What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
No, I'm not talking about this movie, or that movie,
I mean a movie so bad, so fundamentally broken
that it leaves a pit in your stomach, or makes you feel
frustrated and angry beyond any reasonable measure
This is a question I've been asking myself for a while,
and I think it's about time to do something about it.
So I've pulled up the list of the bottom 100 lowest-rated movies on IMDb,
and I'm going through them one by one to find the worst movie ever.
Welcome
to the Search For The Worst!
I Everything Presents: TSFTW - Smosh: The Movie
God damn it, Smosh.
Do you have any idea how much I was desperate to go into this video
and announce that it's actually a surprisingly good movie?
Well,
I just can't.
Because "Smosh: the Movie" is one of the most
lifeless, empty and pointless films I've ever seen.
Like, I have nothing against Smosh;
well, I mean, I didn't before watching this,
because I'd never actually seen one of their videos before.
If you didn't already know,
Smosh is the combined creation of Ian Hecox and
Anthony Padilla-
Padilla-
I don't know.
They mostly specialise in making pandering humour for young kids on Youtube.
After watching the movie, I went on their channel and had a look at a couple of their videos.
I mean I didn't personally find them very funny,
(because I'm not 12 years old)
but there were some well-made little skits that had
some humorous elements to them.
It's about what you'd expect from videos titled:
"Gamer Gets Troll'd" or "Killer Teddy Bear".
It seems to me that they're famous for absurdist, random and surreal comedy
that works for a 5-minute Youtube video with fast pacing.
But alternatively to 'Smosh: The Movie' taking elements of what makes them funny/popular in the first place,
and transforming that into a movie with the same energy and style,
instead they opt for the most generic and fucking
boring idea possible.
A safe, predictable high school reunion
"comedy".
I've been on a comedy movie binge recently
I went through the Edgar Wright trilogy,
'The Big Lebowski',
I even watched a couple of appalling Will Ferrell movies because I hate myself.
Now where something like 'The Shaun Of The Dead' or 'The Big Lebowski' excel in comedy,
is the way that they're actually written as movies.
They have characters with believable motivation,
and there's more going on than "the joke is Will Ferrell is being a fucking man-child",
oh, "the joke is that they said a swear word".
Lady: "What the fuck?!"
"Oh the joke is that this is the sort of person who doesn't look like they should be doing this thing,
and then doing the thing.
Isn't that so funny and clever?!"
I know humour is incredibly subjective,
and even if you do enjoy the odd Will Ferrell movie for what it is,
on a very fundamental level,
you have to appreciate that
the majority of modern comedy is hardly quality filmmaking.
They often boil down to a collection of random sketches,
loosely connected by the most shallow and
superficial plot structure possible.
It's the same thing with most horror movies now, too.
There is so much terrible crap, because, like comedy, it's easy to market,
what scares you is very subjective,
and you can coast off an idea no matter how hollow a movie or idea is.
So what does any of this have to do with: "Smitch: The Movie"?
Well. Whoever wrote this movie decided to go with the 'Will Ferrell' comedy approach.
Who needs to actually write this thing with interesting arcs,
a story, characters who feel like people,
when it's far easier to shamble together a bunch of references and cameos
from internet-famous people
who I guess Smosh are friends with so they
agreed to be in the movie.
"Smits: The Move",
isn't even the first 'Youtuber Movie'.
We had: "Fred: The Movie"
In 2010
"Not Cool
- A Shane Dawson Film" in 2014
and more that I probably haven't heard of.
But what do all three of these movies have in common?
If you guessed the fact that they're all absolute fucking dogshit,
then you'd be correct!
You don't need to be so hard about it though, Jesus.
And they say I'm the meanie...
(Please don't copyright strike me Smosh).
The real problem here is that just because you're good at entertaining idiots on the internet,
that doesn't translate to making a good (or interesting) movie.
I mean like,
Fred was really fucking annoying and grating in his really short YouTube videos,
who thought that would be a good idea for a feature movie?
Is it because there's a potential audience of millions of people to exploit?
Huh.
I wonder.
It's hard for me to not settle on the mindset that
these movies are only made to make a
quick buck from the subject-in-question's immediate popularity.
And that empty, corporate idea
translates directly to the movie.
