Hi guys, Brad Browning here with another video about breakups and relationships…
this time I’m going to talk about why breakups happen, and I’ll explain four of the most
common things that cause relationships to fail.
For most people watching this video, there’s a very good chance that one of these four
things I’m about to discuss was the main reason behind your breakup.
Now, there’s one very important thing you need to be aware of before I go any further.
And that’s that your ex almost certainly lied to you after your breakup.
99% of the time, person who initiated the breakup will lie about why they want to end
things.
Sometimes it’s more of a “partial truth” than a blatant lie…. sometimes it’s a
subconscious lie… but, if your ex told you why he or she wanted to break up, I can almost
guarantee you that it was a lie, or at the very least only partially true.
This is something I’ve learned after years of coaching, having worked with thousands
of people who are recovering from a breakup.
So trust me on this…. unless it was something totally obvious that led to your breakup,
like your ex walking in on your while you were naked in bed with the office intern,
then you probably don’t really know why our ex wanted to break up.
Granted, the same underlying cause is behind every relationship…. and that’s a loss
of attraction.
Your ex lost his or her attraction for you.
But the real question, and what your ex almost certainly lied about, is WHY that attraction
faded.
Sometimes your ex may not actually know why -- often times it happens slowly, as a result
of several things.
Other times, your ex may tell you something was the reason behind his or her decision,
but that was only one of several issues.
Or sometimes, to avoid hurting you further, your ex will just pick something generic and
tell you that was the reason.
You know the saying, “it’s not you, it’s me”?
It’s cheesy and cliche, sure, but it’s also a great example of something your ex
might say to avoid discussing the real reasons behind the breakup.
So, what are the real reasons that led to your breakup?
I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing it was one of these four common “attraction-killing
traits”....
Attraction Killer #1: Being “needy” or “clingy”.
This is a very common trait that many people exhibit in a relationship.
Why your partner may seem to think it’s “cute”, it’s actually one of the biggest
relationship killers.
Yes, as weird as it sounds, studies have shown that being that “clingy” girlfriend or
boyfriend is actually a massive, massive turn off.
Human beings need a challenge.
When something becomes “too easy” it’s human nature to just pickup and get going,
and this sort of survival mechanism is our way of saying, “find a new challenge, I’m
bored!”
People also hate feeling “tied down” and get easily frustrated when someone is constantly
pestering them or requiring their attention.
This toxic trait doesn’t just happen to women….
men are almost as likely to be guilty of excessive “neediness” too.
If you’re not sure what I mean when I say “needy” or “cling,” watch the movie
“Wedding Crashers”.... it’s a very funny movie, but there’s also a red-headed girl
who chases Vince Vaughn around for most of the movie.
She’s a perfect example of what it means to be “clingy”.
Attraction Killer #2: Being too controlling or jealous.
Yes, this is another big reasons why relationships don’t work out.
Being way too controlling over your partner will actually give you less control in the
end.
That’s right.
Typically, the more controlling one partner gets, the more the other partner will try
and break free… and eventually when that happens, there’s almost no turning back.
If you were guilty of this, learn to manage your jealousy.
It’s a huge sign of insecurity, and it’s never going to actually have any benefit or
positive outcome.
Jealousy is a natural emotion all humans will feel (unless they’re a sociopath)... the
key is controlling that jealousy rather than controlling your partner.
Attraction Killer #3: Boredom and complacency.
Both men and women have an equal desire for fun and excitement.
The need for adventure and excitement varies from person to person, but no-one wants to
be stuck in the same boring routine forever.
Every relationship needs to have some element of fun and excitement…
you don’t have to go skydiving every week or wear a different ridiculous costume every
time you have sex, but you do need to keep things interesting and avoid being too complacent.
Often, when the “spark” fades and a relationship stops being “new and exciting,” neither
partner will make any real effort to keep things interesting.
That’s a huge mistake.
You need to make sure that your partner is having fun and maintains their interest in
you and your relationship.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even the best relationships require some maintenance
and work, so if you want to live happily ever after then both you and your
better half need to put in the work to keep the spark alive and avoid falling into a boring,
passion-less routine.
Attraction Killer #4: Infidelity.
This one is pretty simple… if you cheat, you’re basically ruining your relationship.
But, not only is infidelity a surefire ticket to being single, it also causes fundamental
trust problems.
To enjoy a real, mature, and long-lasting relationship you need to trust your partner,
and vice versa.
Any kind of infidelity will have a negative impact on trust, and lack of trust causes
insecurity and jealousy, and I’ve already explained how those can kill a relationship,
too.
Different people define “cheating” differently, so if you want to avoid any trust issues,
make sure you both agree on what constitutes cheating…. and then stay faithful!
So, those are the four major “attraction killers”....
I’m sure by now you’ve identified which of these things was most responsible for your
breakup.
It may have been a combination of several, or it may just have been that you did something
that really rubbed your ex the wrong way.
If your goal is to get back together with your ex and start fresh, then you may be wondering
whether it’s worth your time to try and fix things…. maybe you’re wondering if
it’s hopeless and you should just be moving on.
To help you figure out what your odds are, take the free quiz at my website…
I’ve put a link to the quiz in the description below this video, so just click on that link,
or visit www.BreakupBrad.com/Quiz to take the quiz now.
It takes about 5 minutes to finish the quiz and your results report will be available
right away.
For more help, you can also watch the free in-depth video presentation I’ve put up
on my website…. the address is www.BreakupBrad.com, so if you need more guidance on winning back
your ex, then head over there now and watch the video before you do anything else.
Thanks for watching this video, and all the best with your future relationships!