-Today we're gonna go visit the Quakers,
and if you don't know what a Quaker is,
then I agree with you.
But apparently it's a religion
and not just a brand of oats.
And we're meeting with Joe,
who has been a Quaker for 50 years,
so obviously there's something great to it.
Good morning.
So, we're here at Joe's place.
Joe's a Quaker. I'm gonna call him "Quaker Joe."
And we're gonna learn about Quakerism today.
It's very early in the morning,
but I'm very excited,
and I'll try not to make too many Quaker Oats jokes.
But I've got a few. So, we're gonna --
Come on. Let's go.
I'm excited to talk to you,
and if I say anything that offends you,
just punch me right in the face.
-I wouldn't worry. We Quakers are not easily offended.
-Let's get this out of the way right off the bat.
What is your feeling on oatmeal?
-I don't like oatmeal.
-Blasphemy. -[ Laughs ] I know.
-That's my exposure to Quakerism.
-The guy on the box -- black hat.
-Yeah, and a very jolly fellow, so...
-I think most people would describe me as pretty jolly.
-You just have a very warm personality, I've got to say.
-Thank you, Zach.
-So, how long have you been a Quaker?
-Oh. 45 years.
-45 years? -Can you believe it?
-What was your relationship with faith and God before that?
-You know, as a gay man,
I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere.
I also didn't feel like I fit in
because I was one of those people who enlisted.
-Oh, wow. -What I understood about the war
from those three years made me a pacifist.
So, when I got out of the Navy
and looked for a church that was a peace church,
and I discovered Quakers.
And I've been a Quaker ever since.
I think they'd be the only church that would have me.
-I don't want to speak for all churches,
but if I started a church, I would have you.
-Well, thank you, Zach.
People come together on a Sunday morning at 11:00,
and they fill up the pews.
Then everybody settles into silence.
The object is to find that of God within you.
We believe that every person has a light within
and that light is your connection with God.
[music] Walk in the light [music]
[music] Wherever you may be [music]
[music] Walk in the light wherever you may be [music]
[music] In my old leather britches and my shaggy, shaggy locks [music]
[music] "I am walking in the glory of the light," said Fox [music]
-[ Laughs ]
When you connect with it,
you get messages.
You know, if you believe that God talks to you,
that could very nice.
It could also be very dangerous,
because you could believe
that Zach should go down the street
naked in his wheelchair.
-What's wrong with that? Hey, hey, hey!
If I get that message from God, I'm taking it.
-So, one of the responsibilities we have
is to check it out with the meeting, say,
"I think God told me to do this."
And then I would say to you, "Zach,
let's think about that again."
-I'd probably show up already naked
and say, "Is this okay?"
-I'd say, "Let's think about that."
You know, you can tell it's a Quaker gathering
by the number of Priuses in the parking lot
and the number of Birkenstocks on the floor.
-Oh, man.
-As Quakers grew to understand their religious beliefs,
they developed what are called testimonies.
And the testimonies are really how we talk about how we live.
So, we have a peace testimony.
So, if you're a Quaker,
you're committed to searching for peace
in yourself and in the world.
And we have an integrity testimony.
So, you have to tell the truth all the time.
-All the time? -All the time.
-Oh, my gosh. -Even when it hurts.
We have a testimony of equality.
Everybody's equal. No one,
even the clerk of the meeting,
is not better than any of the members of the meeting.
-Equality for all. -For all.
David is my husband who recently died.
When I met him, he had HIV.
And so we knew when we got together
that we were gonna be dealing with lots of health issues.
He would mediate me. I'm kind of this bombastic Italian guy.
And he would say, "Joe, Joe, calm down, Joe."
We had a great marriage,
and I'm really missing him.
The interesting thing is that, you know, lots of religions
have their ideas about same-sex marriage.
Some of them try to impose their ideas
on the rest of the population,
so you get the sense
that religion is against it.
But David and I were married
four years ago in our Quaker meeting.
'Cause Quaker meetings believe that it's God who marries you.
What happens then is that Quaker meeting says,
"Does it look like God has married these two people?"
And if it looks like it did, then they marry us.
People come together for --
like they always do on Sunday -- for worship.
And this time, people stood up during the course of the meeting
and said what they thought about David
or me or the marriage.
The most moving one was when a guy
stood up and said, "Everybody
who signs that marriage certificate
is saying, 'We're doing this illegal thing.
We're saying these two ought to be married.'"
-Just because the government doesn't recognize it
doesn't mean that God doesn't recognize it.
-That's right. You got it, Zach.
Want to be a Quaker? -I kind of do.
You're selling it pretty nicely.
-One of the biggest parts, for me,
of the Quaker faith is forming a faith community.
One of the things that happens in a marriage
is the meeting agrees to take you on.
When you get into trouble,
you know, which happens in every relationship
where things are not quite fitting,
they agree to help.
And when David was dying in the hospital,
I had the meeting helping me.
-What has that meant to you
now that David isn't here?
-It feels like home.
Orange Grove meeting feels like home to me.
They were there to support David and I
all through our marriage process.
They were there at the beginning to share the joy with us.
[ Voice breaking ] They were there at the end.
We believe in what's called continuing revelation.
So, I was just talking the other day
to the Quaker meeting, and I said,
"If you think this is what Quakerism is,
then you're not being very Quakerly
'cause you have to be open to change."
So, one of the exciting things about Quakerism
is that it's always changing.
And we have people in the meeting
who are Buddhist and people in the meeting who are Jews.
The only commitment that we ask of people
is that they be open to change.
-Okay. Quakerism is more than oatmeal.
In the same way that oatmeal is nourishing to the body,
Quakerism is nourishing to the spirit.
So, it is the oatmeal of the spirit.
There you go. I summed it up.