[Applause]
come on samantha let's step on up let's
do this y'all keep it going for
platinum teams up while out
nicholas cannon
i wonder if he likes corny jokes
because i got one original hey
nick what do you call a trash can
that can't do anything right
our garbage can
[Applause]
you mother sucker i know you can't tell
right now but i have a black eye
if you ever want to see me just close
your eyes
you like to swallow huh
but did you know besides this sexy
blonde hair
in these beautiful luscious breasts that
only i'm only sexy
i'm also a squirter
[Applause]
ah
i wish you could show me a nipple
these are your thoughts not mine
nick booked me on the show because he
knows about me
see this beautiful body these luscious
luscious breasts
but he ain't seen this
[Applause]
platinum team wins make some noise
i got a joke it's an original joke
hey trina what is
a fats person's favorite number
[Laughter]
eight
[Applause]
the baddest look at nick
oh nick cannon i remember him from all
that and all that
he a little cutie single now i might
give him a chance he got a little bit of
money and all
but you know what i take that back cause
thinking about it his breath probably
still smelling like mariah groceries
oh so you just ass proudly huh
nick like ass that's just we make some
noise for the ass
right there don't wipe it off now there
we go
[Applause]
[Music]
hey it's okay it's okay
[Applause]
i know i may sound like the popeyes lady
but i ain't i'm training baby
i heard you like cougars baby but you
won't love this black panther
right here baby it's got herbs and
spices
it's better than my chicken
[Applause]
so the platinum team wins make some
noise
[Music]
[Applause]
yes jules i'm not going to talk about
your league sex tape
but if you ever decide to do another sex
tape
i came up with some suggestions of what
you should call it
um the bald and the booty full
baldy and the beast
timothy de la ghetto and yes jewels make
a sex tape
um yes jules thoughts i hope nick cannon
like well
i know he'll like corny jokes because
he's corny so
i wonder if he'll laugh at these
who do chickens vote for during the
presidential election
let's go dc all right
now look check this out i'm gonna give
your ass two options
all right one option is i ain't gonna
roast your little tummy dill pickle head
ass
she swallowed she swallowed [ __ ]
oh i got to respect
[Applause]
the dj direct make some sense out of
this he came to play
the red team spit the most so the black
team wins make some noise for him
let's get to it
hey new york how you doing how you doing
i'm wendy williams and i just want to
let nick
[Applause]
oh you vowed for
[Applause]
that sounds like a kind of orange juice
right there start your day with a glass
of sunbury
all right uh look summary i ain't really
got too much to say but
look at nick legs look how skinny his
legs is
oh my god boy you got the legs like the
little bugs off men in black that was
smoking a cigarette
why are you laughing i'm gonna remix
your song no you remember your son you a
jig hello
and you host the show even though you
got legs like a flamingo
come on nick
summer rae she's hot i mean smoking hot
i mean her body not that i was online
diddling my skittle to her or anything
but
if i was grade a great material
now i know you've been in the gym
working on your fitness as well
we want to see how your body measures up
to her so you have two choices
you can either spit or take your shirt
off ladies you want to see nick with the
shirt off
take it off take it up
don't mess up the turban everything nick
you're damn right boys that's not just
paying off
he didn't spit but ladies you're welcome
hey hey nick that's cool you big up top
but what about the legs my
[Applause]
damn i can't believe it on my team i
have
mgk it's so cool i have mgk i want to
tell him but i
i don't know if i should i'll tell him
mgk please
please be white again
hey man why nick keep wearing these
turbans sitting there looking like a
strong black woman
t-rex make some sense out of this nick
you spit the most so the black squad
wins make some more for the black squad
squad voila
look man that's crazy though
you you kind of look like when kiki was
that lesbian pimp in that movie
okay everybody uh i'm gonna need you to
snap right i got some spoken word
everybody snap it up
spoken word inspired by kiki
ki key key key
use a key key
[Applause]
well damn all right
[ __ ] i see why you keep that turban on
tight-ass braids look like you got a mac
ring
[Music]
[Applause]
hey i got a question i know it's
probably going to be crazy because i
know this but
i bet your hair braided just like that
up under that wig
kiki's thoughts
i wonder if guys know that girls talk
about sex just like they do to their
friends
my girl came home and said she let him
hit
i asked her was it good she said yes i
said did you
because she said yes i said let me smell
your breath
she said i said oh yeah girl that's that
[Music]
[Applause]
shut up don't talk to me y'all gonna
stop trying me like i'm some type of
sample
you dressed like it's the first day of
school and you got the same head as a
ninja turtle stop playing with me
oh what
[Applause]
what's up punching bag buddy what's up i
can't tell if this is wild now or
spongebob with them jelly 50 glasses on
keep going what's up
out of this man who won the game nick
cannon spit the most so the black squad
wins make some money for the black squad
got a headband no problem
head looking like a bus condom all right
hey nick i bet you ain't no dc turn into
designer when the moon come out
hey look nick look we outside one night
these he just stopped going
to hell wrong with you he said all day
on the moon i gotta go back in the house
i ain't gonna be a full moon
how you doing shoehog you married
kinda oh you got that ring
would you cheat on your husband i mean
if you would leave the water in your
mouth
what's your number there
no no no no i'm out
nick nick hey nick you know they got a
new lion king movie coming out right
you're not gonna like it though because
like it starts like this right
the sun rises over the horizon hi
mariah she's your baby mama
i'm doing that joke to life
how you doing today my name is nick
cannon i look like a cross between jimi
hendrix and the deacon that steals from
the offering pig on wednesday night
bible study
[Music]
this is rachel's thoughts speaking i
don't know what's worse
the clothes are nowhere or the fact
mariah
went and found a billionaire
parental advisory these are nicholas
boy your head stank i really have this
on my mind and i think the world should
know
boy yo
[Applause]
for being such a good sport
t-rex who won that game nick you spit
the most so the black squad wins make
some noise for the black squad they came
to play everybody on
their feet dj's direct takers