before they hit the air. On an "Ask
Me Anything" Reddit thread, mrsashking — a.k.a. daughter Ashley of the Fine family — claimed,
"My family was on 'Wife Swap' in 2006,
I was 13. My mom ([a] professional organizer) swapped places with a pirate."
"When I found out that she was a pirate, I was like someone has issues."
When asked if she remembered her classmates' reactions to the show, Ashley claimed the
episode that aired was not the same as the one that producers had shown her family. She said,
"I was so excited and told everyone about it. We had a big viewing party. […] We
were totally confident with having a viewing party for the episode we saw,
but the final cut that we all watched live was less favorable. That bugged me."
Each episode of "Wife Swap"
took viewers on a deep dive into the everyday lives of two families. And the spouses' jobs
and parenting styles featured heavily in the narrative. When it came to the swaps,
opposites were key; switching someone like a working mom with a wife who believed in
"traditional family values." And Season 1's Christy Oeth was portrayed as a crazy workaholic.
"They even use spreadsheets to do grocery shopping, and put success before family life."
But in reality, Oeth had recently been a stay-at-home mom for her kids.
It was only after her husband quit a job in Manhattan, that she returned to the office.
Kate Martinez was also unhappy with how "Wife Swap" represented her
and her husband's passion for martial arts. She blogged,
"While yes, we love training, we are nowhere nearly as consumed with it as
they made us look. The truth is, it is our BUSINESS and our livelihood.
It is our sole source of income. […] To imply that we care more about our jobs than our family
was by far the single most insulting implication of this stupid show."
Each episode of
"Wife Swap" was supposed to document the lives of the chosen families,
over two weeks. But according to show participants, producers engaged in some
serious timeline faking and manipulation. As Ashley Fine explained on Reddit,
"It was 6 days, and the camera crew was there from, like, 7am to 2am every day.
They claim it's two weeks, but it isn't. They get away with it by saying it's 3 days of moms'
rules and 3 days of new moms' rules, which is like 2 weeks? […] It was an intense 6 days."
Kate Martinez claimed to have had a very similar experience, writing on her blog,
"['Wife Swap'] claims to be shot over two weeks when in reality it is shot over one."
She said production would reportedly fake what time of day — or night — it was, adding,
"They 'black out' windows to 'shoot a night scene'
or bring huge lights outside if it's night and they need to shoot a 'day scene.'"
The reality of appearing
on the show definitely involved very serious repercussions for one participant. Stephen
Fowler found himself unemployed — and very nearly divorced — following his portrayal as a verbally
abusive husband from hell on Season 5. According to SF GATE, after the controversial episode aired,
"[Fowler] was forced to resign from the boards of two nonprofits."
He was also fired as CFO of a solar energy company, according to The Noe Valley Voice.
"You are undereducated, over-opinionated, and overweight. It's not a good combination, Gayla."
The British-born Fowler branded his swapped wife, Gayla Long, as a redneck — and showed her zero
respect. But it wasn't just Fowler's career that was harmed. According to the Voice, the appearance
also nearly ended his marriage of 25 years. The couple even had to move to a new neighborhood.
Fowler's wife, Renee, publicly apologized for her husband's behavior,
saying she even encouraged him to seek professional help.
The outlet reported that Fowler was able to
maintain his job teaching at the University of San Francisco. But,
as for once again appearing on reality TV in the future? That'll be a definite no. He said,
"I wouldn't recommend it to anyone."
At least there is
one plus side to putting yourself out there for the world to see.
It seems that sometimes reality TV really does pay. And participants on the U.S.
version of "Wife Swap" made some pretty serious bank. According to cast members,
they were given $20,000 in return for appearing on the show. As Ashley Fine clarified on Reddit,
"The initial amount was $20k, but after taxes, it came to around $15k like others had expected. My
mom was part of a national group of professional organizers, and they were approached by ABC.
The group then nominated my mom, and when we heard you get $20,000, we agreed to do it.
I was super excited to be on TV, I was 13. But I was glad when it was over, haha."
Kate Martinez, confirmed the appearance fee, blogging,
"We thought it would be the chance of a lifetime to get $20K
and get to experience 'living in somebody else's shoes.'"
Another reality
TV tactic that "Wife Swap" has been accused of, is "Franken-biting." It involves editing
parts of different conversations together, out of context, to create a new narrative. As Time noted,
"Quotes are manufactured, crushes and feuds constructed out of whole cloth,
episodes [are] planned in multi-act 'storyboards' before taping,
[and] scenes [are] stitched together out of footage shot days apart."
"You believe that the Earth is flat." "Just makes more sense to me." "OK."
Dawne Smith claims she was a "Wife Swap" Frankenbiting victim on Season 1.
Smith alleged to the Tampa Bay Times,
"Participants were coached and goaded into fighting,
and it's more of an acting gig than reality."
The mom-of-two was "friendly and supportive" toward her new "family" when she first arrived.
But that wasn't the vibe producers wanted. Smith shared that provocation was employed
among the cast, with the film crew egging them on, saying things like,
"Are you going to take that? Why is he picking on you?"
Kate Martinez also alluded to Frankenbiting on the show, claiming,
"What they don't get in one fluid sentence they will work out pieces in other conversations
and then cut and paste words together. There were several instances during filming that
both Adam and I 'got into it' with the film crew for the ways that they were harassing us — and
words from those instances were inserted into other 'conversations' on the show."
Some people will do just about anything for their 15 minutes of fame — even if they're
already famous. And such was the case with '90s-era rapper Coolio. Perhaps in a bid to
fire up his flagging career, the musician appeared on "Celebrity Wife Swap," in 2013.
And Coolio's girlfriend, Mimi, switched places with actor-singer Mark McGrath's wife, Carin.
"I'm Mimi."
"That's my girlfriend Mimi."
"I'm his girlfriend."
The episode was suitably trainwreck-tastic, with Coolio really playing up the role of the
jerk. He was so convincing as a horrendous "husband" that it left viewers wondering
why anybody in their right mind would ever consider dating him. So, was Mimi insane?
Nope! Instead, it turns out she was never even actually his girlfriend. The couple
hadn't ever been romantically involved. It was all just faked for the cameras.
Coolio eventually came clean about the dating deception.
The emcee-turned-actor and producer insisted that he wasn't the culprit in the couple's con,
blaming the show's producers instead. As he explained to the Daily Record,
"Listen. It was all set up. I am nothing like that. I'm not even with Mimi. I never was.
She's a friend of mine. They tried to make me look bad. I don't want to do that stuff again.
I'm going to concentrate on my music and food shows from now on."
Thankfully, Coolio is not a real-life terrible husband.
And he and Mimi went on to live happily ever after — separately.
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