as you know from watching this program since the late 50s we have taken uh actually we're doing
it a day early because we'll not be on tomorrow because of the Wimbledon tennis tournament but
tonight we're going to answer our viewer mail let's get right to the old mailbag shall we
ladies and gentlemen our first letter this evening comes to us from someone named Mark Fletcher and
Mark writes dear sirs this is my second attempt to obtain tickets to this show the first being
while I was in New York last fall this time I am writing ahead for the date of Monday June 13
1983 for five people please advise me advise me if I need to do anything else sincerely
Mark Fletcher uh gee I'm sorry about the screw up the first time mark this time we can accommodate
you uh tickets are now in the mail for that June 13th show hope to see you then [Music]
uh letter number two dear David in my great travels around this wonderful
country I recently visited Minnesota I was driving through Stewartville when
a sign in the front window of a quick trip caught my eye it read we have milk in bags
have I lived a sheltered life or do minnesotans have bizarre milk drinking habits
I think it's bad enough that now you can drink High Sea from a box but milk from a bag come
back to reality sincerely Tom Roberts Charles City Iowa that's funny you should mention this
uh Tom uh here on the East Coast uh we've been drinking milk from bags for years and
not only does it taste delicious but it's also easier for the kids to carry right kids
[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
thank you very much kids thank you I appreciate it it's very nice nice job [Laughter] uh I've no idea
what's going on well uh letter number three uh dear David why is it that every letter on viewer
mail has a drawing a little blank Mark over the address well we get this question a lot are they
obscene do you fear their homes will be destroyed by emotionally unstable viewers just what's going
on sincerely Greg holefeld uh you know Greg I have to agree with you it is kind of silly to worry
about showing the address on these letters and I'm sure that you and your family there at 2140 East
Longacre drive and in in St Louis Missouri will be perfectly safe this late night talk show to
bring you the following Special Report officials at the Missouri State Hospital report that just
minutes ago an emotionally unstable man escaped from that facility and was seen heading in the
direction of East Longacre Drive Maniac was last heard to say I'm on a mission from Dave [Music]
uh letter number four let's see do we have yes we have this here dear Dave Dave Dave
Dave a thousand times Dave what do we have to do to get a letter on viewer mail your fans
Neil and Ann talner Lexington Kentucky Well we blew up this letter we're just going to check
a couple of things here is uh the letter Neil and Anne sent us and uh let's see we
totaled up the columns it would be 39 down and 25 across we multiply those two figures
of course and you get 975 plus there are also five other uh Daves at the top of the letter
for the grand total of 980 not a thousand so Neil and Ann and answer to your question
how can you get a letter on viewer mail well I guess you could start by simply telling the truth
[Music]
have all those kids here we can't uh letter number five are we up to number
five already boy oh boy is it is it my imagination or is the band getting smaller
do we have fewer members Dave uh just before the show
uh someone passed away no no no I don't know what to tell you we're a trio tonight okay
when when can we look forward to the group being back to full strength oh you never know in this
space you never know you never know but I'm just sort of dealing with it as it as it hits me okay
well you're not doing a bad job Paul but I just noticed tonight there were I know it's a little
it's you know it's not quite as good without four you know but wasn't there a fourth just before
we went on before yeah Neil and he's across the hall playing guitar for Nightly News I guess now
uh letter number five Dear Dave I have noticed that when you come out to deliver your monologue
you find it necessary to adjust your tie several hundred times I find this annoying
and a cheap theatric trick surely you must have time to make those minor adjustments
backstage a good question from Susan D New York you know I would have time to adjust my
tie if that psychotic page didn't try to strangle me before each show let me show
you what I mean via this videotape watch closely got to stay with the tour [Music]
they would mean something might happen to you you
don't want that to happen would we we go through this every night don't
we I don't know why he isn't assigned to another Studio [Music] [Applause]
online programs uh we have a lot of fun lined up don't you worry about a thing
we're gonna have a fine television program for you we're gonna go away now do not be alarmed
there will be a commercial on inducing you to buy something please do that and then when we
come back uh I will be talking with Boy George so thank you for watching we'll be right back