Monogamy, or being in a relationship with one person, is actually very uncommon among mammals.
With only about 3% displaying monogamous bonding.
So what's the deal with humans?
Is it really better to be with one person for your entire life?
Historically humans did not practice monogamy.
The anthropological record indicates that tens of thousands of years ago
approximately 85% of human societies were composed of men with more than one partner
The reason why most of the world has shifted to socially imposed monogamy is debated among scientists,
but a leading hypothesis is to minimize the risk of sexually transmitted infection.
As human societies transitioned from small hunter gatherer societies
to larger densely populated agricultural societies,
models show the shift in lifestyle would allow STI's to proliferate causing death and infertility.
But, while monogamy may have evolved to prevent STI's, what about now?
Many maintain they are in a monogamous relationship, but are actually committing infidelity.
Estimates of cheating among married Americans range from 21%-57% among men,
and 11%-35% among women.
In fact, a study of college students in exclusive relationships
found that 1 in 5 admit to using tinder on the side,
and those who identify as monogamous are less likely to practice safer sex including condom use and STI testing.
As they fear introducing these practices into a relationship may create suspicion.
However, those in consensual non-monogamous relationships are more likely to use condoms for both vaginal and anal intercourse,
be screened regularly for STI's, and discuss external sexual encounters with their primary partner.
So, now it seems those in consensually non-monogamous relationships may be at a lower risk for STI's than monogamous.
A study using 1,500 individuals in monogamous partnerships
and 617 individuals in consensual non-monogamous relationships
found no significant differences on relationship function, overall satisfaction, commitment, and passionate love.
In fact, jealously was lower and trust was higher in individuals who were not monogamous.
Skeptical of these results?
You're not alone.
A study had participants read a brief description of hypothetical research results
which read: In general polyamorous couples had more positive outcomes than monogamous couples.
Participants would rate this statement as unfairly biased.
Where as if the exact same statement was switched to favor monogamous relationships
it would be rated as less biased.
These results help show how we're primed to think that monogamous relationships
are more loving, committed, and satisfying.
While consensual non-monogamous relationships like swinging, polyamory, and open relationships are often viewed negatively.
This doesn't mean that you and your boo should just open things up though.
Monogamy may work great for some, but not others.
One study found that men and women who wanted to engage in casual sex
were more likely to have higher levels of testosterone,
but this group may still be in the minority.
In a self- reported study of ideal mating arrangements
it was found that both men and women overwhelmingly prefer strictly monogamous mating arrangements when asked to choose
So, whether you prefer to keep your relationship to one person or to multiple
research is finding there are many ways to have a committed, satisfying, and loving relationship,
and monogamy is not the sole gold standard.
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