There is not one thing of note about the Smosh movie,
It's nothing, it is a NOTHING MOVIE.
It's so utterly cynical and forgettable,
that it actually goes beyond being
being mindless, harmless entertainment.
I actually find it kind of insulting to my intelligence.
For some reason the movie starts with a really awful animated segment.
It's so unbelievably terrible that I've
reason to believe that it
must have been a last minute addition of some kind because
how could anyone believe this is even
REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE?
So the basic set-up of this movie is bizarrely complicated
in an unitentional way
I think.
I mean for people who aren't really fans of Smosh, I guess.
Anthony here is like a pizza guy,
and Ian sits here all day harassing women on YouTube
in his parents house.
Throughout the entire thing I was wondering: "Is this like a Smosh origin story?
Is it self aware?
Or is this like a one-off tale just for the movie?
The characters they're playing have their real names,
so are they playing themselves?
Is this structure for comedic purposes?
I dunno.
Even after the movie I still wasn't sure why it was framed in such a bizarre way.
It's hard not to notice how immediately flat and lifeless everything is.
"Remember the bubbly maniacs from the videos on their channel?"
Well, now they're just a couple of dudes
that have to spout out a bunch of really mundane dialogue that
is not even remotely funny.
It doesn't help that out of the two of them,
Anthony is the weak link in terms of acting talent and timing.
He seems unnatural and uncomfortable,
Ian is actually really good though!
I mean his dialogue is thoroughly forgettable,
but he's actually really charming and funny.
With the right writing and the right role, I feel
like he could really shine!
But not in this movie.
This film is so visually bland that you
could probably just listen to the audio track and gain the same amount of entertainment from it.
Wait, no, I've got something even better:
Listen to the audio from this movie while looking at this funny meme:
Man 1: Hello Mr. YouTube
Man 2: Ohnono, please, call me Steve.
Man 2: YouTube. Call me Steve YouTube.
Man 1: Okay, uhh so (Fade out).
IHE: Now that's what I call entertainment!
Like, comment and favourite the meme.
This is now a meme channel.
Pretty much the whole movie is shot like one of their YouTube videos.
I'm not sure if it was intentional or not, but it doesn't
really work for a movie that has no style or character to it.
The most painful aspect of all is that there is basically no pacing.
Every single scene feels overly long and commonplace.
It's only an 1 hour and 20 mins. but it feels twice as long!
Without any sense of flow or point to anything,
or the lack of a realy story, your left
sat there, thinking to yourself:
Why is this happening?
Why is Markiplier suddenly in this movie?
Why is Jenna Marbles suddenly in this movie?
Oh look, it's that guy from 'Epic Meal Time'.
Reference.
Who needs a joke when you've got references?
When you sell your movie as a comedy,
and it fails completely at being a
...
comedy,
then I have no choice but to look at it as just a plain old movie.
On IMDb, it's listed as 'Action, Adventure, Comedy'.
So if the comedy in this movie falls flat,
then I guess the action and adventure should take centre stage and hold the thing together, right?
Well no.
Because not only does it take 30 minutes for there to be any action or adventure,
which is over a third of the way through the movie by the way,
but the action is so poorly implemented that it's downright embarrassing.
This is primarily down to how hideous the visual effects are.
The monster that chases them in the Markiplier scene,
is the worst thing my eyes have ever bared witness to!
There are better visual effects on YouTube for God's sake!
That- That's where SMOSH IS A THING!
So really, the biggest failure of this movie is that it's not
funny at all.
We predicted (Alex and Ruben) that we would get at least two decent laughs from this, but
at the end of it all?
I honest to God, didn't even laugh once.
At one point Ruben started breaking down and laughing at nothing,
but that doesn't count.
He didn't even have his headphones on, he was just
laughing at nothing.
Ruben: This is so awful!
*Starts laughing*
IHE (Alex): It's so bad, isn't it?
I don't even have the energy to laugh. R: *Laughs louder*
A: I really don't, it's so fucking, not anything.
It's mindless, it's fucking mindless.
R: For anyone,
if this makes it into this,
I've taken the headphones off,
I can't hear anything, I'm not laughing at a joke,
I'm laughing at I don't even know. A: Yeah, he is.
