Hi guys welcome back to another mindful another hood Monday if you're new around
here I do these videos every Monday at 7 p.m. so please just subscribe if you
want to see more videos like this one and this week's topic is about a phrase
that I've heard a lot since being a mom and I'm sure lots of you have heard it
as well and it's the phrase you can't pour from an empty cup do you know this
phrase have you heard it before and if you have do you think it's had an impact
in your life in any way at any point in your life have you ever thought deeply
about that phrase and what it means and how it's actually very very true and I
had a lightbulb moment this week and I wanted to kind of share with you the way
that that that phrase made me feel and how I feel differently about it now and
just discuss this because I'm sure lots of you all have opinions on this subject
or will have gone through a similar situation or a stage in your life where
you felt like that phrase describes your life so yeah let's talk about that but
before I get on I just wanted to say I'm filming this video with a different
camera because I couldn't charge my camera battery in time to film this
video so I had to use this one I hope you guys don't mind I hope you don't
notice any difference I've also had my hair dyed slightly darker I'm feeling
very autumnal now I think my hair was looking a little bit damaged when it was
lighter and it was time for a change so yeah couple of changes also I'm
filming sitting on my daybed my kind of guest bed so yeah lots of boring things
so without further ado let's get on with the video
so the idea for this video came about when we were all in the car we had been
in the car for a while my one-year-old was asleep and my three-year-old was
just full of beans he had so much energy so many questions and I was just given
and given and giving all my patients all my entertainment
answering all the questions basically doing everything that I do every day and
just giving giving giving giving but then it got to a point where I just had
nothing left to give after a really long time of having so much patience and
giving him everything he wanted answering all these questions all I
wanted was for the baby to stay asleep and for my three-year-old to be happy
and for me to have two minutes to look at my phone or two I don't know what I
was doing I was replying to a message or something
and I just lost my patience and I raised my voice and I'm sure lots of us have
been there before haven't we when we just lose our patience and for me that
moment you know it's not the first time I've lost my patience with my kids it
happens but at that particular moment I felt kind of really guilty and very
introspective about the whole thing and I started to think why did I lose my
patience why why did that happen and it's that phrase that came to my
mind straightaway you can't pour from an empty cup I can't keep on giving and
giving and giving and not refill my cup and that's what happened and it then
clicked it only took me three and a half years for that phrase to finally click
in my mind I had heard it so many times I had actually thought about it I had
notes on my phone that I'd written about it because I'm weird like that and when
I think about things I like to write notes about it but it had never kept got
to a point where I had to think about it and apply it to my life and when I did
that I didn't feel guilt anymore I felt sorry for myself I felt quite sorry that
I wasn't looking after myself in this anyway that I was looking after everyone
and it was that at that point when I realized that actually if I have to
ignore my three-year-old for two minutes if I have to not answer these questions
for two minutes just so that I can take a deep breath and refill my cup of
patients of ideas of compassion of everything then surely that is the best
thing to do rather than lose my patience in it clicked and I just had a moment a
lot light bulb moment and ever since then every time I feel my cup being
empty or being drained I think about my cup it sounds weird I like talking in
metaphors and talking about cups and whatever but that's how I visualize it
now when I see myself losing my patience or when I see myself feeling exhausted
and overwhelmed and drained often is because my cup is empty you know I am
NOT looking after myself and I'm not taking time for myself and if I just do
that for a minute it makes such a difference it makes a huge difference
I've realized that more often than not now when I lose my patience when I'm
feeling overwhelmed is because my cup is empty and there's nothing left to give
I've given so much of myself and I've taken care of everyone and I'm not
taking care of myself and I know it's hard to take care of ourselves as mums
isn't it it's to me it's one of the hardest things to do because it's like
I'm adding another thing to my to-do list I've already got so much to do and
now I've got to add another thing I've got to give breakfast to two kids and
now I've got to give breakfast to myself that's three things I need to do instead
of two things it's so much easier to just do the kids and then you know time
will pass and I won't be hungry any more until lunchtime when I can just eat
whatever is left or it's that kind of not taking care of myself and not taking
care of ourselves as mums that we need to stop doing and start thinking it's
not just a case not having breakfast or not having lunch
but feeding the kids it's a case of it's gonna get to the end of the day and I'm
gonna be running so low on patience on just I won't want to give any more 21
because I've got nothing left to give and all I have is snapping and being in
patients with impatient with everyone and then I'll get angry and I'll get
frustrated and all of that simply because you just didn't take time for
yourself now I know obviously there are times when that's not the issue but on a
day-to-day basis I think for me and I know a lot of moms
as well all you need is that little bit of time to just refill your cup sorry my
battery died whilst I was in the middle of a very interesting and deep trail of
thought and now I have no idea what I was trying to say anyway so I just want
you guys to remember that we have mums but we're not invincible you know we are
allowed to take time for ourselves and we should and we need to and if we don't
take care of ourselves we can't take care of our family we can't take care of
our children if we are ill if we are poorly if we are angry we can't give
them what they need because we don't have what they need and we don't have
that patience we don't have that happiness or that creativity we need to
fill it up so that we can give it to others and you need to keep refilling it
often that's the most important thing you don't want to get to a point where
your cup is empty before you refill it and I hope you guys are not getting lost
in all these metaphors um I hope it's clear enough what I'm trying to say be
mindful of the facts that you might be looking after everyone else but not
looking after yourself enough I'm trying my best to be mindful of that because I
know that's a big problem for me and I find it a burden to look after myself
I'm kind of ashamed to admit it because why should it be a burden but I kind of
do it's like like I said before it's another thing on my to-do list but I am
being more mindful of the fact that my kids need me to look
to myself my family needs me to look after myself and I need to look after
myself so that I can feel good about the things that I'm doing and so that I
don't lose my patience or give too much that I feel like I'm so overwhelmed so
that's it I hope you guys enjoyed this video I hope it made you feel a little
bit more introspective made you think about the way your parent and how you
can do certain things to change and to be a better parent be more present be
more mindful more in the moment with your children and ultimately enjoy
parenting more than ever if you enjoyed this video please give it a big thumbs
up don't forget to subscribe if you're new and join in with mindful motherhood
on social media by tagging your own thoughts and your experiences and
anything to do with these kinds of topics that I talk about with the
hashtag mindful motherhood moment it's a great way to find like-minded people and
to just share your thoughts in a way that other people understand you as well
because we're all there for the same reason I love Instagram for my
inspiration for mindful motherhood content I find so many accounts there
maybe I'll leave a list linked in the description box below of the accounts
that I like the most if you're into that sort of thing I hope you're having a
lovely day and I'll see you all in my next video bye