Exes. Aargh! It can be frustrating. Today I want to help you girls get over your ex.
I want to show you two absolutely killer exercises and give you a couple of action steps so that
you can quickly or even instantly get over your ex and move on to bigger and better things
to come.
[Music]
Alright ladies, so today we're talking about how to get over an ex. So I think this is
a topic that every single one of us has struggled with at some point. It's super, super common
to have relapses about your ex, but what I want to do today is give you a couple of strategies
that I use all the time that are really effective in helping you get over your ex. I'm going
to give you two exercises that you can do right now at home that are gonna take the
power away that he has in your head and remove a bit of the fantasy because a lot of it is
a fantasy. It's a lot of it is us looking back with a bit of a grass is greener point
of view and I think logically, you guys probably are aware that you know it wasn't quite as
good as you're making it out to be in your head but emotionally you still miss him so
much and that's what I want to help your solve today.
So before I get into the two exercises, just a point, you do have to be no contact with
your ex. I talked to a lot of girls who want to contact their ex and, and the biggest thing
I hear is to get closure and it's not something that you need to be talking to your ex to
do. Closure is something that comes from inside you. It comes from your own processing. It
comes from when you've made sense of everything that happened in your own mind. So I wanted
to touch on that because the more you contact your ex, the more you're going to delay this
process and the more you're going to struggle to get over him. If you have to contact your
ex because you have kids or work or something together, then just make sure you keep everything
super professional and no personal stuff at all because the less personal you can make
contact with your ex, ideally not at all, the easier you're going to have it. All right.
So I want to show you these two exercises that are gonna help you get over it.
All right girls. So today I'm going to give you two super powerful exercises that are
going to help you get over your ex quicker than you ever thought possible. So I use these
with girls all the time and it really speeds up the process. So in the first exercise,
what you want to do is draw two columns on a whiteboard or a piece of paper. Now in the
left column you want to label it positives and the right column, you want to label that
negatives,
Okay now, what do you want to do in this exercise, girls, is you want to fill out these columns.
So these are the positives and the negatives of the man, the guy you've been missing and
of the relationship. So you start with the positives and what you want to do is think
back to all the positive things. So this is probably really easy for you because you've
been missing this guy, you've been struggling to get over him a little bit. And so to begin
with, you want to list all the positives of the relationship. Now this might seem like
a counterintuitive thing to do to get over an ex, but it's really powerful once we balance
it out with the negatives. So let's say for example, he was quirky, he was fun to be around,
maybe he was great in bed. You write all those positives in the left hand column and do you
want to keep going with this list girls until you've exhausted all the positives in your
mind. So everything that was positive about the guy and the relationship, you want to
put them all in this left hand column.
And then the second part of this exercise is about the negative. So what you want to
do is fill out all the negatives of the guy in the relationship. And you're going to find
this a little bit harder, but the goal is to create balance. So for a long time you'd
been looking back on this relationship as if it was kind of more positive than it was
like rose colored glasses kind of idea. So you want to brainstorm and it's going to take
you a little longer than the positive column, but you want to brainstorm all the negatives
of the guy and the relationships, all the things that didn't work. Now, for example,
was he a poor communicator? Um, was he rude to you sometimes? You want to pop those in
the negative column.
So you want to think back to all the negatives from the guy and the relationship and put
them all through until you have an even number on both sides. And what this exercise achieves
is that when you look at this and you see an even number of both sides, you're going
to see this relationship with a lot more balanced and your brain's going to be forced to recognize
that. Yeah, there was some good things that you've obviously been missing, but there were
also a heap of things that didn't work about the relationship and were broken about it.
It's going to really create that balance in your mind. All right, girls. And now the second
exercise. So the second exercise is a really powerful one where you take what you've learned
in the first exercise and you push it forward into the future.
So what you want to do is you write 10 years at the top of the piece of paper and we're
going to do some projections. Your job is to select the biggest negatives. So the three
biggest negative traits that you wrote about in the negative column and project them out
into the future. So let's say you take the three that I've written here. So you decide
your biggest three are, they guy was a poor communicator, the guy was rude and the guy
was often late to things. What you want to do now is take those and project them 10 years
into the future as if the two of you had stayed together. And what this is going to do is
it's gonna really help you see how bad things could have been and how all these traits would
have affected your relationship moving forward. So your job is to write out exactly how it
would have been in a relationship when you're with a guy like this.
So how would it feel 10 years from now to be with a guy who was a poor communicator?
What does that feel like every day? You know, he's not talking to you properly, he's not
discussing relationship problems. Uh, you know, 10 years from now you guys are probably
had kids, so he's not discussing problems with you about the kids properly. He's just
not going through and communicating with you in a relationship. How would that feel? And
when you do this thoroughly, you're going to really see how those negative traits would
have affected that relationship in the future and how unhappy you would have been with the
guy who exhibited those traits. As you do this and you go through each of these, your
mind will start to see what things would have been like if you'd stayed with this guy and
you're going to start to miss that guy so much less.
Now. You're going to have times where you still miss him again. You're going to do an
exercise like this and then five days from now you're going to miss him again and you're
going to be like, that stupid exercise Mark gave me, doesn't work? This is just, I'm never
going to get over this guy, blah, but it's cool. We all have relapses. We all have times
where we go back and miss someone a bit more. It just means you go back, you read your exercise
again and you reinforce in your mind that there was as much good as there was bad and
that these things would have been really bad moving forward in the future. Now girls, there's
a little bit of a bonus exercise. There's one more thing you can do. What you want to
do is write about your perfect relationship 10 years from now.
So make some notes on how that relationship would look. How would your ideal relationship
look with a guy that loves you and cherishes you and gives you the quality, time and attention
that you deserve? How would that look? And every time you miss your ex, every time you
feel like you're relapsing and you're going, Oh, I really miss this guy again. I just don't,
I can't get over him. Take a look at your perfect relationship and compare it to the
10 year projections as to what that guy would've been. And you're going to see that that wasn't
the relationship you want and that the guy you want is still out there for you and the
relationship you want is well on its way.
So girls, I hope those exercises help you get over your ex. Anytime you feel a relapse,
and you will from time to time, you will miss him again. Make sure you compare your perfect
relationship with the 10 year version that we came up with. And every time your brain
sees the difference, it's going to weaken that connection in your mind. Uh did this
process work for you, did it not? I'd love to hear your feedback if we can improve it
at all. Or if you have other suggestions that have helped girls, maybe yourself or girls
you know, to get over their exes, I love to share them. I want to build a community around
this so that we can get lots of girls helping each other. So make sure you post them in
the comments.
Seriously. Put them down. Check out the blog as well, makehimyours.com.au If you enjoyed
the video, if you've got something out of it, share it around, give it a thumbs up.
I'd love to have you subscribe to the channel, so make sure you do that as well. Let me know
how it goes, girls, I'll see you very soon.