YouTube user: Chip Johnson
commented on the trailer for this movie saying:
Now apart from literally every single argument in that comment making absolutely no sense at all,
this is what I mean about comedy getting this weird pass,
even if it's complete trash.
Like horror movies.
"It's just a joke bro!"
"Why are you getting upset about comedy, man!"
It's like assaulting someone then screaming "It's just a prank!"
Oh wait.
And besides, this comment proves something else, too.
you're right there Chip,
this isn't normal Hollywood,
So why are they trying to make an epic adventure
movie with loads of special effect heavy sequences in it?
It's a contrast that could have been played for laughs under
the right writer,
but for example,
when the poorly composited bear turns into a guy in a bad bear costume for no reason,
I stopped even believing that it was supposed to be a joke.
Instead I thought about how this movie has no budget to pull off the things they're trying to do here.
I guess the real problem here is that nobody had any vision.
Nobody had a good idea for this movie before they made it,
they just looked at the checklist of things
they'd not done with the Smosh
brand, and 'make a movie'
was on the list.
So they did it.
It's like this movie has no idea who its audience is either.
IMDb claims it's a '15' (between PG-13 and R).
You know, for 15 year olds and up.
Which seems weird because Hot Fuzz
is a 15 as well, and
is way more crude, and way more violent
like way more.
It's also a really fucking good movie, too.
Unlike this one.
I really don't understand why they didn't
make this movie really absurdist like in their videos.
Instead it's so safe
and muted that I can barely
remember anything that happens.
Kids will find it really boring.
And they won't even be able to watch it because
it's a '15'.
It's too predictable, safe and unfunny for anyone older.
So what was even the point?
Oh wait, oh God!
I just realised I haven't told you a single thing that happens,
in terms of the...
*Large inhale*
Plot.
But if you've been able to understand
and assume my points are fair,
based off of the footage in the background,
along with my actual arguments, and any previous knowledge of this movie you may have had,
Or even the title, just knowing the title,
then it does nothing but prove my point even further
for how meaningless and
NOTHING
this movie is.
I suppose I should tell you what happens, it'll only take like 20 seconds anyway.
An embarrassing video of Anthony
making a fool of himself is
jeprodisring his chances of
getting with the girl who he likes.
But he needs to impress her in the high school
reunion that is coming up.
So they go to the YouTube headquarters to get
the video taken down.
But the boss of YouTube tells them that the only way to
the only way to get rid of it is to go inside the
video and change it
like Tron.
Kinda like how in 'Wreck-it-Ralph' there's a world for
every different video game,
but instead of it being video games,
it's YouTube videos.
So they fuck around in various YouTube videos for a while,
Anthony falls out with Ian when he finds out that it was
Ian who uploaded the original video and sent them
on this quest.
There's a monotonous chase scene with the head of YouTube who
is trying to kill him now, or whatever.
Then:
once they leave the YouTube videos and go back to the house
it's like a massive mansion now.
So they've like, changed time now.
So I guess it's also a time-travel movie.
I don't fucking know.
So instead of being huge shallow losers in
a pretty large suburban American house,
now instead, they're huge shallow losers with
trophy wives and a mansion.
So I guess that's okay.
Anthony gets the girl by making a fool of himself.
The end.
In the credits there's this montage of outtakes
which is ironically much funnier than anything in the movie because
it's the Smosh guys being their normal goofy selves.
So now you know what happens, do you see what I mean?
Honestly the details are completely irrelevant
if you want the specific details, just go and
watch the movie.
Although, be warned,
it's pretty bad.
And boring.
Mostly boring.
Nothing about this movie screams that it should even be a movie.
It seems like something that should have been released for free
on their channel,
much like the superior, much better movie that Ashens made.
That's a self-aware YouTube video that's better than average.
It's not amazing, but it's certainly more enjoyable than something like this.
It's also completely free to watch, so...
I don't know, maybe English people are just funnier.
Fuck you.
I went into this with an open mind.
I really did want it to be decent at the very least.
Or at least make me laugh once.
I don't have any bias towards Smosh and their content, so I'm really just
telling you as it is. Don't watch this movie.
Because it's awful.
It really is terrible.
It's a complete waste of everyone's time.
And up next for 'The Search For The Worst' is:
Woah momma.
Does anyone wanna save me from this fucking movie?
Thanks for watching!