Jaakko I struggle with receiving banter from other guys banter okay I'm
naturally a sensitive guy which lends myself to take normal smack talk from
other guys personally I'm trying to get after it I wake up early I work out eat
healthy work pretty hard but still seem to have some deep-seated insecurities
which flare up when guys give me stick I have some bloody good mates and I want
to get to the point where I can take smack talk for what it is and even give
a bit of stick back to the guys what can I do to help this here's one thing that
you can try to get into your brain and this is one of those things that's hard
to get into your brain and it's even harder to actually get it your brain and
functionally use this thought here's the thought the more okay if you're if
you're paranoid about something if you're insecure about something the more
you let things bother you the more insecure you will appear hmm but let me
say it again the more you let things bother you the
more insecure you're going to appear and the worse whatever that thing that
you're worried about whatever that thing that makes you feel insecure the worse
it's going to appear to everyone else so if you got a big nose and you're
embarrassed because you've got a big nose and every time someone says
something about your big nose you get mad and you get offended that big nose
it glows even bigger so think about that if there's something that bothers you
and you let it be known and you let it bother you divorce it's gonna get and
and also think about this another thing that will help these are things I'm
trying to help help sort of smooth the edges of insecurity here's another one
people even though you think you really think they are and it's kind of
egotistical to think this but we all do it people aren't sitting around and
thinking about you and your weaknesses yeah
they're not sitting around and thinking about you and your weaknesses they're
not like that's your ego telling you that so don't sit there and think
everyone's looking at your big nose all the time they don't care they got their
other problems they got their own life going on they don't care about your big
nose you know what makes them care about it when they know if they say something
you it bothers you oh yeah that's the first thing you're gonna think when they
see you again oh here comes a good time for some fun and here's another thing if
you want to kind of mitigate that man they do it do it
mark doesn't weigh the warrior kid when Uncle Jake says hey if you're getting
made fun of he's in way the word kid called plate face yeah
say mark oh you got around this guy Nathan James is telling mark oh you got
a round face you look like a plate calls him plate face that's his insult as he
insults him all the time and it bothers him he's looking in the mirror go away
lets it bother him and Uncle Jake says hey go go make fun of yourself and he
finally gets a chance he does a there you know a class and they have to do a
self portrait and he draws himself as a plate a plate face and when the kid
that's been making fun of it season he laughs and then guess what doesn't make
fun of him anymore about it because he realizes it doesn't bother and they kind
of bond a little bit they kind of moms actually what he's going for
in this question that is yeah yeah so you got him any see it's this is what
that's why I said it's hard to do this because when you're insecure about your
big nose or you're insecure about your big ears or whatever and you let people
know that or you just think it's in your brain you think if you say something
that's gonna be remorse it won't get worse yeah might get worse for uptick
for a second right it might you make fun of yourself you know people
oh yeah that's right you notice that you do it yeah then it'll kind of no one
really cares and that's why in the teams in the teams you never let anyone know
that something bothers you or if they know it bothers you you're gonna hear
about it forever that's just gonna be how this is the way it's gonna be and
what that means the polar opposite of that or the flip side of that is it's
not fun to harass some it's not fun to harass someone about something that
doesn't bother them it's not even fun right it's not fun why would you harass
someone when they don't get it you don't even get a rise out of him yeah it's not
fun you just leave that thing you look for something else yeah so poke a little
fun at yourself these guys are gonna back off because
they're bored if you show no reaction and like you said that that kind of
self-deprecating humor will form a little bond yeah you can give a little
stick back to the guys if you start giving stick to guys be ready to take it
back though yes and they're gonna escalate yeah and the that's just uh I
mean I grew up with two brothers mm-hmm one twin brother and that's like like
that's literally the foundation of our relationship it's just you tease the
other guy about some let everything like you he can come in with a new shirt on
that's a seal platoon yeah like it'll be like oh sure you know
like that's not even something to you someone they sell men's shirts where you
bought that yeah yeah whatever it's Lear that's it's so bad to the
point where one um when when I got with my current wife Fullmer when we started
dating or whatever like it's just habit you know like even you like same thing
you know like you'll you'll give me crap I'll give you him whatever but it's so
common that I do it to hurt you oh yeah yeah and you know at first she's like Oh
what like what why are you teasing me so much like you're because I know even
before we were together I knew her for gears actually and he's
like I kind of knowing you know he's like teases or whatever and I had it's
like reel it back yourself in check yeah because that because that is so so much
of how guys do yeah you know hundred percent okay and I've told this story
before when I got when I was going to college and what's around team guys all
day and I started doing the team guy thing with my wife she's like hey I'm
not in the teams so you can be quiet now and I was like wow she's right and I'd
even realize it cuz that's just you know all day long you show up at a you show
up in the platoon space and it's verbal sparring yes as soon as you walk through
the door somebody's gonna say something they're gonna bring it and what's
interesting is Holly's how do you think I want to get to the point where you
know he can Spector with thing is I would agree with this probably even 110
percent which is hard to agree hundred percent but I feel this way it's
probably stronger than him like you ever been around someone who like you just
can't really joke around with like I'm not I who I'll tease someone and try to
like to make them you know specially I don't know I'm good or whatever but um
the but if you're around someone who like can't really take it you can't joke
around with them it's like men want that guy to be their man I wish he just
wasn't you know I'm not mad at all but I just I don't hang around with that guy
you don't want to be that guy no so even if like it's fish at first like let's
say okay I'm this guy right here the worst is someone that can dish it out
but can't take it yeah but yeah that is the worst it's I don't I would the only
reason I wouldn't say he's the worth is what if he's dishing it out and he can't
take it it's kind of you get a payoff of teasing the guy I'm saying true it let's
say he doesn't dish it out let's say it's just a guy you just can't joke
around with this like man you're making me uncomfortable kind of thing you know
but if this guy cuz you what's your point if it's yeah if float is annoying
when people can't take it and you make a joke and they get all fired up and then
they're like actually mad right yeah that's that is that's well that's how
you end up with people that aren't really your friends oh yes exactly right
so but yes yes so you get there man hey I say get there in at first just and you
kind of made it really clear to me how you know when you make a change or
something it's not gonna bone your arteries with the change going
full-speed you know what do you say blow drag it's not gonna be like their reddit
for especially with this kind of stuff if you if you already know you're
insecure yeah which is a big step ahead by the way some people don't know
insecure and meanwhile they're he's admitting it they know it but they just
don't admit it yeah so just got you know so but you're
gonna feel it man when they call you bit you know whatever they're calling you
whatever you're gonna sort of feel it on the inside still but just don't behave
you know in a way just like god I don't know I don't know what to do this plenty
of things to do but yeah I mean you do want to get there 100% yeah jack