Hey there, viewers!
Dealing with manipulative people in your life?
I feel for you.
Manipulators are the worst people.
They destroy your self esteem and make life so much harder.
They’ll fill you with doubt to the point where you will keep second guessing yourself.
In today’s video, we will be discussing 9 ways to outsmart manipulative people.
Spotting and understanding these people is the right start.
But what more can you do?
Does setting boundaries help?
How about keeping track of everything and not getting emotionally involved.
We’ll be talking about all of these AND many more...
Spotting and Understanding a Manipulator
The first step towards outsmarting manipulative people is to learn how to spot them.
You need to understand how they operate to beat them at their own game.
If your gut tells you someone is manipulative, trust it, you’re onto something.
Manipulative people have certain behavioral patterns.
They will somehow get you to talk more and more about you, without sharing anything about
themselves.
By doing this, they’re learning more about your strengths and weaknesses.
They’re testing your boundaries.
And are waiting for a slip of the tongue.
Listen to your gut and don’t fall prey to their manipulative tactics.
Manipulators present themselves as your only well wishers.
Pay attention to how they make you feel.
Do you feel insecure and worried after having a conversation with them?
Like everyone except that person is against you?
If yes, you are likely being manipulated.
Do you know a manipulator?
How do you deal with them?
When was the first time you realized you are being manipulated?
Share your stories with the Bestie community in the comments below.
Learn to say no and stand by it
“No” is a complete sentence.
One of the most effective strategies to deal with manipulators is to stand up for yourself.
Say no and stand by it.
Without any ounce of guilt.
You don’t want your manipulating sister in law to stay at your place for one month?
Tell her no right away.
Continue holding your ground.
No matter how many times she tries pulling the ‘we are family’ card.
If you think her toxic ways aren't welcome in your house, keep saying no without feeling
guilty.
One NO can save you from severe discomfort.
And when you keep doing this over and over, the manipulator in your life will get a clear
message- YOU CANNOT BE DUPED INTO DOING THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO DO.
I wish somebody taught me the value of ‘NO’!
It is pretty amazing.
Test yourself and see.
Avoid or ignore them
At the risk of stating the obvious, avoid manipulators as often as you can.
We all know we should do this, but sometimes we need to be reminded to kick manipulators
out of our lives.
They are not worth the drama at all.
You will save a lot of emotional energy by avoiding having any contact with a manipulator.
They twist facts, change narratives, and gaslight you.
Master manipulators are so skilled, they make you doubt your own reality.
It’s best for you to kick them out of your life.
But I understand avoiding contact isn’t possible in all circumstances.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice.
What if your boss is a manipulator?
Or you’re in a situation where you have to be around one all the time.
In that case, ignore them as much as you can.
Don’t feed into their drama.
If you think you can have a logical argument with them or somehow make them see your side,
well...
LOL.
That’s not going to happen.
Listen to them, just nod, and do whatever YOU want to do.
Set personal boundaries and stick to them
You know what the majority of manipulators fear most?
People who set firm boundaries.
That’s the biggest challenge for them.
Because their manipulative tricks do not work on such people.
Do you see where we’re going with this?
If you want to outsmart a manipulative person in your life, you need to set personal boundaries.
You also need to enforce them.
Let it be known that you won’t compromise with your basic values and boundaries.
It’s a lot easier to set boundaries at the beginning of a relationship.
But life happens and sometimes we realize the importance of it AFTER a few incidents
of manipulation.
Still, it’s not too late.
Let it be known you will never accept certain behaviors.
Enforce boundaries by saying no with a purpose.
Like “I’m sorry, you can’t come to my house unannounced.
I have my schedule that I need to follow.
I’d appreciate talking about it beforehand”.
Keep track of everything you are involved with
Manipulators are pretty good at making you doubt your own reality.
They will twist the narrative in ways you can’t fathom.
You told your colleague you won’t be able to help them prepare the report because you’re
too busy.
But they will somehow find a way to blame you for the delay.
It’s so frustrating.
ALWAYS keep track of everything you’re involved in around them.
If it’s a colleague giving you a hard time, keep a record of all your conversations.
Obviously stay within your legal boundaries.
Instead of walking over to their seat, email them.
Email your colleague that you won’t be able to help with the report because you have too
much on your plate.
Keep track of text messages, emails, finances, meetings, your work, their work- anything
that involves them.
Leave a paper trail or digital files detailing your individual work in a project.
Just make sure you don’t infringe on their right to privacy.
Set your goals and define them clearly
It might sound preachy, but set clear goals if you want to outsmart manipulators.
Wait, what does this have to do with avoiding manipulation?
Did we switch to ‘motivational’ video or something?
No, you’re still watching ways to outsmart manipulators.
Setting and clearly defining your goals is very important.
Because this will help you notice if someone is trying to manipulate you away from your
goals.
Say you want to get to destination A, and clearly know path B takes you there.
Now, a manipulator suggests you take a path C. And you can clearly see it won’t take
you to your destination.
Congrats, you just figured out that person is manipulating you.
Before we move ahead, here’s a video you might like.
Watch and learn more about the 9 Signs That Say It’s Time To Break Up With Your Partner.
Take responsibility for your actions
Manipulators thrive on indecisiveness.
They benefit from your lack of accountability and self-confidence.
To defeat them in their game plan, you need to start taking responsibility for your actions
and their results.
Especially if you’re dealing with a manipulator at work.
They will always try to take credit for what you do.
And will try to discredit you of your hard work.
You worked hard for your part in the big project.
And when it’s completed, the manipulator will project as if it were them doing all
the work day and night.
To avoid this from happening, claim your work.
Don’t shy away from saying ‘thank you’ when the boss appreciates your work.
I mean don’t brag, but definitely don’t be a pushover.
Do not get emotionally involved
Manipulators drag you into their drama.
Force you to react emotionally.
And when you do, they BLAME YOU by blowing your emotions out of proportion.
So how do you deal with them?
By not getting emotionally involved.
Do not allow them to work up your emotions.
They will try their best to get under your skin.
Just ignore them.
Do not mistake it to be a passive push over.
Stand your ground, but keep your emotions locked.
Your manipulative uncle will try to irk you.
He’ll anger you to the point where you’ll lash out.
He’ll then sob and tell the entire family how disrespectful you are.
Ignore this person to the best of your abilities.
If they say or do something unacceptable, tell them straight away.
Don’t let things hit a boiling point before you react.
Take steps the first time they force their unsolicited opinion on you.
Show that actions have consequences
So you’re setting boundaries.
Congrats for taking the right steps.
But have you laid out consequences for people disrespecting your boundaries?
There’s no use in having boundaries if you don’t react when people violate them...
Manipulators hate when they have to face the consequences of their own actions.
So show them you are impossible to manipulate.
Make it extremely hard to get what they want from you.
This way, they’re more likely to back off.
The toxic presence of manipulative people can negatively impact your emotional and mental
health.
But how do you decide when to cut toxic people out of your life?
How do you know someone is downright evil and not just manipulative?
Here’s how...
Watch our video discussing When to Cut Toxic Family Members From Your Life
You can also try 12 Warning Signs You Are Dealing With An Evil Person
Go ahead and click on one.
Better yet, watch both.
Learn more about emotional health and relationships.
Are you planning to use any of these 9 ways to outsmart manipulative people?
Let us know in the comments below.