>>> AND IN MY OPINION, THAT'S HOW WE MAKE THE FIRE GO AWAY.
>> OH, WOW, THANK YOU WOW. TO CONTINUE OUR CAREER DAY
PRESENTATIONS, WE'LL TURN IT OVER TO MALIKAY'S FATHER.
>> I HEAR HE'S SUPER OLD. IS THAT TRUE?
>> I DONT KNOW. HE'S A DAD.
DADS ARE OLD. >> I DON'T KNOW, HE'S A DAD.
DADS ARE OLD. >> GREETINGS, CHILDREN.
I'M MORDECAI'S FATHER. HELLO, BOY.
YOU LOOK WELL. LOOK AT YOUR FATHER, BOY.
LOOK UPON YOUR FATHER WITH PRIDE.
>> I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GEEZ. >> ALL RIGHT.
MR. PARNASSUS, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FOR A
LIVING? >> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW,
CHILDREN? SO, MY OCCUPATION IS OF MUCH
IMPORTANCE. FOR 82 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN AN OIL
MAN. A "BARREN," SOME HAVE CALLED ME.
NOW WHAT DOES AN OIL BARREN DO? AND THE ANSWER?
CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES. GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT.
MAKE THEM REGRET THEY WERE EVER BORN.
>> OH, SICK! >> WOW, RIGHT INTO THE DIRT.
SO, IF THE KIDS WANT TO PURSUE A CAREER IN OIL, WHAT KINDA TRAITS
WOULD SERVE THEM WELL? >> WELL, OIL IS NOT FOR THE
WEAK. IT IS THE EARTH'S MILK, AND ONLY
THE STRONG MAY SUCKLE AT MOTHER'S TEAT.
DO YOU HEAR ME, BOY? ONLY THE STRONG.
LOOK AT YOUR FATHER. LOOK AT ME.
>> LOOK AT HIM, MORDECAI. >> DAD, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
>> ONE MAN CAME CLOSE TO BREAKING ME.
H.R. PICKENS. HE DID NOT SUCCEED.
FOR I CRUSHED HIM INTO THE GROUND.
>> WHO IS H.R. PICKENS? >> EXACTLY.
>> HEY, SAMANTHA, LET'S STOP IT, OKAY?
YES. WELL, MR. PARNASSUS, THE OIL
BUSINESS, IT MUST BE PRETTY LUCRATIVE, RIGHT?
>> OIL HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH PROFIT, MA'AM.
OIL IS ABOUT DOMINATION OF THE SPIRIT.
ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE. CHILDREN, POINT TO THE WEAKEST
IN YOUR CLASS, AND WE SHALL RUIN THEIR SPIRIT, AS I'VE RUINED THE
SPIRIT OF H.R. PICKENS SO LONG AGO.
WORD. >> YOU ARE WEAK LIKE
H.R. PICKENS. >> FEEL THIS, BOY.
UNDERSTAND THE PAIN. YOU THINK I WAS ALWAYS THE
PICTURE OF STRENGTH I AM NOW? >> NO, DAD, YOU COULDN'T GET OUT
OF BED FOR A WEEK 'CAUSE THE MATTRESS WAS TOO SOFT.
>> MIND OVER FLESH, BOY. I WAS BORN SEVEN MONTHS TOO
EARLY. INCUBATION TECHNOLOGY WAS STILL
IN IT'S INFANCY. SO, THEY PLACED ME INTO A CAST
IRON POT INSIDE A PIZZA OVEN UNTIL I WAS RIPE ENOUGH TO WALK.
MY BONES NEVER HARDENED, BUT MY SPIRIT DID.
BE STRONG, AND CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES.
>> WELL, THIS HAS BEEN OUTSTANDING, MR. PARNASSUS, BUT
UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF TIME.
OH, BOO. SO, DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY
QUESTIONS FOR MORDECAI'S DAD? >> YEAH, YEAH.
I GET THAT YOU'RE AN OIL BARREN, BUT WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO?
>> SO, PERHAPS I WAS NOT CLEAR. LUCKILY, I BROUGHT A VISUAL AID
WHICH WILL ILLUMINATE THE INS AND OUTS OF THE OIL INDUSTRY.
♪♪♪ >> OH.
>> THIS DEAD BIRD REPRESENTS THOSE WHO WILL WISH YOU ILL.
ONCE PROUD, FLYING HIGH ABOVE THE EARTH IN BLOODY DEFIANCE OF
HER 50 GIFTS AND NOW YOU WILL THROW HER DOWN, NOCED AND
DEFEATED. >> OWW.
>> LOOK. I MARRIED YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
FILLED HER BELLY WITH MY FESTERING SEED AND SIRED A BOY.
HE IS MY FATEFUL REVENGE, H.R. >> DAD, COME ON.
>> I WANT TO BE YOU WHEN I GROW UP.
>> AND SO, YOU SHALL. NOW, CHILDREN.
I WAS ASKED TO BRING A HEALTHY SNACK, SO JOIN ME IN THE HALL
FOR SWINE LIVERS AND CAPRI SUNS. >> ALL RIGHT, KIDS.
GO OUT AND EAT THOSE PIG GUTS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